Sunday, September 30, 2007

I Don't Know


When we all gather in the cemetery and bury Greg Robinson's career as the head coach at Syracuse University (and it HAS to be at the end of this season) "I don't know" should be on head stone.

In his post game interview with Donnie Webb, he uttered this phrase 6 times! Six fucking times - go ahead and count them, they're all there. Well guess what Greg, you are PAID to know. At my job if almost every time we had a project something went horribly wrong, you better believe that "I don't know" would NOT be an acceptable answer for my boss. You know what you do with people who "don't know? You replace them with someone who does know.

As Champ points out - this game was a big step back. Since good old Greggo obviously doesn't know what to do next, I'll be glad to tell him. Here's what he should do for the rest of the season:


  • Play Doug Hogue at running back. Two games ago you burned his redshirt year, playing him against Illinois and he hasn't seen the field since. Curtis Brinkley is playing on 2 bad knees, refuses to pick up the blitz and Jeremy Sellers is easily the worst running back in Division I football. Paul Chiara isn't any good, but he's better than Sellers - hell right now Kevin Everett would be better than Sellers.


  • Play the redshirt freshman on the offensive line - they can't be any worse that what is in there now.


  • Start Mike Mele at middle linebacker and get Parker Cantey on the field as well. The 3 starting linebackers are the worst in college football. While we are here, start Derrell Smith at the other LB spot.


  • In practice do some drills forcing your defenders to look at the MID SECTION of the offensive player. Even with all the fakes in the world, a person's mid section isn't going anywhere, and since this team falls for every fake and juke an opponent puts on them, this could be helpful.


  • Then again, they practice against Jeremy Sellers, which means they never see a juke until game time, so disregard that last point.


  • Play Max Suter on defense - he's been one of the few bright spots all year and AJ Brown couldn't beat Rosie O'Donnell in a foot race.


  • Put your house on the market and move as far away from New York as possible, you've successfully ruined the last 3 football seasons for me and I can't take it anymore.


There you have it Greg, now you know. Please get out of my life.




Saturday, September 29, 2007

One step up and two steps back

"We've given each other some hard lessons lately
But we ain't learnin'
We're the same sad story that's a fact
One step up and two steps back"

~ Bruce Springsteen, "One Step Up"

What better way to describe the last week in Syracuse football.

Final score Syracuse fans: Hawks of Red-17, Men of Orange-14.

The highs:

  • the goaline stand
  • Max Suter continuing to shine on kickoffs (and he'll be getting a lot of practice this year)
  • we're still in first place in the Big East

The lows:

  • 66 yards rushing
  • 3rd and 1 at the 50...FIND A WAY TO GET THAT YARD
  • penalites
  • here comes a ticked-off WVU
  • that ONN coverage was like watching a Time Warner 26 high school game

Friday, September 28, 2007

SU-Miami of Ohio - Predictions


The Idiots once again look into our respective crystal balls (cough - empty pint glasses) and offer up our game predictions for tomorrow:


Champ


Who shows up this week, Jekyll or Hyde? I'm going with a win by the Orangemen, 17-9. The WR's need to come up big again with the Syracuse running game missing in action. One way or the other I know this, Syracuse will remain undefeated in the Big East after this week as the 'Neers lick their chops.


Boss


Few things irk me more than political correctness in sports. It drives me insane when schools change their nickname, just because it may be slightly offensive to one group or another. So what if it is --- offending people is what this blog is all about. This Saturday’s opponent, the Miami of Ohio (they hate being called that) RedHawks, used to be nicknamed the Redskins until 1997. That is when their Board of Trustees’ balls shriveled into nothing after swallowing an elixir brewed up by the Miami Indian Tribe. Thankfully, Syracuse would never do something like that…ummmm…onto the score: Redskins 29 Orangemen 23. Grob still has some convincing of this idiot to get done.


Russianator


Andrew Robinson had a breakout game last week against Louisville - 423 yards passing, 4 tds, national acclaim and attention from the likes of USA Today. Hell, I even heard a talking head on ESPN call him by the wrong first name this week (at least it was a mention). Young Andrew comes out firing on all cylinders this week - too bad his receivers revert back to earlier form and drop everything in sight. Not too worry cuse fans, the defense, using smoke and mirrors, keeps the team in the game against a BAD Redhawk squad, and ARob leads a late drive to set up the game winning 43 yard field goal by Pat Shadle - the cuse wins 23-20.


Afterward Shadle celebrates by eating 43 burritos - no one sits near him on the plane ride home.

The Rise of Taj


The only thing I remember about last year's Syracuse-Miami of Ohio game was..........well nothing. My sister got married that day and being the good brother that I am, I decided to see how much free vodka I could consume in one night (thanks mom). The answer - a lot. Since Champ was in attendance as well, we call all just assume his memory is not so good either.....


That's the flimsy excuse I am using for completely missing the fact that Taj Smith got injured against the mighty Redhawks last year. Syracuse.com has brief interview with him about this - and while not very enlightening, someone up there should have at least tipped Taj off to look at the camera while they were filming the thing.


That being said, the cuse will need another big effort from Mr. Smith if they are to win their second game in a row - and here's hoping the rise of "our" Taj does better than the movie - because that bombed.


Memo to Brian White, Greg Robinson et al.....let's not call the WR reverse tomorrow, there is no need to anger the Taj Gods - the movie has done enough damage.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Champ Top 10

  • The last Top 10 for the month of September

1. USC- Hanging on to the 1-spot.

2. LSU- The gap has closed.

3. WVU- Great matchup w/ USF this week. Go Big East.

4. Florida- A week away from LSU.

5. Oklahoma- Should put a hurting on Colorado.

6. Texas- Hosting KSU this week.

7. Cal- Would be ranked higher, except for my East Coast bias.

8. Wisconsin- Battle of undefeateds vs. MSU this week.

9. Ohio State- The "down" Big 10 may be there's to lose.

10. Taj Smith's hands. Along with any other Cuse WR last week.

Champ's pick of the week: Washington +21 vs. USC.

The Playoffs get Joba's nipples hard.

May 29, 2007: the Yanks find themselves in the basement of the AL East, 14.5 games behind the 86ers. Joe Torre's job seemed to be on the line every night. Through it all, the Bronx Bombers pulled off the best 2nd half record in baseball and as a result, they are ready for October action.

