Tuesday, February 4, 2014

J-Load Lives!

One of our favorite athletes, former Kentucky quarterback Jared Lorenzen, aka the Hefty Left, aka Jabba the Hut, aka a really fat dude, is still playing football - and at over 300 pounds, he's still a quarterback. According to Lost Letterman, the former NY Giants backup is playing for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters in something called the "CIFL."

Now 32 years old, Lorenzen has eschewed fads like P90X and Insanity workouts, and has instead opted to pursue a diet consisting entirely of Kentucky eating challenges*. Honestly, the 24 inch pizza at Raniero's in Cold Spring, KY seems like it would be an appetizer for this guy.

Anyway, here's Mr. Lozenzen in action - you to have hand it to the man, for being super morbidly obese, he moves better than most of us do:

*Not actually confirmed

Monday, February 3, 2014

Syracuse is the Nation's Number One Team

Syracuse officially ascends to the top spot in the country after a thrilling win over Duke. Of course they don't give out trophies for being number one at the beginning of February, but you know what, it is 350 spots better than Grambling State. We'll take it.

Now watch this cool video about the Carrier Dome:

Homage Presents: The 'CUSE Collection from HOMAGE on Vimeo.

Friday, December 27, 2013

License to Kill Gophers

Ma ma ma ma da da dum.

Ma ma ma da da da dum.

Ma ma ma da da dum.

License to kill gophers, by the government of the ACC. The Orange, free to kill gophers at will.

To kill you must know your enemy, in this case the enemy is a mid level Big 10 school, and while the Big 10 sucks, it will never quit, ever. They're like Viet Cong, or Jim Delany pursuing expansion.

Delany Cong.

What you gotta do - you gotta fall back, contain the option. You gotta play assignment football.

You gotta have superior fire power. Superior intelligence.

And that's all she wrote.


Monday, December 23, 2013

Eagle Fan Wins Sign of the Year

Last night during Sunday Night Football, NBC kindly reminded America that - stop me if you heard this - Philadelphia Eagles fans once pelted Santa with snowballs. While that was going on, this enterprising Eagles fan was up to something far funnier:

Greatest sign, or greatest sign ever?
Via - Geoff Crawley 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Syracuse Defeats Indiana: Five Observations

Mark Teixeira took in the Syracuse game Wednesday night. The buttons on his friend's shirt did not

Syracuse beat Indiana 69-52 in the ACC/Big 10 Challenge tonight. Five observations from the game are coming up as soon as I finish not getting my chest waxed.

1.) The Syracuse backcourt, which was a huge question mark coming into the season, has rounded into shape faster than anyone could have hoped. Tyler Ennis is the best freshman point guard in the country and Trevor Cooney from this year is the anti-Trevor Cooney from last year.

2.) Speaking of Cooney, Jim Boeheim has credited steady playing time and the confidence that comes with it as the main reason for his improvement. Another reason -- improved fundamentals. He's working his ass off to set up his defender off screens, getting his feet set quickly and properly, and not drifting on his shot. That, and well, he's got a killer look:
3.) I don't know what a foul is anymore. The thought at the beginning of the year was that officials would call the game close and players would "adjust." Well I don't how you adjust to grazing someone who happens to be standing in the same area code as you. At the end of the day basketball features 10 very large, athletic men in a rather confined space. Some contact is inevitable. I suspect we may see games called like this all year. Make your free throws kids.

4.) No real deep insight here, but the Orange still need more from the big men. Coleman is willing, but not yet able. Christmas is able, but not yet always willing. Both have shown some signs, if they continue to improve, that bodes well for the Orange in March -- until both are mysteriously linked to an unsubstantiated scandal by anonymous sources that is quickly forgotten as soon as the season ends.

5.) Baye Keita runs like a gazelle. He's SU's best defender in the middle of the zone. He's an able shot blocker and by all accounts, a great teammate. He is not, however, a receiver. Four years after arriving in Central New York, catching a basketball is more vexing to him than catching a tan is to Jim Boeheim.

All  in all, it's been a fantastic start to the season for the Orange. The top half of the ACC is going to be really fun to watch. Game on.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving: Let's Drop Some Turkeys

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and while this blog has remained largely out of commission, we still like to take the time to give thanks -- and the best way to do that is to carry on our favorite Thanksgiving Day tradition - watching the WKRP Turkey Drop episode.

As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

 It's really sort of amazing Jerry Jones never tried this.

Monday, October 7, 2013