(Idiot News Service) – In an effort to spark their Syracuse circa 2005 offense, St. Louis Rams coach Scott ‘Dead Man Walking’ Linehan has named Trent Green the starting quarterback for this Sunday’s game against the Buffalo Bills.
The Idiot News Service is reporting exclusively that Green may not be able to take the field because he’s being treated for yet another concussion. Sources deep inside the Rams organization have learned that this morning after practice Green was hit in the head by one of Steven Jackson’s dread locks while in line at the salad bar at the Rams training facility.
According to an eye witness, Green was behind Jackson in line and was reaching in under the sneeze guard to get some bacos, when Jackson realized he’d forgotten to ladle the tasty fake meat parts over his generously apportioned salad. Jackson turned his head quickly to reach back for the delicious topping, causing a dread lock to swing around and hit Green in the temple. He immediately collapsed to the floor.
The Idiot News Service is reporting exclusively that Green may not be able to take the field because he’s being treated for yet another concussion. Sources deep inside the Rams organization have learned that this morning after practice Green was hit in the head by one of Steven Jackson’s dread locks while in line at the salad bar at the Rams training facility.
According to an eye witness, Green was behind Jackson in line and was reaching in under the sneeze guard to get some bacos, when Jackson realized he’d forgotten to ladle the tasty fake meat parts over his generously apportioned salad. Jackson turned his head quickly to reach back for the delicious topping, causing a dread lock to swing around and hit Green in the temple. He immediately collapsed to the floor.
Our witness, who requested anonymity due to the sensitivity of the issue, said, "Steven really likes bacon bits and frankly, bacos are his favorite. You know there's no actual meat in them right? Steve doesn't care - for him, it's a plus, because they are healthy for you. Well I was
standing at the salad bar trying to decide if I wanted to put any of that weird baby corn on my salad and just as I looked up I see Steve turn around really fast. Steve is a fast man, people forget that because he hasn't had a hole to run through in two years, but he's still fast. Anyway, when his head whipped around that dread caught Trent right in the head, he didn't stand a chance, not after his long history of concussions. He hit hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. Seriously though, Trent should have never been that close to him - it's the salad bar man - it's war in there."
standing at the salad bar trying to decide if I wanted to put any of that weird baby corn on my salad and just as I looked up I see Steve turn around really fast. Steve is a fast man, people forget that because he hasn't had a hole to run through in two years, but he's still fast. Anyway, when his head whipped around that dread caught Trent right in the head, he didn't stand a chance, not after his long history of concussions. He hit hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. Seriously though, Trent should have never been that close to him - it's the salad bar man - it's war in there."Dante Hall was standing behind Green in line, but tragically dropped him as he fell to the floor. There’s no word on whether or not Green will be cleared, if he can’t go, Marc Bulger will again be under center - until he inevitably gets hurt in the third quarter.
2 comments:
Hmmmmmm Bacos!
As a Chef, I say Bacos are truly underappreciated in the Culinary industry!
Danny
TheSportHump.com
i always think of this one thing when i eat bacos...
I am just fake bacon flavoring away from eating grape nuts cereal.
I manange to push through though, and, always get more bacos.
great post sir,
the captain
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