For this idiot that means two things: staying up way too late on worknights to get through a 4.5 hour playoff game and endless promos for the latest Fox series we have to be brainwashed into watching.

The good guys over at the Pride of the Yankees Blog have a nice recap on the clincher, including Joba's revelation of just how excited this makes him.

While not a division title as T3I had hoped for, to win a World Series you have to first be in the playoffs.

Bring home #27 boys.

SU v. Miami - Greg Robinson's Most Important Game



Why would anyone want to watch a football game featuring a lower rung Big East team that hasn't finished above .500 since 2001, versus a lower rung MAC team that won 2 games last year and hasn't played much better in 2007? Especially considering that the weather is supposed to be nice, the broadcast quality and announcers will suck and there are a million other things you could be doing on a weekend afternoon? Here's why, it's the most important game of Greg Robinson's career.

Am I crazy? Am I being hyperbolic? Am I imitating Skip Bayless and blowing little things out of proportion to make it seem like everything I say is important? Maybe, (except for the Bayless part, he's a no talent ass clown) but I don't think so, and here's why. Greg Robinson has to demonstrate that last week's upset win versus Louisville was not a fluke.

The first three games this year were unmitigated disasters. They were more unwatchable than "The Two Corey's" on A&E. Syracuse was outscored 118-32, the offense and defense posted numbers that left them close to last in the nation in each category (thanks Notre Dame). The team was a train wreck and it it was a foregone conclusion that Robinson had no clue how it could be fixed.

Last week changed everything. Even IF Louisville is as bad as they played, Syracuse demonstrated that they have playmakers at the skill positions and those playmakers CAN execute. The coaches devised a game plan that actually worked - attacking Louisville deep down field on offense and playing a soft cover 2 to not give up the big play on defense, and guess what - it worked.

So now the question is - was last week the exception or the rule? The team has lined up 27 times under Robinson, 21 times they've lost. Does he have the ability to turn this around? Before the season began, I had a lot of questions about his ability and while Saturday's game will NOT tell us if he's capable of righting this sinking ship, a loss will tell us he can't. It's very simple, lose to Miami and that's the final nail in a coffin.


Right now Miami of Ohio is a bad football team. In their last two games they've been out scored 89-10. They are not sure who their quarterback will be, and they are beset by injuries. Syracuse beat them by 20 last year, if Robinson can not put together a winning game plan, and get his players to execute that game plan, there's no reason to believe he will ever be able to do so.

If they do win, even by a small margin, it's an important step. If they lose, all the good will accumulated this week is lost, and the Louisville game meant nothing. Is Greg Robinson a potentially good head coach who's learning on the job and been hit with the bad luck of losing Delone Carter, Tom Ferron, Jermaine Pierce and Jared Kimmel, or is Greg Robinson a career assistant who's in over his head? So far, he's proven it's the latter - but last week made everyone take another look. Beating Miami of Ohio is the first step towards proving he knows what he's doing, and that's pretty important, don't you think?

The Melo Center


Syracuse broke ground on the Carmelo K. Anthony Center yesterday and reading the stories brought back wonderful memories from 2003. Specifically the road trip the Idiots took to Boston for the first round games, watching the regionals at the Pepsi Arena in Albany, and of course the 2003 NCAA Championship. Read all about the event here and here, in addition SU Althletics has a very good photo gallery of the event. The loyalty and love Carmelo continues to show for the program is simply amazing - here's hoping the Melo Center is home to many future championship teams.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Road to Redemption is Paved with Weed?


"I must redeem myself, I have to." Michael Vick, August 28, 2007.


Ron Mexico's long road back to respectability may have just got a little longer if this ESPN report claiming he failed a drug test is true. Apparently, in addition to not knowing about STDs (cough, allegedly) Ronnie Mex also failed to realize that pot does show up on drug tests.


Apparently Mike's idea of redeeming himself has more to with trying to land a part in the next cheech and chong movie (how's that for dated reference?) than it does with playing in the NFL again.

Clip(s) of the Week - Insane Coaches

Whenever possible I try to post a Clip of the Week having to do with SU's upcoming football opponent, which this week would be Miami of Ohio. I know this is going to be hard to believe, but a quick search turns up very little - other than preppy losers and fat chicks taking about how white the place is, or how good the food is. If you are into that, there are a lot more of those videos out there, but you're going to have to find them on your own.

Since Mike Gundy's epic tirade on Saturday is still huge news, and inspiring e-card sites, we might as well stay with the insane coaching rant as our theme. So, loyal readers (all 6 of you), today I bring you the vastly under rated, and mostly forgotten about, work of John L. Smith. In this interview, he brings us a classic meltdown. I really enjoy Brent Musburger chiming in at the end with the, "a very honest assessment" line. Good stuff, enjoy.



Bonus clips for you - John L. Smith slapping himself here and Nunes has a clip about Steve Kragthorpe not making any friends in Louisville here - which Donnie Webb at the Post Standard picked up today as well.

UPDATE - JCB passed along this MONUMENTAL CLIP of a Michigan radio host losing his mind after last year's Michigan State loss, if fits nicely with today's theme.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Broadcasting 101...Timing

You know the clueless co-worker who interrupts your Monday morning quarterbacking discussion, by interjecting a foolish question along the lines of, “Has anyone been to the PF Chang’s on Rockville Pike?” or “Which blend of grass seed should I put down this time of year?” or “Why do they call it Ovaltine?” Anyway that guy…he showed up in Overtime of the Georgia – Alabama game over the weekend…and his name is Mike Patrick. This tremendously awkward exchange between Patrick and color analyst Todd Blackledge occured just seconds before the game-winning TD pass, thanks to the guys at awful announcing for the link. ESPN are you going to stand for this, enough already! Put Ron Franklin back on the primetime game.

Demolition Man


Boston 86ers owner John Henry is really good at destroying things. First he dismantled the 2004 World Champions. A smart thing to do when it took you eighty-six years to win the World Series. Now he's focused on destroying a $16 million dollar estate in Brookline.
Smart move John.

The Wisconsin Badgers, the Most Sensual of Big Ten Teams

Apparently in the Midwest, the Wisconsin Badgers are proving to be a powerful aphrodisiac. According to this story in the Capital Times, two people were arrested for going at it in the women's room at Camp Randall stadium three weeks ago. While I ripped the retarded reporter in Oklahoma earlier today, I give credit to Mike Miller for this great lead paragraph:

"While the Badgers were scoring frequently in the second quarter of their victory over Washington State on Sept. 1, a young couple was scoring on their own in a stall in the women's restroom in the upper deck, resulting in a court appearance today on charges of disorderly conduct."

