Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's thougths

You've bought the roses, you've broken out the Barry White CD, and you've logged onto T3I expecting a warm, sappy Valentine's day message.

Boy have you made a wrong turn on the information superhighway.

Remember Valentine's day in grade school and deciding which Scooby Doo Valentine to give to the hot girl you liked, while pawning off the Fred card to the fat smelly kid? Remember the "mailboxes" you would spend all day creating and decorating? Thank you Hallmark Conspiracy for these memories.

Since this is a sports blog written by complete idiots , I thought I'd reflect on what in the sporting world I love.

I love tailgating, even at the utterly shameful tailgating scene that is Syracuse University. I've had the fortune of tailgating with my fellow idiots for several years now. Nothing beats a Saturday morning in a parking lot forcing down a brat and beer at 9AM while arguing about whether or not the basketball team from Teen Wolf could beat the team from Porky's.

I love helmet sundaes at minor league baseball games. You know the ones. Ice cream and summer, that's gold my friend.

I love talking trash during a fantasy football draft. Real friends bust each other's balls. Can we get that as a man law please?

I love flipping channels and stumbling across an old Cuse game on ESPN Classic. There's nothing like reliving Dave Johnson's fade or Sherman Douglas' short-shorts. It's getting quite rare now that ESPN Classic is quickly becoming ESPN Classic Poker.

I love weekend naps during sporting events I'm quasi-interested in. Nothing sleeps better than PGA Golf, the NFL Draft, NASCAR (as Boss pointed out), or a Yanks-Devil Rays game.

I love Saratoga in the summer time. If you've never ventured there to experience the horse racing, shame on you. If you've never been there to experience the post-race party scene, DOUBLE SHAME ON YOU. Just bring your wallet, you have been warned.

I love going to games at Camden Yards. Every MLB city should be so lucky.

I love March Madness On Demand. Hoops fans: this is a must for the first rounds of the tournament.

I love Cuse road trips. The best sporting event of my life was hitting the road with my fellow idiots during the 2003 national title run. Runner up: T3I invades BC during their last game in the Big East....aka the Diamond Ferri Show. Good times.

I love NFL Films Super Bowl highlight films. You know the ones they run continuously around the clock on Super Bowl weekend?

I love Carl Lewis' rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner from 1993. Here's a taste. Yes that is former Orangemen and NJ Net Derrick Coleman trying to hide during it. Fast forward to the 42 second mark of this clip that features then SportsCenter anchor Charlie Steiner laughing uncontrollably at the Lewis peformance. Steiner kills me here, I swear I get tears in my eyes from laughing so much.

I love Championship Week on ESPN.

I love overanalyzing sports movies: No way Cole Trickle makes up that much ground at Daytona (Days of Thunder); no way that Harris the 50yo starter can go 8 innings in the finale vs. the Yanks (Major League); So Rudy gets a sack in garbage time, what's the big deal? (Rudy); if Clubber Lang fought Drago, who'd win? (Rocky III and IV)

One more day in the work week faithful readers. Hang in there and beat Gtown! To those who aren't working Monday: celebrate our Presidents by buying that new mattress or however you may.


Josh said...

Teen Wolf would crush Porky's.

Russianator said...

THANK YOU JOSH - You see Champ, Josh gets it - Porky's could never contain the wolf - he'd go for 60 alone.

Axeman said...

The Beavers...err...Wolves would crush the team from Porky's, no doubt.

The Wolf would drop 60-65 points and as long as Chubbs didn't play like Arinze Onuaku has been lately, they would be set.

Champ said...

Team Teen Wolf is like MJ's Bulls early in his career. Let the Wolf go off and contain everyone else.

They can't handle Meat on the glass.

Russianator said...

Thats what Chubbs is for, to set picks for the wolf and rebound. Who's gonna score for the porkys team? Porkys is like this year's St. Johns

Anonymous said...

Teen wolf's beaver's would crush, the porky's boys. besides, who wants to play man to man on a guy with excessive body hair?? however post game celebration goes to porkys boys, these guys were glory hole pioneers back in the day, just make sure the large german coach aint around....ouch!

the captain