Monday, December 31, 2007

SU-Northeastern Observations - SCOOP


While Boss and I have debated just how badly the loss of Eric Devendorf will hurt the Syracuse basketball team, yesterday Scoop Jardine showed he's a player - and that's good for everyone.


Here are a few quick observations on yesterday's game, as always, Champ and Boss may weigh in as well.


* Obviously Jardine had a huge game, at this point he reminds me a little of Josh Pace, with better ball handling skills. He's shown he's adept at getting in the lane and finishing near the rim, and while right now the jumper doesn't appear too consistent (or pretty) he's not forcing things. He's also a better defender right now than Devendorf ever will be.


* Switching to man to man seemed to bring some new energy and intensity on the defensive end of the floor. With limited players available this season I have no problem with them playing a lot of zone, but it might be time to start out in man to get the energy levels up early.


* The Belgian Waffle hustles his ass off out there - he appears more comfortable every game and isn't afraid to mix it up down low, if he continues to play like he's been playing, he should be required to keep the bad haircut.


* I LOVE the fact that when Donte Greene wasn't getting the ball in the first half he didn't pout, instead he went to the offensive glass. All the tools are there, if he attacks the glass with regularity, watch out.


* 19 points and 15 boards for Paul Harris - that pretty much says it all right there. If this kid was 6'8" he'd be in the NBA right now.

* Matt Janning can shoot the ball, but other than that, it was tough to learn much from this game because frankly Northeastern isn't very good. They are young and play hard, in a year or two they might be able to get something going, but they aren't ready yet.


* Bring on the Big East.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

2007 Idiout Quotes


The Russianator did a nice job earlier this week recapping why 2007 stunk. I couldn't agree more. One thing all three idiots enjoy is hearing celebrities sound dumber than us, and believe me it really takes a helluva effort to sound dumber than the three morons who bring you this blog. Nonetheless, the following athletes and celebrities make us feel like NASA engineers. It doesn't get any better than defending Ron Mexico, comparing football games to 9/11, and spending brief moments in the worlds of Gross and Robinson. To Daryl and Greg, we can't wait for more words of wisdom in '08.


The 2007 T3I Quotes of the Year



"Sam is an idiot -- i-d-o-u-t -- idiot." ~Shaquille O'Neal , commenting on Chicago Tribune columnist Sam Smith.



"O.J.'s probably sitting at home just happy he didn't kill a dog." ~Charles Barkley, commenting on Michael Vick



"I found out from a very close source in Ann Arbor that Les Miles will be named the next head coach at Michigan," ~ ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit



"We need to shake some things up. What it is, I don't know.” ~ Greg Robinson, November 30, 2007



"I couldn't find London on the map if they didn't have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that." ~Channing Crowder, Dolphins linebacker, October 25, 2007



"At the end of the day, notwithstanding whatever personal opinion I have, it was the consensus of the committee that Syracuse wasn't among the 34 best at large teams in the country…While I understand Syracuse's disappointment, also understand that we think we made good decisions. " ~NCAA Tournament Chairman Osama Bin Walters, March 12, 2007



"This is the icing on the gravy." ~Lucas Glover, PGA player from South Carolina, on being in contention at the British Open



“They’re (Rutgers) a one year wonder.” ~ Multi-year wonder Greg Robinson



"I don't know if I could talk to her, because I don't speak English. I speak Southern American, and I don't know if she would understand that or not. (Plus) she wears one of them great big hats. She might outdo me on the hat deal." ~NASCAR legend Richard Petty, when asked what he would say to Queen Elizabeth II if they met at the Kentucky Derby.



"(I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom," ~Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho



"Is that significant, in your opinion?" ~St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa, March 22, 2007 to police after registering a .093 blood-alcohol level at a traffic stop where officers found him asleep behind the wheel, radio blaring.



“We're going to win. Yeah, I can guarantee a win.” ~Steeler Defensive Back Anthony Smith, December 5, 2007


"Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event. It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event." ~Nick Saban, Alabama coach, after a loss to Louisiana-Monroe, Nov. 19.



"I'm playing as well as I have ever played, except for the years I've played better." ~Fred Couples, PGA player.




"It's nice they (Miami) recognize what I have been able to help accomplish and recognize that I work with vision and patience." ~ Doctor Daryl Gross, December 24, 2007



"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us," ~Miss Teen USA contestant Lauren Upton



We don't say anything about people shooting deer or other animals. From what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors." ~Stephon Marbury, Knicks guard, on the Michael Vick indictment, Aug. 23, 2007.



And Champ's pick for the T3I Quote of the Year:



"Everything is magnetized by 10." ~Golden State Warriors forward Al Harrington, on playoff pressure.

Korver Traded - Sixers Web Site Unaware

















Dude, We Were Traded

In ground breaking, earth shattering NBA news, the Philadelphia 76ers traded Ashton Kutcher look a like Kyle Korver to the Utah Jazz for Gordan Giricek. While this is an obvious move by Utah to bring yet another American born white guy to Utah (foreigners don't count in that state apparently) someone might want to tell the Sixers it's time to update their web site, since when you log on, EVERY SINGLE banner ad at the top of the site has a picture of Korver on it.

According to the new Sixers GM Ed Stefanski, the move was done to clear cap space (so they can over pay someone who sucks next summer). For a rational, thought out analysis of the trade, check out CuseAdelphia - and of course, the Sports Hernia weighs in as well, in true Sports Hernia style.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

UCLA gets their man

"$5 a square, they're going fast!"


Every office has their "pool guy." You know the one. He organizes the Super Bowl board, the March Madness pool, and the baby pool of any expecting staff member. We love the guy, because honestly anyone who helps bring gambling into the workplace is ok with us. Good news UCLA employees, you have your man. Experienced NCAA gambler Rick Neuheisel was hired as head football man today.

I've always thought the guy was a little smug. But if you can't build a powerhouse at UCLA, then you shouldn't be coaching. The same could be said for USC during their down years, but there is no reason ANYONE should not be able to build a powerhouse in sunny California. Come to think of it, why did it take Hawaii so long to pull off an undefeated season? What 18yo kid wouldn't be interested in 12 months of tan co-eds, 80 degree days, and plenty of time at the beach?

Good luck Rick, and count me in come March.

Friday, December 28, 2007

2007 Can Kiss Our Asses

2007 - Not Ending Fast Enough


There's no denying it - 2007 flat out blew. It blew goats. It blew more than a hooker dressed as Monica Lewinsky at a Bill Clinton impersonators convention. It blew so bad that three idiots who have scattered to different parts of the country banded together to give you a dopey analysis of the world of sports, and a few people actually paid attention. If this blog isn't an example of how bad things have become, I don't know what proof you need - we're fucking morons people.

Don't believe us that 2007 was awful? Let's look at the proof:

* There was the infamous NCAA Tournament Snub of Syracuse in March.

