Friday, September 19, 2008

Weekly NFL Football Picks - Except for Last Week

How hard is it to pick NFL games when there's no point spread? I never thought it was that hard - but for the last 5 years or so I've been in a pool where we do this. It has about 30 people in it and at the end of the year it pays out the top 3 spots. Without fail, every year I finish 4th or 5th. Through two weeks this year I'm tied for 5th, 3 picks off the lead. I've correctly hit 21 of 32 games, which is better than Keyshawn, Cris Carter and Mort. I'm also beating the Cousins of Ron Mexico - although everyone will have to take my word for it.

For your amusement, I'll be posting my picks, and the ill-fated logic behind these picks every Friday. You'll notice I didn't do so last Friday, but hey, life happens, and no one missed it anyway. Enough of the small talk, let's pick some games.

Arizona at Washington

This is a tough one - who knows when Kurt Warner will break in two because he's a hundred years old and who knows if the Redskins actually understand what Jim Zorn is trying to do. When in doubt, bet against the Cardinals on the road - sucking for 50 years is statistically relevent.

The pick - Washington

Carolina at Minnesota

The Panthers seem to be resurgent, Jake Delhomme's elbow is just fine and Steve Smith just got his "you haven't knocked anyone out in 30 days" chip from ragaholics anonymous. On paper this seems easy since Minnesota is 0-2, Adrain Peterson is knicked up and the artist formerly known as Gussell Frerotte is their quarterback, but they desperately needs this game and they're at home, so I'm saying they pull this one out. Don't worry Viking fans, they'll break your heart this year - but it hurts more when they raise your hopes, that's what they do this week.

The pick - Minnesota

Cincinnati at the New York

If we used a point spread, I'd be tempted to take the Bengals, but straight up, you have to take the G-men. The Bengals are so screwed up I think even if David Carr started for the giants they'd win.

The pick - New York

Houston at Tennessee

The Titans are actually better with Kerry Collins than Vince Young - and you wonder why Vince is having a hard time.....speaking of which, remember last year when everyone said Matt Schaub was going to be a great fit in Houston? Everyone is a moron.

The pick - the Titans

Kansas City at Atlanta

This is the NFL equivalent of Syracuse-Northeastern. Anyone that watches this game is sick.

The pick - Atlanta

Miami at New England

Joey Porter says Miami will win because Matt Cassell is playing. Cassell has won more games this year (2) than Porter's team has won in 2 years (1). That's good enough for me.

The pick - New England

Oakland at Buffalo

Buffalo is pretty good and Oakland - well they're not. Could Lane Kiffin be within a couple of hours of his next job?

The pick - Buffalo

Tampa Bay at Chicago

This game should set back offensive football about 30 years. I like the Bears defense at home, especially since Galloway is out. While researching this game, I stumbled across this guy - who looks like an even goofier Sean Salisbury - who knew that was possible?

The pick - Chicago

Detroit at San Francisco

San Francisco is getting better - Detroit is on the road - Jon Kitna stinks - Mike Martz will attack his old team's horrendous defense. As much as I want to pick the Lions here, I can't. I think it's a shootout, but the Niners squeak by in the end.

The pick - San Francisco

New Orleans at Denver

Everyone loves Denver this week. Their offense is good, but don't underestimate how bad their D was last week. New Orleans, pissed off over giving away a game against the Redskins last week comes in and upsets the Broncos in Denver. Of course, the Saints defense sucks too, the over/under on this thing should be 100.

The pick - New Orleans

St. Louis at Seattle

The Rams are an abomination. I don't care about the fact that Hasselback has to throw the ball to the 3 stooges, anyone that picks the Rams on the road is nuts. I'm guessing Steven Jackson is calling up NBA player Stephen Jackson for tips on how to go crazy on people right now.

The pick - Seattle

Cleveland at Baltimore

Another game I won't watch a second of, I don't care how bad the Browns have looked, if they can't beat Joe Flacco, Romeo Crennell should apply for a job on Greg Robinson's staff.

The pick - Cleveland

Jacksonville at Indianapolis

I want the record to reflect I was never on the Jacksonville bandwagon. Indy has some real issues, but I'm still taking them at home against a Jaguars team that doesn't have any receivers and suddenly can't run the ball.

The pick - Indy

Pittsburgh at Philadelphia

I'm an unabashed Eagles fan and hopelessly biased, so just ignore this pick. All signs point to an Eagles let down after an epic Monday night game, but I'm picking them anyway. They need to get pressure on Big Ben and getting Reggie Brown back will help.

The pick - Philly

Dallas at Green Bay

Dallas is better than Green Bay, I really believe that. However their secondary sucks moose balls and they are traveling after a short week. Aaron Rodgers has been great so far and he's quickly on his way to becoming a media darling much like his predecessor. Let's roll the dice with the Pack on this one.

The pick - Green Bay

New York Jets at San Diego

Even with Norville Turner as their head coach - quick tangent here, you know Norv's brother is named Ron right? How pissed must he be that he went through life with a name like Norville, while his brother got Ron? I know I'd be pissed. Oh - back to the game - give me the Chargers - there's no way they lose this week after what happened to them the first two weeks - and I hate the Jets.

The pick - San Diego


Last week 9-7
Overall record - 21-11.

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