Miller also finishes up strong, getting an officer to recount a story about sex at a concert at the Kohl center, where the guy didn't even know the woman's name. I don't know about the rest of you, but nothing says sexy like Big 10 football, and a foul smelling rest room. Special thanks to friend of the T3I JCB for digging this one up.

My Rant on a Tremendous Rant

By now everyone in the free world has seen Oklahoma State Head Coach Mike Gundy's terrific post game tirade at the press conference following their win versus Texas Tech. As we've made clear many times on this blog, there's NOTHING T3I love more than a press conference melt down. Jim Mora, Herm Edwards, Denny Green, Allen Iverson - we tip our hats to you - the joy your rants have brought us are immeasurable. If you somehow haven't seen Gundy's explosion it's right here:



Now - what's really interesting is the column that prompted the rant. It's here (it will take forever to load, the servers in Oklahoma must be powered by a hamster running on a wheel). As you can see, the columnist essentially assassinates this kid's character. Really great work by the reporter, there's nothing better than writing a story chocked filled with innuendo, rumors and slander, which essentially says this kid doesn't have the balls to play division I college football.

What's even better is the indignant response from her, and the many members of the media. It is complete crap that a profession that on a daily basis questions the integrity of almost every facet of public life, often using "unnamed sources," gets indignant when their work is called into question.

In her article today, she says Gundy has refused to tell her what's not true in the article, that he has attacked her credibility, and she stands by the "facts" in her story. First off all, to use rumors to trash a kid robs you of credibility, second of all, in the rant above, GUNDY POINTS OUT 2 SPECIFIC ITEMS in the column that were not true. In addition to being a scumbag, the reporter is apparently deaf - because uh, I don't know if you noticed, but Coach Gundy was pretty damn loud in that presser.

Why is there a need to even do the story in the first place? A quarterback who wasn't playing very well gets benched, and instead of reporting that "the quarterback didn't play well and got benched" - this bored reporter tries to turn this into Watergate. My God man - you mean to tell me that this was the only angle she could come up with? I mean, if the kid had been playing lights out and found himself mysteriously on the pine, then looking into it makes sense. This has to be one of the weakest premises for a hatchet piece in modern times.

Another aspect of this whole fiasco that I really enjoy is the way a lot of print reporters turned TV talking heads subtly defend her. For example, on Mike and Mike in the Morning, while Golic said he thought that type of criticism should be off-limits, Greenberg would only label it "a tough column." Basically, every moron who's on TV and used to be a print journalist, including Wilbon and Kornheiser, refused to call her out on the issue. Now if the shoe was on the other foot, they'd all be screaming about "code of silence" and how coaches defend one another.

For all I know Bobby Reid is a thumb sucking momma's boy who wets the bed - but from this hack's column there's no way to know that. I hear rumors everyday, isn't it the job of a reporter to look at rumors and find facts to substantiate them? If her "sources" are so solid, have someone, ANYONE, say something on the record. This isn't a matter of a source blowing the whistle on something that affects national security, it's about who starts at quarterback for a second tier Big 12 team! I get sick and tired of these so called journalists hiding behind blind sources, then claiming they are insulted when their journalistic integrity is called into question. As Gundy said, it makes me want to puke.

On a lighter note, at 2:26 mark of the clip, Gundy breaks out the "I'm 40" line - which reminded me of this Sally O'Malley bit that ran on SNL this year (special thanks to the girl for this idea). It's a classic.

Monday, September 24, 2007

NFL News, Notes and Ramblings - Who Would You Rather Be Stuck With - Norv or Rex?



Two of the most interesting sub plots of the young NFL season have to be the disappointing starts of the San Diego Chargers and the Chicago Bears. Both teams are loaded with talent, and both have Achilles heels that look like they were lifted from Big Foot.



In the case of the Chargers, that problem happens to reside with their head coach - Norv Turner. First off - what kind of name is Norv anyway? That's the kind of first name that should only appear in the Redenbacher family. Including the 1-2 start this year, in the last 35 games for which Norv has been the head coach, his team has won exactly 10 times.



Let me commend A.J. Smith and the whole Charger organization for waiting until February to can Marty, then having to turn the reigns of a 14 win team over to a guy with a career winning percentage of .413 - that makes about as much sense as.........



What's going on in Chicago right now. Let me say I really admire the way they steadfastly refuse to acknowledge that Rex Grossman stinks. Let's do a quick recap of the Grossman era so far - due mainly to injuries, in his first three years in the league he plays in a grand total of 8 games, during which he does nothing special. Last year he started out hot, then almost single handedly derailed their entire season, only to get bailed out time and time again by a great defense.



So this year instead of going out and getting some insurance for him, what did they do? They stand pat with Brian Griese as a back up, apparently feeling secure he won't trip over his dog in the driveway and hurt himself. They then proceed to TRADE their best running back, Thomas Jones to the Jets, leaving a moody and unproven Cedric Benson as the primary ball carrier. So far big Ced is averaging a whopping 3.2 yards per carry - watch out Walter Payton, Benson is coming.


Call me an idiot, but I'm not exactly shocked that Rex hasn't been able to carry the team. After all he does have a career completion percentage of 54%, and he's thrown 4 more interceptions than touchdowns. I'm guessing Lovie Smith's is going to have to think up a new way to justify keeping Rex on the field, because repeatedly saying, we are 1-2 with Rex as our starting quarterback just isn't that convincing. There's a great headline in the Chicago Sun Times today - "The End of an Error."




In other news, a friend of this particular idiot described the hideous uniforms the eagles wore yesterday as looking like a Michigan wolverine had sex with a San Diego Charger throwback jersey. It's the most accurate description I've heard to this point, however if the Eagles want to hang 56 on the board next week, they can wear pink for all I care. It is worth pointing out the the Eagles cheerleaders looked great in the blue and yellow, which is nice. Scroll through these photos to see what I mean.

Kurt Warner is still in the league - frankly I'm a surprised as you - and people still like what they see.

Nice work Buffalo, trading away Kelly Holcomb (because JP Losman is soooo good) - the Trent Edwards era has begun - don't know who he is? Neither does Marv Levy, who could live to 160 and the Bills won't see the playoffs again with him calling the shots.