* Syracuse fans were lucky this year though, the snub was followed by the lacrosse team that had its first losing season in more than 30 years.

* Hey, at least there was football. 2007 was supposed to be the year they turned everything around and if by "turned around" you mean death spiral, then mission accomplished. In fact, we were lucky enough to witness one worst football seasons in school history, culminating in 10 losses (most of them ugly) for only the second time in more than 100 years of playing the sport, and for that, the coach got to keep his job.

* Late fall of 2007 brought us renewed hope in the form of basketball. Except for one thing, Syracuse guards obviously aren't working through their "My Name is Earl" karma lists, because ACLs were ripping like acid washed jeans in the 80s - first Rautins went down in August, then Devo followed. Now, the season is up in the air and a walk on is the back up point guard.

* The idiots are more well rounded than just Syracuse, I happen to be Philadelphia Eagle fan and the year started with the Saints pounding them out of the playoffs and will end with the 2007 version not even making the post season. I'm not sure who had a worse year, Andy Reid or his sons. It was a year the Eagles pissed away - fumbled punts, late drives and missed field goals turned a potential 11 win season into 7 wins to date - and it was all their own fault. Hey, at least Andy can still make cool faces:



* Boss is a huge Pittsburgh Steeler fan and things were rolling along just fine for that team, until Willie Parker broke his leg. They are now relying on this guy to really carry the load the rest of the way.

* Champ is a Raider fan - and honestly, until the old guy in the white jump suit retires, the expectations of that franchise are lower than the collective IQ of the owners of bad newz kennels. On a side note, can you believe Bill Callahan coached this team in a Super Bowl in 2003???? 2003 wasn't that long ago - weird.

* Florida is the national champ in football AND basketball - I don't have anything against the gators, but for the love of God man, enough is enough. The basketball coach looks like Eddie Munster and waffles like a politician and the football coach is named Urban. Does anyone else find this strange? (for the record - both are great coaches).

* In baseball news, mites (or whatever the hell they are called) did what man could not do, they derailed Joba Chamberlain.

* And then Red Sox won the World series again - what a nightmare. On the plus side, at least the rest of the world is now realizing their fans are just as bad as us Yankee fans, so they've got them going for us, which is nice.

* Guys like Ron Mexico, everyone named in the Mitchell Report, Barry Bonds and sadly, news today about Jim Leyritz all brought some form of misery to fans or other people.

* And going back to Syracuse to round out this list, they STILL CAN'T GET THE UNIFORMS RIGHT for any sport. This seemingly simple task is one that continues to dangle out of reach.

Fear not readers of T3I, while we have bravely endured all these hardships, and many others we haven't even mentioned, we really enjoy doing this and don't plan on stopping any time soon. Thanks for stopping by and remember, 2008 has to be better - if it's not, you can bet your ass we will tell you about it.

The Huskies Are Coming

Matt Janning: Looks like he's 16, but he scores 16 a game

Nothing creates a buzz like an appearance in the Carrier Dome by the Huskies. A hated rival, two Hall of Fame coaches squaring off, an OBNOXIOUS rival fan base (these people are unbearable at the Big East Tournament) and a great game are in store for Syracuse fans..........on February 6th. On Sunday, none of those things will happen, but Northeastern Huskies are visiting anyway.

Here are a few things you should know about Huskies (other than they need a more original name, every other friggin team in the country seems to be called the Huskies - enough already).

Conference: The Colonial Athletic (the home of George Mason, VCU, and that pesky Drexel team we all remember from last year)

Record: 4-6

The Good News: The Huskies are ranked 11th in the nation

The Bad News: 11th in college hockey

Leading Scorer: Matt Janning. Janning is averaging 16.4 points per game

Common Opponents: Syracuse and Northeastern do have one thing in common, they both lost to Rhode Island. The Huskies got pasted 92-72 in their worst loss of the season and the Orange infamously gave up 107 points to the Rams in a loss earlier this year.

Interesting Facts/Idiotic Analysis: Other than the Rhode Island loss, Northeastern has been pesky this year, losing by only 2 to BC, losing by 9 to UConn and losing by 2 to Maryland. In addition, they are road tested, having played only 2 homes and 8 on the road, and 8 of their 10 games have been decided by 9 points or less.

Coached by former BC assistant and Hamilton College graduate Bill Coen, the team plays hard and won't roll over simply because they are playing against a Big East foe. On paper this is a team that SU should handle, but as we've seen in the past, nothing is a given and you have to be worried about the mind frame that the extremely young Orange will be in after returning from their respective homes for the Holiday break.

Prediction: I see SU and Northeastern playing a close game in the first half, with Boeheim peeling the paint off the locker room walls at half time and Syracuse pulling away at the end for 15 point victory - call it 81-66.

Bonus predictions: Paul Harris is screamed at 17 times, the Belgian Waffle dives for loose balls 7 times, Donte Green attempts 8 three pointers and Jonny Flynn does something you haven't seen before.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

R.I.P. Stu

Sad news today as long-time sportscaster Stu Nahan passed away at the age of 81. Along with a guest spot on Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Stu is best known for his work in the Rocky series. Working with partner Bill Baldwin, Stu called Rocky's title fights vs. Apollo Creed and Clubber Lang.

In Rocky IV, Stu teamed up with Warner "Let's Go to the Videotape" Wolfe to call Ivan Drago's massacre of Apollo Creed. I was disapointed when Stu didn't get the call to go to Moscow to announce Balboa-Drago. Honestly, Barry Tompkins and Al Bandeiro did that fight no justice.

Farewell Stu:

Bowling Season

"It's the most wonderful time of the year..." or so the old ESPN commercial told us. Bowl season is in full swing, and for college football idiots like ourselves the next few days offer an all-you-can watch buffet. While we at T3I officially endorse the idea of a college football playoff, I do enjoy sitting down to watch just about every one of these bowl games.

Last night's Motor City Bowl was a good one. There was more excitement packed into that game than the entire Greg Robinson era. Dave Pash and Andre Ware were in post-season form last night breaking off the standard cliche's. For those of you keeping score at home, here's what to look and listen for in bowl game broadcasts:

* "remember the clock stops on first downs in college football" (note: you may also hear the related "one foot inbounds" reference as well)

* name dropping by announcers on hanging out with the teams during the week's activities

* the awkward pre-game spot by the lead sponsor's VP of Marketing welcoming everyone to tonight's bowl game, personally I love hearing how much R&L Carriers love college athletics

* the standard "this is why bowls are good for college football" combined with the screen shot of the winning team celebrating on the sideline

* "the extra month of practice really helps a program".....REALLY? I had no idea that more practice is a good thing

* "they are making a statement for next year"

* the "I just don't get the BCS" line from the color-man. You know what else I don't get....shopping carts with one bad wheel.

Enjoy the bowl season kids.

