The LVP Watch

For my next trick, I'm going to make our play off chances disappear

It was a banner week for horrendous performances in the NFL. We saw terrible play from a variety of quarterbacks, missed field goals, fumbles in the end zone, fumbles near the goal line, a rash of interceptions and flat out retarded decisions on special teams. It makes sorting out who has the inside track on T3I Least Valuable Player in the NFL award no easy task, but its time to give it another shot.

Many thanks to all the great suggestions last week, if your guy didn't make it, it's no reflection on his incompetence, it just shows how much competition is out there. Of course, playing terrible usually results in a benching or getting injured, and we're trying to find guys that make their way onto the field every week.

Let's get to this week's list.

1. David Carr - Quarterback, Carolina Panthers. An easy choice, as he's been simply awful every time he's set foot on the field this year. He kicked it up a notch on Sunday, going 10-22 with 95 yards and 2 picks before being benched in favor of the artist known as "Matt Moore." Even though he was never very good in Houston, it's still a stunning collapse for the former number one draft pick. Before the season began, Carr was being viewed as a good insurance policy for Jake Delhomme - now Brian Baldinger is ripping him a new a-hole. Personally, I think it all went down hill for him once he went to the weird 1800s magician look he's been sporting this season.

2. Steve McNair/Kyle Boller - Quarterbacks, Baltimore Ravens. These two jokers have combined for 7 touchdown passes all year and the Ravens, who won 13 games a year ago, are 4-7. While this lost season isn't totally on them - Derrick Mason and Mark Clayton don't scare anyone and are both averaging under 10 yards per catch, some one has to take the blame, and we all know it won't be Brian Billick (he's a genius, just ask him). I would like to thank both Boller and McNair, because the Ravens awful season means we get to hear a lot less from Ray Lewis, and that's always a good thing.

3. Alex Barron - Tackle, St. Louis Rams. Barron has been a whipping boy all year for us and some of it is really unfair, since the Rams offensive line has been decimated by injuries. However, Marc Bulger got killed again on Sunday, suffering a concussion that knocked him out of the game - and where did the hit come from? Barron's side of course. While the coaches and Bulger did not blame Barron after the game, I will. He hasn't been good all year long. If Bulger is still in the game, Gus Frerotte doesn't get the chance to be Gus Frerotte and fumble away the snap - and the game - at the very end.

4. Eli Manning - Quarterback, NY Giants. Here's an interesting stat courtesy of Deadspin, in Sunday's Giants-Vikings game, Minnesota accumulated 129 yards and 1 TD off of completions by Tarvaris Jackson to various Vikings, meanwhile, they racked up 169 yards and 3 TDs off of completions Eli Manning threw to various Vikings. Jackson, a staple on this list, was smart enough to let Eli "Out-Tarvaris" him, so Eli gets a spot on the list. When you play worse than Tarvaris Jackson and you're both on the same field, you immediately get his spot on this list. Don't worry Giants fans, Peter King still believes in Eli - or at least he used to.

5. Todd Sauerbrun - Punter/Kicker, Denver Broncos. Let's see, Todd get into feuds with other kickers, gets busted for violating the league's substance abuse policy, and on Sunday he kicked to Devin Hester. Now, I don't care if Shanahan told him it was OK to kick the ball down the middle to the most dangerous return man on the planet, he's got to be smart enough to kick it away from him ANYWAY. To make matters worse, on one of the returns Sauerbrun attempted to get his fat ass in the way of Hester, only Hester changed directions suddenly (a concept completely foreign to Mr. Sauerbrun and punters in general) which resulted in Sauerbrun falling down without being touched, and Hester hurdling over him. Well done Todd, well done indeed.

Notes: No one from last week's list made it - Shaun Alexander and Alex Smith have not seen the field in a few weeks, Byron Leftwich is back on the pine, Cedric Benson was playing pretty well before before injuring his ankle, (which has now ended his season) and Shawne Merriman is actually a good player, even if he is a jack ass (have a sense of humor Charger fans).

Fred Robbins and Jason David both played on winning teams this week, Joey Harrington and Rex Grossman will always be strong candidates. Look for them, Tarvaris Jackson, and our guy Mr. Alexander to be in the mix every week.