Boss is a HUGE Steeler fan and I'm sure he's happy today - there's no reason not to be. They look fantastic right now and for what it's worth, Mike Tomlin's winning percentage is .587 points higher than Norv Turner's.


Finally, the Raiders get on the board with a win, which will make Champ happy - great work by Lane Kiffin, using the exact same tactic that Shanahan used on him last week, to win the game.

Hometown Hero

Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

Was Syracuse's stunning upset Saturday the first step on the road back to respectability, or a freak, one time occurrence? Only time will tell, however, it's nice to see Syracuse get some national attention that doesn't include the words "laughing stock." Ivan Maisel of ESPN correctly states that the Syracuse team is a hero in it's hometown. The most interesting part about the story to me was that Maisel points out Syracuse scored 1.5 points more than they were favored to lose by - this game was crazier than Britney Spears after a night on the town.

Andrew Robinson was obviously impressive Saturday, showing poise and leadership well beyond what you would expect for a player who only made 4 college starts. While he doesn't throw a pretty ball, he also doesn't throw it to the other team and it was wonderful to see his receivers (who have been a huge disappointment until Saturday) make some plays. Kudos also go out to offensive coordinator Brian White, who decided to attack the AWFUL Louisville secondary with a vertical passing game. If they had connected on a couple of near misses to Mike Williams down the sideline, the game would have really been out of reach.

The last time SU beat a ranked opponent was November 27, 2004, when they beat Boston College in their last game in the Big East. All three idiots were at that game in Boston, with Champ leading the A-C-C chant after Diamond Ferri destroyed Bettor's College all by himself. Good times.

This win was a long time coming, so we might as well celebrate, this clip from Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician is a minute and 30 seconds of pure fun. Enjoy cuse fans, we can only hope this is the beginning and not a mirage.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

This Crow is Delicious


Well, all three idiots were just a taaaaaaaaaaad off in our game predictions this week, and frankly we couldn't be happier. While the team certainly has glaring deficiencies, something tells me we will have plenty of time to discuss those - it's a long season. Today, we celebrate, and offer our congratulations to the mighty Orange.

Since it wouldn't be the day after a game without some bitching, a little taste of the meltdown that's occurring in Kentucky right now can be found here, here, here, here, and here.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Ramble on…

With NO apologies to Led Zeppelin.

It was less than three weeks ago when Yankee fans had Mike Mussina on the first bus to Scranton. Not quite as radical, Joe Torre pulled him out of the rotation for a couple weeks and since having been reinserted, Moose is 2-0 over 12 2/3 IP, and has allowed just 8 hits and 0 earned runs in his last two starts. Ingenious.

T3I’s loathing of the uniform changes at SU since Darryl Gross has arrived is well chronicled throughout this blog. But has anyone else noticed that Syracuse.com is now sporting a new logo, and big surprise --- I despise this change too! It is lacking in creativity and the lowercase typeset is less imposing than a Greg Robinson coached football team.

Phil Fulmer, put the utensils down and push the bread pudding aside, your Vols are on upset alert this weekend vs. Arkansas State, and the fans in Knoxville aren’t too excited with prospects of a holiday trip to Shreveport.

Looking at the field in this weekend’s Turning Stone Resort Championship, I can’t help but wonder when did the PGA start hosting US Open Sectional qualifying at its tour events?

Friday, September 21, 2007

What do Syracuse Football and Mr. Food Have in Common?




Find those rabbit ears! Donnie's blog with a TV update for the Syracuse-Miami OH game.....those lucky residents of Ohio can tune into the Ohio News Now to watch this gridiron classic.


TV Networks and start times are good barometers of where your program stands. It was not too long ago we were playing in prime time on ESPN, or part of a 6:30 game on the Deuce. I never thought I'd miss Dave Simms callling a Cuse-Rutgers game at 12:00 on ESPN Plus. But the Ohio News Now?


Chin up Cuse fans, while watching ONN be sure to catch:

You add Syracuse football to this mix and we're talking Emmy's people!

Viva La France - SU-Louisville Game Predictions




As we do every week, T3I bring you our weekly predictions for the upcoming Syracuse football game. No need to waste any time, let's get right to it.

Champ:

Bonjour mon amis! T31 takes you on a history lesson today. June 14, 1940: The German Blitzkrieg rolls into Paris. Ripping through the French countryside in record time, the Wermacht celebrated complete victory over France on June 22, 1940 when the French officially waived the white flag. As a quick aside, they really should adopt the white flag as their official flag.

Never in modern history had such complete dominance been witnessed on the field of battle. The "hot knife through butter" simile rang true as Panzer divisions squashed the "opposition." That brings us to September 22, 2007. Charles De Gaulle meet Greg Robinson. Daryl Gross meet Paul Reynaud. Meanwhile, the Blitzkrieg rolls this weekend.....final:

Les Cardinales Rouges: 63 L'Orange: 3

Fear not Orange fans, we can learn from history....June 6, 1944.

Boss

I know that Grob and his boys haven’t exactly given the SU faithful much reason for optimism. In fact, lately I have been going into games just hoping not to be embarrassed. And with Louisville coming off a last-minute loss to Kentucky last weekend, one could anticipate the Cards venting a bit of frustration at our expense. However, after sorting through the JavaScript that GRobot has been cranking out this week, I think this SU squad is going to come out inspired, focused, and flying all over the field. Spearheaded by the solid play of our pass defense, ranked 38th in the nation (sometimes stats lie, sometimes they don’t), and a breakout performance from Taj Smith, I think the Orange will be able to keep this one relatively close…

Louisville 61 Syracuse 15

Call me an idiot…yes, a fool…no.

Russianator

Lets face the facts - upsets happen in college football all the time. Week one this year gave us Appalachian State and their historic upset of Michigan. Louisville, the team that SU plays tomorrow, was stung last week by Kentucky. Even our own beloved Orangemen have history on their side - anyone remember Syracuse v. Nebraska? I sure do, it was a historic moment in the program's history.

While Louisville isn't as good as Nebraska was back then, this game has a lot of similarities. Back then, SU's coach was a gray haired guy in his 50s, who had struggled early in his tenure, making fans uneasy. The opponent, a high ranked team with an extremely explosive offense, was favored by a wide margin. Well guess what folks, this is the week we relive history - and that history is Syracuse-Nebraska............1983, when the Huskers beat the cuse 63-7. Expect Louisville to put the same score up on the orange tomorrow.