Part of this Will Only Interest Me

While T3I will post about almost anything, our shared passion is Syracuse University sports, so that takes up a good deal of our time and space here. In terms of professional sports we all diverge greatly, which leads to a lot of good natured arguing and insulting of each other. I happen to be a Philadelphia Eagle and Sixer fan (due to some family ties to the area and the fact that I was an impressionable young kid when I used to visit) - so thanks to TNIAAM yesterday I discovered a new blog that will focus on Syracuse and Philadelphia sports - CuseAdelphia. If either of those two subjects interests you, check them out, they're off to a very good start.

We're Back Baby

With the fun filled holiday's officially behind us [sarcasm alert] and the only thing left in 2007 being "drink like you're still in college" New Year's Eve events, it's time to get caught up. So, like a Phoenix rising from Arizona, the Idiots are back ba-by.

In Syracuse related news:

* Devin Brennan McBride appears to be finished as a player at SU, and maybe done with basketball due to chronic shoulder issues. While you obviously feel for a kid who due to injury never really got a shot, you can't honestly be surprised that a Canadian guy with 3 names didn't become a basketball superstar.....the odds were not in his favor. It's also odd that a shoulder injury is what has caused him all these problems, a shoulder injury in football makes perfect sense, in basketball, it's more rare. Maybe he was hanging out with Steve Sparks.

* Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician tells us Daryl Gross is doing a fine job - just ask him.

* This just in, Jonny Flynn is good. Stories like this are the definition of slow news day - and while I love Flynn and think Mike Waters does a great job of covering the team, if you needed that article to tell you Mr. Flynn is the real deal, you haven't watched any SU games this year.

* The Axeman reports that there's a chance Coach P could be headed to Miami. Like many fans we were all ready for P to leave, after 3 years of G-Rob I almost get nostalgic about the man, so good luck P wherever you may land. Also, I hope you sent Greg a Christmas card this year, he's done more to bolster your coaching legacy in the last 3 years than you ever could have done had you remained.

* Eric Devendorf can't catch a break, in addition to being out for the year with a torn ACL, he's been named to "The Big East All Ugly Team." According to the author of the blog, it was "tougher than past seasons." As people who also make dumb lists (The LVP Watch, The Idiot Report, Etc) we aren't going to wade into this one, we'll let you be the judge.

Around the World of College Sports

* Speaking of ugly, Eddie Sutton is coming back to coach the University of San Francisco. Sutton is one of those unique characters that is now revered for simply having been around a long, long time. It's amazing how when a guy gets old, people tend to forget about all the crap he's gotten away with over the years. This latest coaching stint amounts to a selfish ploy to get to 800 wins. Rest assured Eddie, no one cares if you tack on a few meaningless wins and we haven't forgotten about your past, the probation that nearly gave Kentucky the death penalty (an assistant mailed Chris Mills' father CASH), the DUI that ended your career, and all your other shenanigans that people tend to forget about. Can't Stop the Bleeding chimes in as well.

* Looking for a few decent college hoop games to watch over the next few days? College Fast Break has your answers.

* Catch up on your Big East News and Notes here.

In Steroid News

* Unless you're dead you know that Roger Clemens is going on 60 minutes. I can't speak for my other two collaborators here, but while I love Roger, the facts don't exactly stack up in his favor. Overweight power pitchers don't get better with age, as Roger did. I know in America people are innocent until proven guilty, but we all know Barry Bonds did steroids and if you look at the stats, it sure as hell looks like Roger did as well. It may not be fair to either of them, but blame Bud Selig for being asleep and the player's union for being pigs and ignoring this issue for too long.

In Throw Your Coach Under the Bus News

* Bleeding Green Nation found this nice little column, printed on Christmas Day, where Sheldon Brown basically said the Eagles blew this season because the coaches were too tight and that trickled down to the players. What sucks the most about the whole thing is Brown is easily the best corner on the team (Lito Sheppard is ALWAYS hurt). Ah, the fun things that happen when a once good team falls apart.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Is Miami Gross?

Some interesting news breaking over this Holiday weekend - apparently the University of Miami - commonly known as "the U" to many an athlete who attended but did not graduate from there - is considering Daryl Gross for its vacant athletic director position.

While we couldn't possibly speculate as to why (good luck selling court side seats down there Daryl) - in addition to the excellent take by TNIAAM above, what limited information that is available on the situation is here and here.

On a programming note, we probably won't have much up for the next few days, but later in the week we'll try and catch up - Christmas on a Tuesday, welcome to a logistical pain in the ass if you don't live in the town where you grew up. Enjoy the Holidays everyone.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Raging Bullz Take Notes

While the Syracuse Raging Bullz have come and gone, the clip below contains some helpful marketing advice for the next minor league team to come through town - Will Ferrell knows minor league hoops (sorry for the partial made nudity, but it's what the man does best).


Thursday, December 20, 2007

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

How are things at the North Pole? The weather can't be as bad as Central New York. I know it's late Santa, however I'm hoping you'll get this in time to know what I'd really like for Christmas this year.

Before I begin, I want you to know I've been a good boy this year. I renewed my Syracuse football season tickets in the spring and suffered through another tough season. Santa, noon games are really tough to tailgate for, but my crew managed to do it. So Santa, here's what I'm wishing for in 2008:

* a .500 or better record for the SU football team

* an NCAA tournament appearance for the hoops squad

* a Donte Green press conference announcing his return to SU for the 2008-09 season

* a 27th World Championship for the Yankees

* an Emmy award for the new American Gladiators, please Santa don't let this show stink

* the return of Tony Kornheiser to national radio

* the winning numbers for a Mega Millions drawing

* a late night talk show for Kige Ramsey

* new legislation outlawing the broadcast of poker on television

* a return of the McNabb era uniforms for the football team

* the disappearance of the duct tape uniforms the hoops team wears

* Mike Tranghese's resignation

* an agreement between Time Warner and the NFL: we'll show the NFL Network if you give us Sunday Ticket

* weekly Jim Mora Sr. press conferences during the NFL season, I don't care if he's not coaching, just give us the pressers

* a last second, Scott Norwood-esque defeat for the then undefeated Patriots in the Super Bowl--- now that would be funny

* a healthy Andy Rautins and Devo

* more get togethers with my fellow Idiots: Boss and Russianator

* Ed: The Complete Series DVD, get the elves on this Santa, please

* an eviction notice to Notre Dame from the Big East

Thank you Santa. I'll leave you some Dinosaur BBQ on Christmas Eve.

Sincerely,

Champ

Thursday Reading

News is a little slow at Idiot Headquarters today, so do enjoy the fine work of others:

* Did you know Tuna can waddle - the Big Lead does.

* Exciting football recruiting news from our friends over at cuse scoops.

* Keep a close eye on your kids around unicyclists.

* Skip Bayless, in addition to being a jackass, has facial expressions that are almost limitless.

* An in-depth look at ESPN's Chris Mortensen and his reporting (2nd item).

