As has been referenced a thousand times, Champ and I played high school basketball together a long time ago - with very little success. Our combined record for our junior and senior years was 7-33 which, coincidentally, will be Greg Robinson's record after 5 games this year.
In looking back at what went so horribly wrong for us all those years ago, we always suspected our diets may have had something to do with it. You see, where we went to school we were allowed to leave school grounds for lunch - and as such, we often found ourselves at a local store buying massive quantities of chocolate donuts, an assortment of cookies and pastries and washing them down with chocolate milk and soda.
Other days were spent eating pizza, burgers, party sized bags of chips and gallons of sugared beverages. Needless to say, we'd head back to class, feel like crap and suffered through the rest of the day and then proceed to go out and get our asses kicked by about 40.
Well, thanks to Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley, it has been revealed that the food had nothing to do with those horrific results - it turns out it was the other thing we suspected all along - we flat out sucked. How do I know this you ask? Because Cooley has told the world that, in addition to drinking heavily and marrying a smoking hot cheerleader - his diet consists of complete garbage - yet he hasn't missed a practice in four years and has made the Pro Bowl. God I hate Chris Cooley.