Louisville 63 Syracuse 7

If you are going to watch the game, here are a couple of items to watch which may make things interesting after the score gets out of hand. Can Louisville top any of theses records -

Most rushing yards(game): 275 Anthony Allen against Middle Tenn State
Most passing yards(game): 592 Chris Redman against East Carolina
Most receiving yards(game): 214 Ibn Green against East Carolina

Auburn Wins - Prisoners Celebrate!

Stephen D. Cannerelli / The Post-Standard


Apparently the Auburn Doubledays won the NY Penn League Championship and the guy above is very happy about it. I'm not saying he escaped, but there is a maximum security facility right in the middle of town. Kind of makes you wonder.....

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Champ Top 10



This week's Top 10:


  1. USC- The Tigers are closing the gap.
  2. LSU- SEC, they play some good ball down there.
  3. WVU- Be afraid Syracuse fans, very afraid.
  4. Florida- October 6th makes me giddy.
  5. Oklahoma- Tulsa is always fired up for this game.
  6. Texas- Bigger margin of victory, Texas over Rice or Louisville over Syracuse?
  7. Cal- Should roll over Arizona.
  8. Wisconsin- Take your mulligan from last week boys.
  9. Penn State- Joe Pa cracks the Top 10
  10. Las Vegas District Attorney David Roger- Anyone who is trying to put this guy in jail is a friend of the Idiots.

Champ's pick of the week: Penn State -3 over Michigan.

Completely Obvious Quote of the Day

There isn't much Greg Robinson says these days that's actually newsworthy, or provides people with much insight into the man, or the team. He's far from the only coach who relies heavily on "coach speak" when dealing with reporters, although his repeated vows of optimism and habit of talking in circles have driven most of the fan base totally insane in less than three years.


Today, in an article that appeared in the Syracuse Post Standard that is mainly focused on the fact that Andrew Robinson has been spending more time on his back than a hooker, good old G-Rob issued this gem - which is as obvious as can be - but is certainly worth repeating:


"If our defenders are sitting on the bench, that's a good thing."



Amen to that G-Rob, amen to that. On this point, we certainly agree.

Karma's a Bitch - Thanks Dan Shaughnessy



With the NY Yankees closing to with 1.5 games of the Red Sux last night, exclusive sources deep within the sux organization have revealed EXCLUSIVELY to T3I that they have launched a complete investigation into the reasons behind the team's current collapse. The investigation is said to center around the following items.

- Rumors that someone spiked Manny Ramirez's hair gel

- Which coach allowed Eric Gagne to give Papelboner pitching tips

- Does Big Papi have an addiction to crappy D'Angelo's sandwiches

-Who washed the ketchup off Schilling's "bloody sock"

- Why Bill Simmons ignored the sux all summer and ruined their karma

- Is Joe Torre secretly on HGH

- Why Bill Belichick has not been brought in to help steal signals



However, if you want the real reason for the collapse, look no further than the work of Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy. In addition to sporting one of the last man perms on the planet, on August 29th, he offered up this column, declaring that "the Red Sox won the America League East." Should the sux continue to fall all over themselves and lose the division, they certainly have him to blame, and that makes me laugh.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Excuse me...

Barry Bonds, since when do you get to decide who is an idiot...that is like O.J. calling Phil Spector an "artful dodger." As a resident idiot, I’ll be one (of 3 Idiots) making decisions on who qualifies for that distinguished honor. For the uniformed, Mark Ecko, the fashion designer (whatever that is), paid over $750,000 for Bonds record breaking home run ball and has put its fate in the hands of….get this…baseball fans. Novel concept…maybe, marketing ploy…certainly, idiotic…hardly. Memo to Barry, stop yapping, thank the lord everyday that Bud Selig is the commissioner, finish the season out, and disappear already.

The New Lou Holtz


When he was an active coach Lou Holtz was famous for telling the media how great his team's next opponent was, regardless of the facts. To Lou, there was no such thing as an inferior opponent, no such thing as an easy game and every team on the schedule was the second coming of the 1972 Miami Dolphins. In reality, it's probably what made Lou a very good coach - and it's also what makes him a terrible broadcaster (that and his really weird voice).


It's too early in his head coaching career to tell if Louisville coach Steve Kragthorpe will achieve Lou's level of success, however, his comments to the media this week prove one thing - he's taking Lou's approach when talking to the press.


This quote might be my favorite of the season so far -

"We've got to get back off the mat and get ready to play a Syracuse team that is very, very dangerous and very sound on the defensive side of the ball. They bring pressure from a lot of different angles and they have a variety of fronts. On the offense side of the ball I think the QB is playing more efficiently every time he plays, and they have some big-play guys on the outside. So, we've got a challenge."
While I wouldn't expect Coach Krapthorpe to come out and say Syracuse sucks, if you're ever standing next to him and he tells you it's raining, you better make sure he's not pissing on your shoe. You can read more here.

Clip of the Week - Secret Weapon

It's Wednesday, and that means only one thing here at T3I - it's clip of the week time. It has become clear that Syracuse head coach Greg Robinson is slightly "challenged" and when you combine that with a huge differential in talent, it leads to the Cardinals being 36 point favorites.

However, fear not Orange faithful, the idiots have a solution to this dilemna, and it's laid out in detail in the clip below - it's the only thing that migh stop Brian Brohm from throwing for 900 yards Saturday.



Bonus clip for you - apparently Jeff the Drunk was tailgating in Syracuse before the SU-Louisville game last year - click here to catch the action.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

We're in good company


College Football News has always been a mainstay in my daily internet rotation. While their weekly rankings of all 1-A teams don't mean much, they do make for some fun reading.

Your Syracuse Orange check in this week at #101 out of 119 1-A teams. A quick glance by this idiot notes that Syracuse is the lowest ranked BCS school.


Other "powerhouses" ranked above us: Arkansas State, Duke, Akron, Florida Atlantic, and UAB.


We have huge upcoming matchups against: Miami, OH (96) and the Battle of the Thruway vs. Buffalo (112).
Fix this Daryl Gross. Make it right.


More Eagles Stuff - Deal With it

I feel like my head is melting today - I really do. Of course, from the quotes in today's paper, Reggie "Digital Clock Hands" Brown feels something a little worse. In talking about last night's loss, Reggie busted out this little nugget of info -

"Hopefully we can get it fixed," wide receiver Reggie Brown said. "We have to get rid of this taste that's in our mouth. It's a rancid, buttermilk, goat cheese, maggot-filled taste, and once we get rid of it, we'll be all right."