* Nunes and Orange 44 chit chat about the Orange.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Move over Mitchell, here comes the Idiot Report


The big news last week was the "naming of the names" in the Mitchell Report. T3I has already reviewed the athletes who should have been on steroids. Implicated by Senator Mitchell were both the greatest hitter and pitcher of our generation. Who then can our youth turn to cheer for when all of their heroes are alleged dopers and cheaters? Fear not T3I has the answers.




Today, we officially unveil the Idiot Report as we name the names of our Anti-Steroid Hall of Fame. As one of our many public services, we have compiled a list of those in the world of sports you can be certain are not involved in the use of illegal steroids. Peformance enhancing? No way. Cholesterol enhancing? Quite possibly.


Compelling evidence has shown the following athletes have tested positive for HGH (Hardees, gravy, and Hostess). In addition we have discovered numerous cancelled checks paid to the order of Krispy Kreme, Pizza Hut, and Red Robin. Ladies and Gentleman, the Idiot Report.


Pat Shadle, Syracuse University


Let's be honest, this photo does this man no justice. The official SU roster has Pat listed as 5-8, 201 lbs. I would never doubt what the athletic department tells us, but we're not buying the two-bills count.

Mark Mangino, KU Head Coach

T31 loves Coach Mangino. The big man is large and in charge. Also, he was named Walter Camp and AP Coach of the year. Coming to a club on South Beach soon.



David Wells, MLB
Another favorite of T3I. We bet the only weights Boomer lifts are of the 12-ounce variety.


John Kruk, Phillies

Bonus points for the mullet.

John Daly, PGA Tour
PTI toss up: 382, John Daly's longest drive, or his cholesterol level?



Fernando Valenzuela, LA Dodgers

It looks like retirement has been very, very good to Fernando.

Billy Paultz, Utah Jazz
Anyone nicknamed "The Whopper" is cool in our book.

Cecil Fielder, AL Slugger

Cec-daddy really rocked the pinstripe look. Son Prince is sure to follow Dad on this list one day.



Terry Forster, Fat Tub of Goo

Those aren't our words, they're Dave Letterman's.

Others receiving votes: Rick Reuschel, Romeo Crennel, Retired Patrick Ewing, TNT Charles Barkely, Robert Tractor Traylor, Sal Fassano

Watch out 14ers, the Mad Ants are Coming


The news that Syracuse product Demtris Nichols has been assigned to the Iowa Energy of the NBDL made me do something I thought I'd never do - I went to the NBDL web site. It was a scary trip, and one I know you're not going to make yourself, so remember that the next time you ask what T3I have done for our readers.

Anyway, the reason I went there was to see if the rest of the team names were as bad as "The Iowa Energy" and the "LA D-Fenders." I figured there couldn't possibly be any worse names but boy oh boy, was I wrong. The only possible explanation is that Corky from Life Goes On is now the Assistant Commissioner in charge of team names or Isiah Thomas did it, either way, it's a bevy of retarded goodness.

Currently there are 14 teams in the NBDL, almost all of them have bad names. Luckily, the idiots are here to help.

Colorado 14ers - A favorite of the Sports Hernia - who, in a comment left last week, had this to say about NBDL names in general and the 14ers specifically: "Holy crap, who is in charge of the team names? Fucking Beetlejuice? I also enjoy the "Colorado 14ers." Just flows off the tongue like a Dr. J finger roll." Not much to argue with there.

Dakota Wizards - A fairly sane name - I guess they figured that anything too crazy might keep even more people in their homes when temperatures drop to minus 20 in the Dakotas. If they ever make a change, the only acceptable option is he Dakota Woodchippers.

Albuquerque Thunderbirds - Not an awful name, but since this basically rips off classic Ford automobile and this is an NBDL team, I'm thinking the Albuquerque Escorts might be a better name...uhhhhhh we better just move on.

Idaho Stampede - The Idaho Vandals - that's a good a name - the stampede, not so much. At the very least they should kick it up a notch and call themselves the Idaho Human Stampede - that's at least got an edge to it.

Rio Grande Valley Vipers - Valley Vipers - that's just f-ing retarded. You don't need a geographic adjective to describe a deadly snake. Vipers aren't people, they aren't dividing themselves up by region and then using that region to describe themselves. The Rio Grande Valley Border Jumpers has a much better ring to it.

Sioux Falls Skyforce - What is a Skyforce and why are they in South Dakota? How many minor league teams do the Dakotas need anyway? One is more than enough, they should just be disbanded - something tells me the NBDL players aren't exactly thrilled about being sent to the Dakotas anyway.

Fort Wayne Mad Ants - The Fort Wayne Pistons were an ORIGINAL NBA team and this is how you repay the people of Fort Wayne? The Mad Ants? I guess the Angry Centipedes were already taken. The Fort Wayne team is affiliated with the Detroit Pistons (where the team eventually moved) so I don't know - maybe you'd like to honor the past and become.........the Fort Wayne Pistons? Life isn't that hard people.

Los Angeles D-Fenders - This is as lazy and dumb as you can get. What does this honor - LA's long tradition of defense? The LA auto industry? You want a good name for an LA team - how about the LA Starving Actors? That's catchy.

Anaheim Arsenal - This sounds like a team that should be playing in the English Premier League. In keeping with LA tradition, they should be renamed the Los Angeles Arsenal of Anaheim.

Utah Flash - The Flash sucked as a superhero. The Utah Batmen is far more appropriate - besides, Utah seems like a place that has a lot of bats.

Tulsa 66ers - Memo to the world: Just because the Philadelphia 76ers can get away with name that's a number with an "ers" after it, this does not make it OK, nor should it be construed as an invitation for you to try your own variation. I've got no alternative name here, I highly doubt the people of Tulsa will care.

Austin Toros -This actually isn't that bad - Corky has to be right once in a while.

Bakersfield Jam - The former team of the beloved Gerry McNamara, while he only played one season there, they should honor Gerry and rename the team the Bakersfield McNamaras.

Iowa Energy - I blame the Miami Heat. Somehow they made it acceptable for words like Heat and Energy to become team names. Look, corn is big in Iowa, they are using corn to make ethanol, an alternative fuel source, so at least get creative - the Iowa Ethanol at least has a little flair.

SU-Colgate Observations

Syracuse flattened Colgate last night, full coverage from the Post Standard is available here. Basically, the Axeman nailed it on the head, there wasn't much you could learn from watching these two teams square off. While experienced, Colgate doesn't have, and never will have, the athletes needed to hang with Syracuse and that was evident again last night.

Here are a few of my observations, Champ and Boss may chime in with some later, but for now, you are stuck with me.

* Last night Jonny Flynn tried to force things a little more than we've seen in the past. One of the things I've liked about his game is how he takes what the defense gives him and last night that wasn't always the case. I don't see this as a cause for concern, you can chalk it up to a freshman knowing he could get by the defense at will and trying a little too hard to take advantage.

