The NFL is investigating allegations that Bill "the evil genius" Belichick and his New England Patriots were illegally videotaping the Jets from the sideline, in order to steal their defensive signals. The camera and tape have been shipped off to NFL headquarters, where Roger Goodell is said to be dreaming up what kind of special beat down he can come up with next (and it couldn't happen to a nicer organization).
In an exclusive report, highly placed sources deep within the Patriots organization have provided T3I with the list of defenses the organization is considering when going before the commissioner. This is news you will only get from T3I. The list includes:
- We were shooting footage for an I love New York's (defensive signals) commercial
- We didn't have enough cash to buy this book, so we thought we'd learn on our own
- Since Eric Mangini lost weight, he's too sexy to NOT have on video
- We were actually taping ourselves, Belichick is the unsuspecting subject of the TV show Cheaters - Joey Greco put us up to it
- The rumor was out there that Britney Spears was headed to NYC and we were the only people left in America who didn't have a shot of this on video
- We are actually not guilty, but will plead guilty to make this go away, then after we are convicted, we will fight the conviction. This is commonly known as the Larry Craig defense.