Last week I was lucky enough to spend four days in Myrtle Beach with a group of guys playing golf, gambling on our respective golf games and drinking our faces off. All in all, it was a marvelous time. Myrtle Beach also happens to be a wonderful place -- if you enjoy turning your brain off and engaging in mindless activities - which I highly recommend.
However, during a brief period of lucidity, I made the mistake of turning on the local TV news (which normally does not inspire any brain activity) and stumbled across WMBF News -- which is running a feature called reject the recession. The campaign calls for people to eat local, shop local, play local and live local.
Putting aside the fact that a slogan would in no way shape or form help end the recession -- for a region whose economy is based almost solely on on tourism to encourage people to "stay home" tells you all you need to know about the retards that came up with this game changing idea. In a national recession encouraging a few southerners to stay home, and in turn hurt other parts of the country that depend on tourism, is mind numbingly dumb. However, if Myrtle Beach TV can just end things they don't like by "rejecting them" then so can we. So in honor of WMBF, here are a few things this idiot is going to reject. I expect them to all end by the time this post goes up.
* I reject Daryl Gross upping the donation levels for premium seats while continuing to give away extremely cheap seats in the end zones. I understand the need to fill the Dome, what I don't understand is wringing more cash from loyal fans who have been ponying up decent money for seats even though the football team has been a national embarrassment the past 4 years to subsidize the fair weather fans that only pay for tickets when the team is good. The increase is rejected - I expect a refund immediately.
* I reject snow and awful weather throughout the first two weeks of the baseball season. Baseball isn't meant to be played in weather conditions like this - so I declare them over. The same goes for the World Series - these games will only be played in good weather from now on. Since the season will never be changed or shortened, rejecting weather is our only chance to fix this.
* I reject Geno Auriemma. No explanation necessary.
* I reject the day after the baseball All Star break. A day without sports is not something that can be supported - so let's reject it.
* While we are here - I reject the ESPYs a 1,000 times over. Award shows in general are awful, but a sports award show? Really? You know why sports are great - there's a scoreboard that tells us who wins and who loses which is precisely why we DON'T need an awards show.
* I reject the fact that Masters requires CBS and ESPN to refer to fans "patrons." The Masters is awesome. It has the world's greatest golfers, the world's slickest greens, the risks and rewards of amen corner, Tiger and Phil, and it's run by some rednecks who discriminate against minorities and make people call their fans patrons. Ugh.
* I reject Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay arguing on ESPN over the draft. It hurts my ears and I can't concentrate on anything they say because Mel's hair is more insane than ever and all McShay does is turn red like one of those perverts on to catch a predator. No one needs that. I do like Mel on the radio however - and I don't care if that's hypocritical.
* I reject players bitching about not getting into the Hall of Fame. Yes, I'm talking to you Bert Blyleven. I don't care what your numbers are, no one ever watched you pitched and said "hey, there's a hall of famer." Shut up and go away.
* I reject the speculation surrounding the future of all Syracuse basketball players. I want the whole team to come back absolutely stacked, so in my mind they will be back. The guys need to take a clue from the Myrtle Beach slogan and "live local."
However, during a brief period of lucidity, I made the mistake of turning on the local TV news (which normally does not inspire any brain activity) and stumbled across WMBF News -- which is running a feature called reject the recession. The campaign calls for people to eat local, shop local, play local and live local.
Putting aside the fact that a slogan would in no way shape or form help end the recession -- for a region whose economy is based almost solely on on tourism to encourage people to "stay home" tells you all you need to know about the retards that came up with this game changing idea. In a national recession encouraging a few southerners to stay home, and in turn hurt other parts of the country that depend on tourism, is mind numbingly dumb. However, if Myrtle Beach TV can just end things they don't like by "rejecting them" then so can we. So in honor of WMBF, here are a few things this idiot is going to reject. I expect them to all end by the time this post goes up.
* I reject Daryl Gross upping the donation levels for premium seats while continuing to give away extremely cheap seats in the end zones. I understand the need to fill the Dome, what I don't understand is wringing more cash from loyal fans who have been ponying up decent money for seats even though the football team has been a national embarrassment the past 4 years to subsidize the fair weather fans that only pay for tickets when the team is good. The increase is rejected - I expect a refund immediately.
* I reject snow and awful weather throughout the first two weeks of the baseball season. Baseball isn't meant to be played in weather conditions like this - so I declare them over. The same goes for the World Series - these games will only be played in good weather from now on. Since the season will never be changed or shortened, rejecting weather is our only chance to fix this.
* I reject Geno Auriemma. No explanation necessary.
* I reject the day after the baseball All Star break. A day without sports is not something that can be supported - so let's reject it.
* While we are here - I reject the ESPYs a 1,000 times over. Award shows in general are awful, but a sports award show? Really? You know why sports are great - there's a scoreboard that tells us who wins and who loses which is precisely why we DON'T need an awards show.
* I reject the fact that Masters requires CBS and ESPN to refer to fans "patrons." The Masters is awesome. It has the world's greatest golfers, the world's slickest greens, the risks and rewards of amen corner, Tiger and Phil, and it's run by some rednecks who discriminate against minorities and make people call their fans patrons. Ugh.
* I reject Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay arguing on ESPN over the draft. It hurts my ears and I can't concentrate on anything they say because Mel's hair is more insane than ever and all McShay does is turn red like one of those perverts on to catch a predator. No one needs that. I do like Mel on the radio however - and I don't care if that's hypocritical.
* I reject players bitching about not getting into the Hall of Fame. Yes, I'm talking to you Bert Blyleven. I don't care what your numbers are, no one ever watched you pitched and said "hey, there's a hall of famer." Shut up and go away.
* I reject the speculation surrounding the future of all Syracuse basketball players. I want the whole team to come back absolutely stacked, so in my mind they will be back. The guys need to take a clue from the Myrtle Beach slogan and "live local."
* And I reject angry rants on sports blogs on the internet - which means I'm happy, so it's time to wrap this up. However, feel free to reject anything you want in the comment section below.
6 comments:
I miss Myrtle Beach. I live in NC and used to go there every year(it's only a 3-4 drive from my house). Some of the best golf courses, clubs and if you just need quiet, you can lay out on the beach until you pass out.
Oh and I reject about half of the ESPN on air analysts as experts but more as mouth pieces to occupy time and air as filler and controversy spark plugs.
I agree with much of what you said Neph, but you're dead wrong on Bert B. He has 287 wins and is 5th on the all time strikeout list. His lifetime era was great. He had the misfortune to pitch on some very bad teams which accounts for his rather high number of losses. Check out baseball-reference.com. His numbers stack up well against other Hall of Famers. I saw him pitch many times on TV and he had one of the nastiest curveballs ever. He belongs in the Hall of Fame-Trust me on this one. keep the great posts coming. Take care, Uncle Dave
i reject vegetables. They suck.
I reject that people correct me when I say I am going to play Putt-Putt when it's apparently called Miniature Golf.
I reject that.
Danny
TheSportHump.net
Bert has great numbers, but a lot of that was produced as a result of his longevity. Should he be commended for his longevity - sure. But it's not the Hall of You Played for a Long Time.
Was he good - sure. But he won 20 games once, never won a Cy Young, never lead the league in ERA, only went to 2 all star games....it's not the Hall of very good - it's the hall of fame.
He's better than some other guys that are in, but I don't think they should be in either. Plus I'm sick of him bitching and whining about it. That's as bad as Dukie Vitale lobbying for years to get into the basketball HOF.
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