* I think the thing I like most about Arinze Onuaku are his soft hands. After four years of watching Mookie and T-Rob mangle half the passes that were attempted to them, it's great to see a big man catch everything in sight. He played another very solid game, although Colgate couldn't offer much of a defensive presence in the post. It will be interesting to see how he does in Big East play, but right now I'm optimistic.

* Speaking of big men, Rick Jackson passes the ball very well for a big man, especially a freshman and he's very good in the high post. The only thing that will hamper him as the season progresses is a lack of strength - the stronger he gets, the better he will get - because the basketball skills are there already.

* And speaking of strength - Sean Williams got his first game action last night, and the wingspan is as big as was promised. The kid can block shots without jumping, and probably tie his shoes without bending over. It's too bad he couldn't redshirt because I've seen bigger biceps on a supermodel. He's definitely a project, especially on the offensive end, I wouldn't expect much from him in conference play - other than a couple of blocks and five fouls per game if he's pressed into action. In a couple of years he could cause all sorts havoc on opposing teams defensively. He reminds of a rougher version Samuel Dalembert.

* I thought the zone was more active with Scoop Jardine in the starting line up - he gives more defensive effort and energy than Devo (can't argue with that part Boss). He was active out on the floor, which is exactly what he needs to bring every night. Offensively the jury is still out, but at least we know the kid will be out there busting his ass and hustling, which is a good thing.

* I'm glad to see Kristof Ongenaet settling down out there. He certainly hustles, even if he does look a bit lost at times. Maybe I've watched too much Seinfeld, but he still seems to a bit of a misfit with this team, right now he seems a bit like vegetable lasagna.

* Watch Donte Greene closely and appreciate what he does on the floor, he's not going to be around very long.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The LVP Watch

Shaun Alexander, helping his team the only way he knows how, by sitting on the bench


The NFL season is winding down and it's been a successful year for guys who suck - but the good news is that we are close to the finish line and week in, week out, guys are still turning in terrible performances. Or in the case of Donovan McNabb, uneven performances that spark more debate and rancor in Philadelphia than debates over abortion - but I digress.

Let's get to weekly LVP Watch.

1. Shaun Alexander - Running back, Seattle Seahawks. He sucks and if the Seahawks had a better back, they wouldn't do things like lose to a crappy Panthers team. Against the Carolina Panthers Shaun racked up 17 yards on 7 carries, which is pretty bad. It becomes awful when you consider the fact that he had 20 yards on one carry, and minus 4 yards on the other 6. Seattle, you have a problem. For the season Alexander has 612 yards on 183 carries, for an average of 3.3 yards per carry. He's also 30 years old, which is 100 in running back years.

2. Jeavon Kearse - Defensive End, Philadelphia Eagles. Once known as the Freak, the only freakish thing about Kearse this year is his ability to cash huge paychecks without producing on the field. For the season, Kearse has 3.5 sacks. Not bad for guy who signed a $66 million contact with the Eagles. He was a healthy scratch this week and the Eagles held the Cowboys to 6 points with him not setting foot on the field. Kearse has avoided the list all season, but that's only because I'm an idiot.

3. Kyle Boller - Quarterback, Baltimore Ravens - Boller did nothing to convince anyone he'll be a full time starter in the league last week, and while I'm not a Raven fan, I have to think the people who do like this thoroughly miserable groups of players were happy to see Troy Smith on the field after Boller suffered a concussion on Sunday. Don't worry Raven fans, your time with Kyle INT should be coming to an end soon.

4. Warren Sapp - Defensive Tackle, Oakland Raiders. Big mouth, small production. Sapp was a great player for a lot of years, but his time is up. He's totaled 2 sacks this year, and more importantly, the Raider defense, which was surprisingly good last year, has been awful this year, ranking next to last in rushing yards allowed. The only good news is that with the Raiders being terrible, no one has paid attention to Sapp or his antics - take notes Chad Johnson.

5. Jamaine Winborne - Defensive Back, Baltimore Ravens. Someone named Greg Camarillo caught a pass from Cleo Lemon (this was an actual NFL game, I swear) and ran away from you for a 64 yard score. Mr. Winborne, he ran by you like you were standing still. You can't let that happen with the Dolphins were on pace for the reverse perfect season. Welcome to the LVP Watch.

Less Ringing in the Ears, Safer Knees

There are few things rattling around the sports world today that you should know about, and I need to mock, so let's get right to it:

* Memo to Roy Williams - if the NFL creates a new rule to SPECIFICALLY OUTLAW the way you tackle people, and you continue to tackle people this way - don't act too shocked about the suspension.

* Duke Vitale will be out until at least February, and while I don't share these sentiments, I really liked the picture. Don't worry college basketball fans, you've still got Mike Patrick to shill for the ACC. The world sports world would be a better place with more guys like Jimmy Dykes and Jay Bilas and less guys like Duke Vitale and Billy Douchepacker. Anyway, we don't wish death on Dukie V - get well soon, and retire immediately thereafter.

* A-Rod and Scott Boras have broken up - no word yet on who gets the strippers, but let's hope they settle that amicably - for the sake of the working ladies. As an aside, are there 2 people more universally despised than these two? How did this go so wrong?

* This story has been splashed all over the NY tabloids for a couple of days, a broadcaster that allegedly tried to get in Rich Eisen's pants a while back had a little run in with a female cop in the NYC this weekend, and let's just say, it's not playing out well.

* And finally, it's college football awards season.

All Hands on Deck


It's a big day of news in the world of Syracuse basketball. Mike Waters reports that Freshman Center Sean Williams will not redshirt, and confirms that Josh Wright is gone from the team for good. In regards to Wright, that basically confirms what I heard a few days ago, that Josh just didn't show up for practice all week and never bothered to tell anyone. According to Boeheim, apparently he didn't even take his finals.....

Axe ponders life after devo, saying Paul Harris at the 2 "gives him the willies."

Cuse Country sees the silver lining of the Devendorf injury, and it's a view I believe Boss will endorse.

Before the season began (but after the mid summer loss of Rautins), the depth chart projected out something like this:


Center - Arinze, Rick Jackson, Sean Williams (redshirt)
PF - Donte Greene, Kristof Ongenaet, Devin Brennan McBride
SF - Paul Harris, KO
SG - Eric Devendorf, Scoop Jardine
PG - Jonny Flynn, Josh Wright

Now it's basically:

Center - Arinze, Sean Williams
PF - Rick Jackson, KO
SF - Donte Greene, random walk on, Fred the Janitor
SG - Paul Harris, Scoop Jardine
PG - Jonny Flynn, walk on Justin Thomas, Otto the Orange

Keys to Making this Work

Zone, Zone and More Zone. Obviously, with 8 scholarship players, one of which (Sean Williams) barely played in high school, avoiding foul trouble is paramount, and that means one thing - a whole lot of 2-3 zone. While I personally was getting tired of the damn thing, everyone with half a brain has to agree that now it's the only way to go. It allows you to keep your players on the floor, keep your big men out of foul trouble and keep your starters on the floor. It also allows guys to get a little rest from time to time, all of which will be desperately needed.

