The following conversation happened at 10:30 am PST, in Oakland California, in the office of Golden State Warriors General Manager Chris Mullin.
Don Nelson: Making the playoffs last year was a great accomplishment, to build on that success, we need to pick captains who will provide the leadership we need to win an NBA championship.
Chris Mullin: I'm glad I brought you back Nelly, I couldn't agree more -I can't believe people think you're crazy.
Nelson: Crazy? Uh, anyway, this year, we're gonna have 3, its my favorite number.
Mullin: I'm waiting....
Nelson: I'm thinking Baron Davis - he's got a cool name. A guy named Baron HAS to be a captain.
Mullin: Unconventional reasoning from an unconventional coach, but I have to say, I agree. As our leading scorer and a guy who has the ball in his hands most of the time, he's a great choice to lead this team. Who else?
Nelson: I'm also going to go with Matt Barnes - I'm hoping if I name him Captain he'll tattoo a picture of me on his forehead - I've always wanted to be tattooed on somebody's head.
Mullin: While some may question your methods and thought processes, the end result, as usual, is brilliant. In addition to the tattoo thing, his effort, energy and the long road he took to get to this point will serve as a great example for the rest of the team - who is the third guy gonna be?
Nelson: STEPHEN JACKSON!
Mullin: What!!!!!!!!! He's suspended for the first seven games of the year - you know that right?
Nelson: Well playing in games is overrated - now where are the donuts you promised me when you asked me to stop up here?
Mullin: You can not be serious - in addition to the suspension, he's highly volatile, has a history of legal problems, constantly argues with officials and was a key part of the biggest brawl the NBA has seen in the last 30 years! He is not the guy we want setting the tone for this team.
Nelson: He'll be fine - I heard he's getting more tattoos - there may be a spot for me there as well.
Mullin: He can't be a captain - I'm pretty sure he stole my car last week!
Nelson: Even if he did, you can afford another one. Besides, when you were a player you never drove to the hoop, how much driving do you do?
Mullin: Nelly, cut the bullshit, what's the real reason?
Nelson: OK, OK, if you really must know, he promised me that the next time we go to a strip club, I get to hold his gun. I don't have a gun of my own, I always wanted one!
Mullin: YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!
Nelson: I am, and guess what - I already announced it to the press! Now, about those donuts......
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