Syracuse V. West Virginia - Official Idiotic Predictions

Picking Syracuse games used to be a dicey proposition - especially in the last few years of the Pasqualoni era, you never knew what team was going to show up. Thanks to the prowess of Greg Robinson, things are much more certain these days - unfortunately - its certain losses we are dealing with. Here is how we see the "Battle for the Ben Schwartzwalder Trophy" playing out on an unseasonably warm day under the teflon roof of the Carrier Dome:

Boss

If anyone has any misconceptions about a Louisville game replay…all I can say is “Dr. Van Nostrand will see you now.” The outcome of this game is not in question, only the final numbers are. I’m thinking 46 (as in 46 minutes of real time that will have passed before I abandon this game in favor of the noon Big Ten red game on ESPN) and 6 (the number of ottomans that WVU fans set ablaze in Morgantown after the win…they save the couch-burning for real games). Final score:

WVA - 46
SU - 6

Champ

So Greg "360 Degrees" Robinson is a little upset over talking about the Miami of Ohio game. Well Coach, we wouldn't be talking about it IF YOU WON THE GAME. You see GRob, when you lose a game to a lower tier MAC team, people will talk. Bring on the Neers: Remember when you were a kid and you did something really bad and Mom was fuming? You'd get sent to your room and hear those dreaded words....."Wait until your father gets home!" Painstakingly you waited for Dad to come home. Well Cuse fans, Dad is headed to the Dome and he's livid over losing to USF last week. Final score:

WVA - 52
Our Coach Stinks-10

Russianator

Today, Dave Rahme quotes the fearless leader of the Syracuse football team as saying,
"With option football there are some risks involved," SU head coach Greg Robinson said. "You can gain a lot of yards with it, but you have to score. Yardage is just yardage without points."

That really sums up his philosophy on defense - bend but don't break. Well guess what, SU is giving up 34 points a game this year, so memo to Greg, your team gives up both yardage and points - you might want to rethink a few things.

Tomorrow's game is the classic matchup of hot knife vs. warm butter, and if you're a Syracuse fan and haven't figured out which is which, please share with me whatever you're drinking, it must be good. That being said, I have some good news for SU fans, the most points West Virginia has ever scored in a game is 92 - that was against Marshall in 1915. In 1951, they beat Geneva College 89-0. Both of those records are safe because there's no way Rich Rodriguez plays Pat White and risks him getting hurt in this laugher, so the cuse should be able to keep them under 60. On offense, West Virginia native Pat "Slim Shady" Shadle drills the 3 fgs a box of devil dogs at halftime.

One stat WVA will be gunning for - topping the Big East record 457 rushing yards they hung on SU last year. (Memo to Greg - they scored 41 points while doing that).

WVA - 59
SU - 9