Cleaning the Glass. Regardless of whether Jackson or Jardine steps into the starting lineup, Paul Harris is going to see extended minutes at the 2, and that means he'll be at the top of the zone. On paper, you wouldn't expect a rebounding drop off from moving a 6'3" from the baseline and bringing in a 6'9" guy to take his place - but that very well could happen. Whoever is in the game must commit to crashing the boards, because Paul is going to have a harder time tracking down the rock from the top of the key. Guys aren't going to be able to stand around and watch Harris destroy people on his way to the ball.

Avoid the Chills. Devo has a streaky jumper, but when it was on, he was dangerous from just about anywhere and forced teams go guard Syracuse 20 feet from the hoop. Jardine, Harris and Jackson aren't about to do Larry Bird imitations anytime soon, meaning that Greene and Flynn have to avoid prolonged shoot slumps from the perimeter. If there are days when they are both cold, those games are going to be tough to watch. Right now, they are the only two guys on the team the opposition has to respect from beyond the arc.

Run, Run, Run. Not necessarily during games, but in practice - the starters better be in shape, because they're not coming out of the game.

Feed the Beasts. Both Arinze and Jackson have shown they can score down low - it's time to pound the rock to both of the big fellas. There are going to be games where, if both guys get going, SU can over power the opposition down low. With Devo gone, that means there are more shots to go around, these two guys should get them.

The latest incarnation of the Syracuse Orange takes the floor tonight, it should be interesting to see how they respond.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Devo redux

Boss and the Russianator have offered up their respective opinions on the Devo injury. Unfortunately this debate has been much more civil. I prefer listening to my two fellow idiots shouting at each other in a noisy bar with their favorite legal beverage in hand.

P-S blogger Donna Ditota noted that the injury to 8 Mile may result in playing time for walk-on Justin "JT" Thomas. Mike Watters informs us that it looks good for a Devo medical redshirt.

The Russianator points out just how thin the injury to Devo leaves us in the backcourt. Expect an extra Scoop of Jardine in the rotation with a dash of JT.

I am no fan of his overboard trash-talking. However there were times last season when the only fire on that team came from him. Get well Eric, and when is that new album coming out?

Tony Romo Can't Handle Nick Lachey's Seconds


As you can tell by the constant bitching, in addition to my love for SU, I happen to be a Philadelphia Eagle fan. This has lead to some spirited debates (translation: drunk arguing in the bar) with Boss who is a Steeler fan, over pro football. Since the Steelers have won 5 Super Bowls and the Eagles have won zero, I don't have a ton of ammo in those debates.

Anyway, since I seem to devote a good amount of space to Eagles losses, and very little space to Eagles victories, it's time to even things out. As I prepared an epic post, filled with lyrical prose, deft analogies, and deep insight into the Eagles win last night over the Cowboys, I decided to stumble over to the the 700 Level for their take on the game, and wouldn't you know - as always, its better than anything I can come up with.


Click here to learn all about how Jessica Simpson is the latest female to distract Tony Romo - and to stare at Jessica Simpson - you perverts.


Photo - AP - via Yahoo.

Where Do We Go From Here?

While Boss and I disagree over exactly what the Eric Devendorf injury means to the Syracuse basketball team, the harsh reality is that life goes on. For team that lacks depth and experience, losing a junior who is your second leading scorer and has more game experience than anyone on the roster is going to make this season a difficult, uphill battle.

In this idiot's opinion, the best move would be to start Rick Jackson at the 4 and move Paul Harris to shooting guard. You'd have a huge front line of Arinze at the 5, Jackson at the 4, Greene at the 3, and a backcourt of Harris and Flynn. While Paul doesn't shoot it well, Greene and Flynn both have unlimited range, and Jackson has shown a great feel around the rim and more polish to his game than you could hope for.

This also allows them to have one guard in Jardine, and one forward, the Belgian kid, on the bench. Each guy can play a couple of positions, so Boeheim would maintain some flexibility there.

Smaller quicker teams will give that lineup fits, but if your front line is 6'9", 6'9", and 6'11" and you have a rebounding machine as a 2 guard, in theory they can beat teams to death on the glass. While neither Jackson or AO is a true shot blocker, getting shots off over that lineup would be no small task either.

Injury or foul trouble to Flynn at this point would be absolutely devastating, as he's the last scholarship point guard on the roster, and I don't know about you, but the thought of Jardine having to play extended minutes at the point in a close Big East game scares me to death. In a year or two, I can live with that, now.....eh.....

Saddle up cuse fans, what promised to be an interesting season is about to get even more unpredictable.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

As it says in our title block

A million opinions. And so it is that I offer up a dissenting view on the Eric Devendorf injury. Please do not misunderstand me here, I am not happy that Devo's season is over after Saturday's injury, however I'm not exactly upset about it either. Losing Rautins, that was more of a devastating blow to this team and this season's hopes, and yes, that was frustrating as a fan. To put it bluntly, its a shame that it took a season-ending injury to accomplish what the coaching staff hasn't had the balls to do in 3 years with Devo --- reign the kid and his cockiness in for the benefit of the team as a whole. I wish Eric a successful recovery and hope to see him on the court again next year -- playing team basketball and giving maximum effort, while keeping his trap closed. And while I'm not tossing the towel in on this season by any means, at least now Boeheim has to play the bench - and that will pay off in the years to come. As for this year, Jonny, the backcourt stage is yours to operate and this is one Idiot who is going to enjoy the shows.

Devastating

Its as bad as we feared - Eric Devendorf has a torn ACL. The injuries are really piling up, Rautins, Brennan McBride and now Devendorf. Hopefully his knee will heal and he can make a full recovery, get well devo. The remaining healthy guys better work on their conditioning, they are going to see a lot of minutes.

Beat the Buckeyes and they'll burn couches too!

A head coach is leaving West Virgina to coach the Michigan Wolverines. Sound familiar? WVU fans have been down this road before with John Beilein. ESPN.com is reporting that Coach Rodriguez is the next head coach of the Michigan Wolverines.

For UM I think this is a great hire. Coach Rodriguez built WVU into a national power with his spread option offense. The traditionally "slow" Big10 will seen an influx of speed now that RRod joins The Zook.

For WVU fans this has to hurt, especially after last year's Alabama drama.

As a Cuse fan, I wish Coach Rodriguez all the best. I'm appreciative of how he single-handily saved the Big East's BCS tie-in with his Sugar Bowl win over Georgia. At the time, the conference's BCS status was on life-support.

A few tips Coach:

1. Beat Ohio State
2. Beat 1-AA teams
3. Get the couch out of your house in Morgantown
4. Ask Coach Beilein what moving company he used.

Good luck Rich.