Ummm - this may be one of the more disturbing non OJ quotes I've seen in a while. Hopefully God does not want Jon Kitna and the Lions to beat the birds on Sunday, because if he does, I have a feeling Reggie's mouth will have to be quarantined.

Full article is here.

Airing of Grievances - Bad Football is Killing Me


Like most Americans, I've been waiting since January for football to begin. The late run the Yankees are making is great, but it's football season. It is the best time of the year - and so far it's been awful. I feel like I've been repeatedly kicked in the nuts for three straight weeks now and I'm about to explode like OJ looking for his memorabilia. We have chronicled the exploits of the horrific Syracuse team ad nauseum on this moronic blog and Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician did an excellent job describing the state of the program here, so I'll leave that alone for now.

Today I turn my wrath on Andy Reid and the Philadelphia Eagles. When Reid took over in 1999, he turned the franchise around, I give him credit and thank him for that. He's been one of the most successful coaches in franchise history - but right now he's KILLING ME. Reid, while extremely successful, has an Achilles heal that could keep the Eagles from ever winning a Superbowl under his leadership. The problem - other than looking like Grimace dressed in black on game days - is that he's too stubborn.

For YEARS Reid has ignored some glaring fundamental problems that the rest of the free world can see, but he refuses to acknowledge and fix, thinking his "system" can conquer all. They are:


- The failure to commit to the running game. Brian Westbrook is one of the best running backs in the NFL - when McNabb got hurt last year, they ran the ball more and surprise - they won 5 of 6 to get into the playoffs. The run/pass distribution last night against Washington was 46 passes, 20 runs. Westbrook AVERAGED 5.6 yards a carry - yet he only carried the ball 17 times against a Redskin defense that is strong in the secondary but weak up front. That is pathetic. So much for learning from last year.


- The failure to sufficiently upgrade the receiving corps. If you are committed to throwing it twice as much as running it, here's an idea - bring in some guys that can get open and catch the ball! Other than that mental patient TO, he refuses to do so. The guys they've drafted, Na Brown, Billy McMullen, Freddie Mitchell, Todd Pinkston - not exactly what I would refer to as good football players. To top it off, this year they let Donte Stallworth walk - a guy who enjoyed playing in Philly, stretched the field, and scared the hell out of defensive coordinators. He stretched the field and forced teams to roll coverage towards his side. His replacement, Kevin Curtis, is nothing more than a nice slot receiver (who's now making $30 million) - he's not strong enough get off the press coverage, and while fast, defensive backs don't respect his speed the way the did Stallworth. Don't even get me started on Reggie Brown. I've seen better hands on a digital watch.


- The failure to adequately address special teams. Other than Westbrook, for 8 years the return game has been a mess. Here's an idea, instead of wasting 2 years trying to get a skier to become an NFL returner - go out and get someone who did it successfully for 3 or 4 years in college. Reno Mahe was never the answer, and never will be, although this year they screwed things up so bad he actually seems valuable, trust me, he isn't. No team is worried about Reno Mahe breaking a punt return or Correll Buckhalter taking a kick off return to the house

- The failure to draft well. As I noted above, all the receivers they've drafted have been busts, but this past draft is looking like it will leave scars for years. The team needed secondary help in particular. Brian Dawkins, while the heart and soul of the team, is aging rapidly. Sean Considine hasn't proven anything and doesn't scare any receivers coming across the middle. Lito Sheppard is more fragile than fine china. Yet, what does Reid do - he takes a quarterback first (pissing off the guy whose trust he needs most) and then doesn't draft ANY secondary help until the 5th round - even though they are thin back there.

If the Eagles are going to win, Reid has to change, and change quickly. He has a quarterback who's not fully recovered from a knee injury, a beat up secondary, and a play calling philosophy better suited for the arena league. It's all on him this year, and so far he's dropped the ball. 14 weeks left Andy, patience is growing thin.

I'm guessing most people don't care about the plight of the Eagles, but I've been waiting 9 months for this and been subjected to 20 quarters of horrible football so far (college and pro combined), and just couldn't take it any more. If this keeps up, Festivus is going to take a looooong time in my house this year.

Monday, September 17, 2007

God Hates the Vikings


According to Jon Kitna, the reason that he was able to return to the field yesterday AFTER suffering a concussion, was due to the hand of God. Now, I don't have any problems with religion, whatever your personal beliefs, have at it. Worship chipmunks for all I care, but in the name of full disclosure, I really believe that these athletes, when citing God as the reason for athletic prowess, should also state the reasons why God chose them, or their team, to CRUSH THE SOUL of their opponent.


After all, the Lions did win yesterday, thanks in large part to the efforts of one Jon "God loves me more than you" Kitna. So, if God wanted Jonny Boy back out there, he obviously has an axe to grind with the Vikings, and I think he knows why. Kitna needs to give us the details, for all we know, there could be a second love boat incident we don't know about yet. Hell, it could be love plane - but it has to be something.


Kitna is claiming that he feels no lingering effects of the concussion, and that by the 4th quarter, everything had cleared up. In related news, I can neither confirm nor deny that Dr. John Munsell is now the Detroit team doctor, but it wouldn't surprise me.

The Next Mayor of New York


Syracuse football makes my head hurt, so let's all take a deep breath and focus on the good things in life - like hating the Red Sox. If you would have told me at the beginning of the year one of my favorite Yankees would be a guy named "Shelley," I would have made a face like Greg Robinson makes after the opposing team does something he's not expecting -like snap the ball.


Anyway, Mr. Duncan has taken New York by storm, his attitude and power have managed to make the toughest city in the world rally around a guy who has the same first name as the broad that played Diane on Cheers.


So even with a wrist injury, Shelley still delivered - check this out - all I can say is, Mr. Duncan, you are a real man of genius.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

For Recreational Purposes Only





Just for curiousity, I wanted to see what the opening line for next week's game at Louisville opened at.
36 points! Syracuse is a 36 point underdog. The WVU game will be off the board by game day.
We are 5 touchdown-plus underdogs. Amazing.
I miss days like these.




Yes, It’s as bad as you think…

In fact it might be even worse, here’s a few nuggets to chew on, while you peruse the photojournal below:

WVU backup RB Noel Devine rushed for 136 yards on 5 carries vs. the Frightened Turtles on Thursday night…or 40 more rushing yards than SU has amassed all season.

BYU QB Max Hall --- 34-58-537 yards vs. Tulsa last night
Syracuse QB’s --- 46-81-501 yards vs. Washington AND Iowa AND llinois combined.

Middle Tennessee State (you know...the Blue Raiders) scored more points in one half (35) vs. Louisville, than Syracuse has totaled in 3 games (32). The perfect elixir for an ailing Louisville defense comes this Saturday. The perfect elixir for the ailing Syracuse Orange fan can be found here. 32 f@#king points in 3 games!!!…bartender, make that a double.

Lastly, a link over to the Axeman, who unquestionably does a better blog than radio show, there is an Ed Gonser reference in there, and lets be honest, you can never too many of those.

Here I Go Again

Cue the Whitesnake music and Mrs. Chuck Finley dancing on the hood of the GRob-mobile. The GRobb presser, highlights include:

“Obviously, I’m frustrated and I want to keep working and getting better. There were some things in that game that we can still grow from and obviously we’re a team that is a work-in-progress, big time. "

"My job is to focus on getting better and not to worry about this-and-that and things that really aren’t important to me right now. What is important to me is to coach this football team and find out what can I do to help make it better. That’s really what my mind is all about.”

Bring on the UB Bulls!!!!

Silver Out - The Dome Was Rockin'

Growing up in Central NY as an SU fan, there was no greater rivalry than SU-Penn State. I was just a kid, but lucky enough to be in the building in 1987 when Don McPherson lead the cuse to that epic 48-21 victory that announced to a nation that Syracuse football was back. Well last week, our one time rival staged an epic white out of Notre Dame. Give props to Penn State fans, the scene was really amazing. Not to be outdone, yesterday, SU fans staged something similar - a silver out - nearly blinding the Illini who were surrounded by some seriously shiny stands. The announced crowd was 34,166, but if that was the case, there were a lot of people dressed like empty seats.

Alas, the effort didn't work, as the men of Zook crushed the orange, but if you didn't experience the fun (and most people didn't) here's what you missed:

Two minutes before kickoff, don't hold your breath on a late arriving crowd





Coin flip, plenty of good seats available - at midfield




And we're underway, silver from sea to shining sea




At least the students showed up - for the most part



"O"-Zone - feel the excitement



I'm pretty sure this guy was considering jumping - or wondering why he doesn't have any friends





Wait - there's hope...........



Never mind (note -19 minutes elapsed in real time between photos)



Greg Robinson, thinking up some gibberish for the post game presser


It's hard to read, but this guy's shirt says, Git R Done - sadly not even Larry the Cable Guy inspired slogans can help this team



Not exactly abs of steel








The man, the myth, the Zook





The pain finally ends



So there you have it ladies and gentlemen. The atmosphere in the dome yesterday was about the same as it was at my grandfather's funeral. The place was electric - 1860s style electric. I'm sure there will be more ranting about the game, but for now, the pictures speak for themselves. Greg Robinson, making game day truly memorable since 2005.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Boss' Game Prediction:

I know the faithful readers of T3I have been constantly checking in, hoping to get my prediction on the game before they dial up the local bookmaker, so in an attempt to help you cut into your debts here it is....

Remember growing up as a kid in CNY, and how exciting it was to hear the familiar tune that the ice cream man played as he made his way into your neighborhood. Bearing tasty treats like nutty buddies, ice cream sandwiches, and rocket pops, Mister Softee would always put a smile on your face. Apparently selling ice cream didn’t pay the bills, so Mister Softee obtained a job as college football coach. Today, he’ll be handing out treats in CNY such as poor game-planning, inability to make adjustments, and lackluster motivational techniques. While they may not be as tasty as rocket pops--- the University of Illinois couldn’t be more excited to see him. Fighting Zooks 23 Mr. Softee’s men 9

Friday, September 14, 2007

Sequels Often Suck - SU-Illinois Prognostications

As we do every week, T3I proudly bring you our predictions for each and every SU football game. This week the Zooker faces off in a battle of wits against Circle Talk Robinson. Intellectuals haven't seen a match up like this since Harry and Lloyd argued over which way to go in Dumb and Dumber. Without Delay, here our the predictions:

Champ

Sequels come in two varieties, the "wow that was as good if not better than the original" category which would include: The Empire Strikes Back, Godfather II, Die Hard 2, and Rocky's rematch with Clubber Lang. Then there is the "I can't believe I suffered through that" category. Members include: Caddyshack II (blasphemy), Speed 2, any "prequel" Star Wars movie, and Major League: Back to the Minors. Where will Zook-Robinson II fall? Well, 9 out of 10 sleep specialists are prescribing this week's snoozer to those suffering from insomnia. In front of 26,000 (actual) Orange faithful the orange men from Illinois will put away the Orangemen of Syracuse 24-3. The highlight of the game: halfway through the 4th quarter Dome management decides to switch the video boards over to Pitt-Michigan State on ESPN. In his post-game presser, Coach Robinson commends the silent Dome crowd. "Being softer is sometimes better," he remarks. Move over Vince Lombardi.

Russianator

The way I see it, you've got two coaches trying to avoid the Death Blow. The one that loses this game could get blown up and will most likely end up as the Defensive Coordinator for a team in the All American Football League next year. That being said, I think the cuse storms the field in front of a sea of silver, uses the empty building as motivation to..........play like keystone cops and fall all over themselves. Expect 3 huge plays from Juice Williams and no huge plays from the SU offense. Final score 23-6 illini. The cuse scores a late touchdown but Shadle misses the extra point because he was too busy thinking about the bearclaw he was eating on the sidelines.

Boss

Coming soon - apparently Boss is more concerned about earning a living than he is about ranting to no one in particular on the internet for free - the nerve.

PICK A F@*KING COLOR COMBO AND STICK WITH IT!

One of the hallmarks of the Good Doctor's regime has been there are no hallmarks. Everything is subject to change all the time - mostly for the sake of change. Nothing pisses me off more than the bastardization of the uniforms. Originally changed to "respect the past" (cough - because Nike told us to) they have gone through several different versions, ranging from ugly to this monstrosity -

Photo by Frank OrdoƱez/The Post-Standard

Now, according to Donnie Webb, the cuse will be wearing it's THIRD different color combo in THREE games. For the love of God man - stop it. Wearing different laundry doesn't change any of the massive f-ing problems this team has, but it sure as hell pisses me off, and frankly, it dilutes a brand that's already more watered down that the vodka at the VFW where your loser cousin had his wedding reception (we've all been there).

