Reality TV for Today's Athletes

One thing the now settled writer's strike has confirmed, there IS such a thing as too much reality TV. Now, as we anxiously await the return of shows like the Office, we are at the end of our collective ropes with the current crap that's on TV. America has reached the tipping point with these shows, and there's only way to save them - get some stars to appear. T3I thought we'd take a look at which reality TV shows might be a good fit for some of today's athletes.

American Idol - Since Carl Lewis is too old to qualify, let's go with injured SU guard Eric Devendorf. Devo has the attitude to stand up to Simon, the prerequisite chin strap beard, and we know he's stood in front of a microphone before.

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? - Manny Ramirez. Manny Being Manny would be put to a whole new test. Our money is on the 5th graders.

Dancing With the Stars - Something tells us Emmit Smith would be AWFUL on this show, but he'd probably make a GREAT TV broadcaster.......or do we have this reversed? Let's just move on.

Celebrity Apprentice - Shaquille O'Neal is made for this show. Shaq's got charisma, Shaq doesn't take crap from people who break the big man code, and we'd love to see the Donald try and fire the big fella.

Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew - This is like shooting fish in a barrel, but let's go with Scott Spiezio. In addition to getting him clean, we can watch a guy with bizarre facial hair, it's a win-win.

Flavor of Love - Erin Andrews. Every male's favorite sideline reporter is used to fending off creepy guys, and who wouldn't want to watch lovely Erin fight off the advances of a small crackhead with gold teeth?

The Moment of Truth - Roger Clemens is the obvious choice, but we're so sick of this story it might be better if we got his lawyer Rusty Hardin up there instead. Think of all the questions - what's with the name Rusty? Care to explain the wardrobe? There's no way Rusty walks out of that show with any cash.

Rock of Love With Bret Michaels - Anna Kournikova. It's a match made in heaven, neither ever had much talent, both achieved high levels of fame and attention anyway, and neither one wants to fade away.

Supernanny - Pacman Jones. If a big fat mean woman with an English accent can't straighten out Pacman we don't know who can. At least he won't throw money at her like he does strippers (we hope).

The Biggest Loser - Bartolo Colon. Lucky for us, there are a lot of fat athletes to pick from, but Bart could drop a size or twenty.

Wife Swap - Andre and Masha Kirilenko. Given the "unusual" nature of their relationship, sending Masha to live with a redneck named Cooter in a trailer in rural Georgia is a no brainer. The real question, would Cooter's wife count as Andre's once per year dalliance? We want to find out.