Josh Wright Can't Even Quit Properly


Earlier this year, I wrote that Josh Wright was a key to Syracuse's success this year. I believed it then, I believe it now. Which makes yesterday's news that Wright hasn't practiced all week and wasn't with the team disturbing, and detrimental to a team that is already lacking depth.


I'm not going to pretend I know what's going on with him, if he's having personal issues or something is going on in his life that he needs time to take care of, I hope he can get that straightened out. However, when players have gone through situations like that in the past (like Billy Edelin) Boeheim has gone to great lengths to defend the player and protect that player's privacy. That doesn't appear to be the case in this situation, given the coach's quote when asked about Wright:


Point guard Josh Wright, who has been a vacillating presence during the entire early season, did not practice last week. "So I assume," Boeheim said, "he's not going to play basketball any more this year."


That tells me Wright has walked out and hasn't really discussed it in depth with the coach. Quitting is such a chickenshit way out of any situation. Never mind the fans and idiotic bloggers who follow the program, he has a bunch of guys on this team that were depending on him and he let them down. To me that shows a real lack of character.


It's not the first time he's gone missing either - from the NCAA tournament game against Vermont, to various games this year (starting with the exhibition games) Wright has made a career of "going missing." Look, if you're not happy, examine your options and go elsewhere. In a conference like the America East or the MAAC, Wright could have picked a school played significant minutes, probably with a good deal of success. By coming back for his senior year and then quitting, he let his teammates down AND burned his last year of eligibility playing competitive basketball. So by being selfish, he basically screwed himself.


At least in this respect, I give Louie McCroskey credit, he obviously had a lot of problems with Boeheim, but he gutted it out, stayed for the year and was there for his team, then he left for a situation that was better for him.


The irony of the whole situation is that with the Devendorf injury, Wright would now be in line to play major minutes. At this point, I don't even think I want him back, because I hate the fact that they would be rewarding someone who holds his team and his coach hostage for personal reasons. I'd rather see a walk on who busts his ass in practice every day get some minutes, even if it means ultimately the team isn't quite as good.

The Worst 50 Point Win Ever?

Dennis Nett/the Post-Standard


This Idiot didn't see the SU game last night, because while I only live a couple of hours away, the game wasn't on TV here. Anyway, while they won 125-75 (did we travel back to the late 80s and not tell anyone?) obviously the huge concern is Eric Devendorf's knee injury.

I'm not a doctor and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but when the words "knee" and "I felt it" are said - that's not good. While we are all hoping for the best, the pessimist in me is dreading the news.

As they are presently constituted, this team is young and lacking depth, but extremely talented. If they can put the pieces together and make a commitment to defense, the sky is the limit. Without Devendorf, that ceiling on what they can accomplish this year has been lowered considerably. They will go from a team that has final four talent (I'm not saying they are going to the final four, but talent wise that would be the absolute ceiling) to a team that will struggle to make the NCAA tournament.

In a matter of a few days, the best player on the football team potentially could be an important cog in trying to save this season - and that's not good for anyone.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Idiotic poetry




‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the Cuse,
This idiot was getting his tickets to see
Bruce

Grob had hired his new OC with great care,
As Mike Williams longs for more passes in the air

Fans of Orange football dream of next year,
While reminders of ’07 caused them great fear

Retaining the coach has led DGross to surmise,
That once again he’s pulled the wool o’er our eyes

Our hopes for the hoops team are very immense,
One problem so far, they don’t play defense

Away to the dome 30K will pack right in
To watch the men of Orange fight out a win

And the Big East season will soon be a go,
We’d better start hitting the glass…this I do know,

We hope in March that our name does appear,
On the list of 65 that are in the clear

Meanwhile the Chiefs are ripping up their turf,
And maybe this year they’ll get within 20 games of first

The Chiefs contending is too much to ask,
To suffer through a game, first grab my flask

“Go Harris, go Greene, go Flynn and go Scoop,
Devo, Arinze, and Jackson go attack the hoop!

To the Huskies of Storz and the Hoyas from DC
You are the definition of our enemy

Our Canadian guard did blow out his knee
Oh Andy how we miss your buckets of three,

Here’s hoping we get ESPN games with Raff
His barbs with Bilas are worth a good laugh

And let’s not forget the Bullz that did rage,
Nowhere to be found on my sports page,


Young Steinbrenner brought Alex back in the fold,
While a deadline had passed, or so we were told

“No Johan, too late” young Hal surely sung,
Yet fans of the Yanks are still dream of Cy Young

Back to the Cuse and our new OC Mitch,
Your O-line is much scarier than that mean evil Grinch

And get used to your boss saying “I don’t know”
You’ll hear that more often than Santa’s “Ho, ho, ho!”

The loud house once was a hostile place,
Like Jet Blue now, fans have plenty of space

The faces of Orange fans often wore a frown,
Because nothing says “quit” like punting on 3rd down

Fear not, our AD will return the Dome’s thunder,
Every week just retire another jersey number

Chins up Cuse fans, for if that should miss
We’ll get another tour stop from the midgets dressed as KISS

2008 brings Joe Pa back to CNY
That final score could really make us cry

But just when you think next year won’t be great,
Remember the best part of fall is the chance to tailgate

Bowl season is hear and while we’re not there,
Think back to the time when missing out was rare

Your program is in terrific shape, the Good Doctor did say,
Dear Daryl we hope you’ve been updating your resume

To our readers we do offer with great sincerity,
“A Merry Christmas to all” from the Idiots of Three

D-Fenders and Irony


The Syracuse paper is reporting today that former Syracuse Center Darryl Watkins has been claimed by the LA D-Fenders (there is a little known rule that all minor league sports teams must have assinine names) of the NBDL after getting cut recently by the Sacramento Kings. While I'm sure Watkins would much rather still be in the NBA, it's a good opportunity for him to showcase his shot blocking and defensive ability and make it back to the league.


The ironic part is that the paper had a story today by Donna Ditota talking about the offensive development of SU center's Arinze Onuaku and Rick Jackson. Both young players have already shown more offense this year than Mookie showed in 4. However, what the article failed to mention is that AO and Jackson both have to improve by leaps and bounds on the defensive end for this team to have a successful year. I don't even think the dreaded "d" word appeared in the article once.


The lesson these young guys need to learn is ultimately that defense is what is going to take them, and the team, to the next level.

A Hurt That Really Hurts

Mike Waters' blog had an interesting item that went up late last night, apparently the Virginia men's basketball trainer was reassigned *cough* fired after SU's win over Virgina a week and half ago. The story Waters links to in the Charlottesville Daily Record doesn't have many more details, so I can only surmise that Len Elmore and Mike Patrick put a few calls in after the game. On that note, I really do hope Sean Singletary got the flowers and candy Mike and Lenny sent.