Here's a suggestion - GO BACK TO THESE UNIFORMS!!!!!



It's very simple - blue jerseys and orange pants at home, white jerseys and orange pants on the road. Take those freaking orange jerseys and give them to the local homeless shelter, although if the illini come in and romp, the homeless will be too embarrassed to wear them.

Rant over.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Cuse Bashing


I always thought Chris Fowler was a little smug. And trust me, there is nothing worse in the eyes of T31 than being smug. Courtesy of our friends at Nunes....Chris Fowler ripped off an epic Cuse bash-fest.

Champ NCAA Top 10

Heading in to the weekend, (only an idiot releases their top 10 at the end of the week), here's your Champ Top 10:


1. USC- let's see how this week's "test" with Nebraska plays out.

2. LSU- sorry 'Neers, but that thrashing of an E.O.I. last week moves them up a spot.

3. WVU- they really could score 100 against GRob.

4. Florida- I like them to cover this week vs. the Rocky Toppers

5. Oklahoma- big win versus a down Miami team.

6. Wisconsin- tough one this week vs. Citadel

7. Texas- survived a scare from TCU

8. Cal- vs. La. Tech

9. Lousiville- down from letting MTSU score too many points

10. This Notre Dame, Inc. fan. Great way to get field level seats.

Syracuse Ranked Number 22!


Settle down, it's in punting. While this idiot naively was worried about SU's punting before the season began, it appears like it's the ONLY thing the Orange are doing right.

Even thisis disappointing though, because Long is on pace for 72 punts this year (6 per game) which would leave the freshman phenom 10 punts short of Brendan Carney's 2005 record of 82. Lucky for us, the cuse has a lot of quality opponents left on the schedule, in order to break the record, here are 3 keys that they most focus on:



  1. Limit the turnovers - interceptions and fumbles are just punt opportunities lost

  2. Keep Max Suter under wraps - the freshman has been excellent returning kick offs, averaging nearly 28 yards a return, if he breaks any, or at least gets the team in FG range, that means no punt.

  3. Keep firing the pistol - the pistol formation has given us a grand total of 32 yards rushing all season. Bad running leads to more passing, which leads to more incompletions and longer game, which all leads to more punting.

There you have it cuse fans, we now have something to root for, let's get behind this movement and get Rob Long that record.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

GadZooks - Random Ramblings


Strange things fascinate me. Ron Zook, Kige Ramsey, the dopey lizard in the GEICO commercial, what can I say - I offer no excuses, I'm an idiot. My disappointment over not finding a decent video clip of Zook to post today is lingering, however, to scratch that itch, Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician has dug up some pearls of wisdom from the gray-haired one.

Other things that made me laugh, or at least piqued my curiosity today:

  • Nunes also brings us a game that will further deepen my dependence on alcohol
  • Kige Ramsey doing commercials (read the comments, they are killer)
  • Priest Holmes, even weirder than you'd think a guy named Priest would be (and it's his real name no less)
  • Belichick-gate rages on
  • People arguing over videos posted on-line about 20 year old video games. I mean, I like sports video games as much as the next guy, but when you start arguing over stuff like this, it may be time to go back to playing Dungeons and Dragons
  • The Eagles sign Reno Mahe - an entire fan base yawns in excitement
  • And, the tide is already turning for Fat Charlie Weiss, this should be fun as the season goes on.

Clip of the Week - Win the Game, What a Concept!

It's Wednesday and that means only one thing, it's Clip of the Week time. With Illinois being next up on the SU schedule, I figured there HAD to be some great Ron Zook clips out there. You know, Ron Zook water skiing, Ron Zook on the sideline making a face like he just crapped his pants, Ron Zook drooling, Ron Zook driving slow on the driveway every Saturday - at the very least there had to be some videos of people bitching about or mocking the Zooker, but to my utter dismay, none of that seems to be on the internets right now. If I'm wrong, PLEASE let me know, I'll be happy to post it - and even happier just to see it.

With that being said, this week's clip comes from the immortal Herman Edwards, who has some insight I honestly believe Greg Robinson needs. In this classic clip, Herm talks about why you play football (and I know Herm isn't following his own advice right now, but between the Miracle in the Meadowlands and his epic Hardknocks performance, there's no way I can hate Herm). Take note GRob, to the rest of you, I say - enjoy.

(and I know Illinois is a 12 point favorite this week, at this point Will Ferrell might be a better coach than Robinson, at least he'd be entertaining)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A man walks into a bar....




wearing a Texas Longhorns t-shirt. The rest, well... let's just say it doesn't play well in Oklahoma.

T3I asks all readers, both of you out there, to remember this next time you are trash talking in enemy territory.

Hmmmm - I Wonder Which Coach is More Successful?

Call me crazy, but I think the Navy head coach just miiiiiiiiiight be on to something.

From Dave Rhame's blog today, he offers a link to Navy Head Coach Paul Johnson's Monday press briefing. The long and the short of it, trying harder, not softer, might be the key to a successful football program.

Johnson's career winning percentage - .738
Robinson's career winning percentage - .200

You be the judge.

Exclusive Report on the Patriots Cheating Scandal


The NFL is investigating allegations that Bill "the evil genius" Belichick and his New England Patriots were illegally videotaping the Jets from the sideline, in order to steal their defensive signals. The camera and tape have been shipped off to NFL headquarters, where Roger Goodell is said to be dreaming up what kind of special beat down he can come up with next (and it couldn't happen to a nicer organization).


In an exclusive report, highly placed sources deep within the Patriots organization have provided T3I with the list of defenses the organization is considering when going before the commissioner. This is news you will only get from T3I. The list includes:


  • We were shooting footage for an I love New York's (defensive signals) commercial

  • We didn't have enough cash to buy this book, so we thought we'd learn on our own

  • Since Eric Mangini lost weight, he's too sexy to NOT have on video

  • We were actually taping ourselves, Belichick is the unsuspecting subject of the TV show Cheaters - Joey Greco put us up to it

  • The rumor was out there that Britney Spears was headed to NYC and we were the only people left in America who didn't have a shot of this on video

  • We are actually not guilty, but will plead guilty to make this go away, then after we are convicted, we will fight the conviction. This is commonly known as the Larry Craig defense.