As for the trainer, the good news is that the last time I checked Elmore and Patrick don't call men's soccer games, so his job working with the soccer team should be safe for now.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Athletes Who SHOULD Have Taken Steroids

The Mitchell Report on steroid use in baseball has the sports world buzzing. Google "Mitchell Report" and you get back more than 300,000 results. Predictably ESPN, the self proclaimed "world wide leader" in sports is getting caught up in the hype, claiming the contents of the report "will be huge for baseball." Thanks ESPN, we never would have figured that one out on our own.

Anyway, while the world prepares to act shocked that Jason Giambi was on the juice and a bunch of other guys go into, "the report isn't true mode" (I'm talking about you Kevin Millar) - we here at T3I decided to take a look at some athletes who SHOULD have been on the juice, because frankly while we all love a lot of the guys on the list - they needed some help. This is by no means a comprehensive list, feel free to add your suggestions below.

Shawn Bradley. Any list of athletes that needed to be stronger has to have Bradley on it. Imagine how many fewer posters Shawn would have been on had he just got on the juice....

Manute Bol. Can you imagine the added range Manute would have had if he had only been using some roids? Half court would have been a lay up for him.


Todd Pinkston. The former Eagle never was quite strong enough to become a good receiver in the league - then again, if he had the physique of TO, he still would have "lost the ball in the lights."



Chuck Nevitt. This former NBA giant stood 7'5" and scratched out a serviceable NBA career, but we can't help but wonder - would Nevitt + roids = Shaq? Sadly, we'll never know.




Dan McGwire. This beanpole was a former first round draft pick of the Seattle Seahawks who never panned out. He stuck around the NFL for 4 years and at 6'8" was the tallest guy to play quarterback in the league. If only he'd been a little stronger.....I wonder if he had any family members that could have helped him out?



Mike Smithson. This little known former big league pitcher actually lead the AL in starts for a couple of years in the 80s, but that didn't last long. Performance enhancing drugs could have changed all that.




Billy Celuck. Syracuse fans all know Billy, he gave it everything he had out the floor, but being muscular wasn't a strong point. Sadly, neither were "basketball skills" so juicing certainly would have helped.



Merton Hanks' neck. Seriously, just look at this thing, how he never suffered some horrific career ending neck injury is beyond us.




Andy Stankiewicz. Stanky the Yankee the was a favorite of all three idiots, sadly the Stankiewicz era didn't last long enough. Jeter was the only guy on the planet that could follow Stanky.



Eric Davis. Don't believe us, check out this photo from early in his career (on second thought, we might want to wait until the report comes out before including him).



Michael Chang. Just the thought of Michael Chang all buffed and ripped makes Andre Agassi cry. If Mike had the body to go with the hustle, and the crazy under hand serve he'd bust out once in a while, Federer would be chasing his records right now.


Jager bombs are for wimps.

Shots of whiskey? Please.

Keg stands? Cmon.

Jager bombs, don't insult me.

Real men chug liters of vodka.

You are not a victim.

Photo: Curtis Compton/Atlanta Journal Constitution

The Russianator really hit a homerun in his post on this Bobby Petrino drama. What caught my eye in this story was Falcons owner Arthur Blank. At his presser, Mr. Blank did his best Mike Tranghese imitation and claimed that he felt "abused" over his jilting.

Abused? That's a tough pill for this idiot to swallow. Arthur you KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INVOLVED WITH. This reminds me of a woman who decides to have an affair with a married man. The married man ends up leaving his family, getting divorced and shacks up with the former mistress. The two actually get married. You think this marriage is going to last? My money is on the husband to be out looking for a new mistress within 2 years. At least that's what I learned from watching Michael Mancini on Melrose Place. That woman knew what she was getting into as did you Mr. Blank.

I have no problems with Falcon players calling out Petrino. They went to war for the man, they followed his orders, and looked to him for leadership. Mr. Blank on the other hand, you wined and dined the pretty girl with a bad reputation. You took her to the dance and now you're upset she's slow dancing with another guy. You are not a victim here.

The real victims here are the University of Louisville fans; they had to suffer through a Petrino-less defeat at the hands of Syracuse.

As we learned earlier in the week this guy really needs to focus on his choice of words.


Keep the Podium Handy

In case you weren't up all night watching the Arkansas announcement that Bobby "I have no principles" Petrino will be the next head football coach, it is below, in two parts. The video really says more than I ever could about the situation. Before you get into it, keep in mind that this is a guy who had clandestine meetings about the Auburn job even though it wasn't open, a guy who signed a 10 year contract at Louisville 18 months ago and left 6 months later for the Falcons. So, what I'm saying Razorback fans - don't get too comfortable.



Here's part 2 of Mr. Sincerity's remarks, the best part is at the very end when they bring the cheerleaders up and everyone starts doing the pig sooie chant.



DeAngelo Hall isn't so impressed, and while he's insane, you can't fault him for his thoughts on this one:

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The LVP Watch

As the NFL season draws to a close, we bring you another week of the LVP Watch. As always, it was a tough week, so let's get right to the list:



The 2009 Arena League MVP - Kyle Boller

1. Kyle Boller - Quarterback, Baltimore Ravens - Thanks to a nice smooth 3 interception day, Boller once again proved to the world that he actually does suck. Don't be fooled by sporadic flashes of competency, Boller stinks. I do give him credit for playing so poorly that Troy Smith actually got on the field this week. The good news for Boller, he's starting this week, and Brian Billick is coming back, since apparently he's making decisions on his own regarding his future.

2. DeAngelo Hall - Cornerback, Atlanta Falcons. It's been quite a year for Mr. Hall, from the infamous game against Carolina when he took 67 yards in penalties on one drive, to fighting with his coach, and just being a distraction in general, Hall has been on fire. He kicked it up another notch on Monday night with his support for Mike Vick - because it wasn't like Ronnie Mexico actually admitted he killed dogs himself........oh wait a minute.

3. John Beck - Quarterback, Miami Dolphins. It's not really fair to put a rookie quarterback who is playing on the league's worst team on the list, but frankly, he's a big part of the problem. Beck has been completely ineffective since being inserted into the lineup, and an awful fumble on Sunday lead to a Cleo Lemon sighting. 35 years from now, do you think this Miami team will be cracking open champagne each year after the last winless team in the NFL beats someone? They really should, it's only fair.

4. Anthony Smith - Safety, Pittsburgh Steelers. We all know about the prediction and how that worked out. I guess the old adage that it's better to be quiet and have people think you are stupid than open your mouth and confirm it, is true. In addition to the wildly inaccurate prediction, Mr. Smith was abused all day on Sunday. This video pretty much makes my point.





5. Shaun Alexander - Running back, Seattle Seahawks. Another week, another performance that reminds us of how he's a shadow of his former self. He had 10 carries for 38 yards against the Cardinals and 25 of those came on one carry. For the years his yards per carry is still 3.3. The problem is Seattle keeps winning, so obviously can't be killing them that badly. On that note Shaun, here's a little video that you've inspired: