The Captain's Fantasy

Welcome to the Captain's Fantasy

With the NFL set to kick off tonight, that means one thing -- Fantasy Football. Like many, many, many Americans, all the idiots participate in fantasy football. We are all in the same league together, and many of us participate in more than one (because we're cool like that).

However, lifelong friend and honorary idiot the Captain studies the fantasy game like a fat kid studies cake. He's been kind enough to agree to write a weekly fantasy football column for our loyal readers, giving his insight into selected match ups each week. If we're lucky, at some point, he'll give us tips on how to do shots of gravy and not puke - but that might be asking too much. Without further delay, I bring you week one of the Captain's fantasy.

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Hello Idiot nation. It's your fellow Idiot, the Captain here with a new, weekly feature on T3I, we're gonna call "The Captain's Fantasy." Typically, this would involve various meats and fried items on a tray next to a bevy of video gaming devices. However, during this time of the year, there is a change, a metamorphosis if you will. This is Fantasy Football season....

Everyone has their strategies and thoughts on fantasy football. I prefer to work with facts, and my gut (which is sizable and usually filled with one pound of red meat at all times). I'm going to give you a couple of guys each week which who are my plays of the week and you'll get a few "stay away like they have VD" picks as well. I will also review my previous week's plays if time/space allows. Plus I'll toss in a random thought or two.

WEEK 1 PLAYS

RB
When you think of dominant running games, the Giants, Vikings, and Carolina, come to mind. Here's a team you may not think about -- Baltimore. Consider this, the Ravens had the 4th best team rushing stats last year.

RAY RICE vs KC is VERY TEMPTING. Rice has been named the starter ahead of McGahee and Le' Ron McClain has been put back into his true position as a fullback. The Ravens had 150 yds rushing per game last year and a averaged bit over 4 yds per carry. He's young, quick, and facing a team in trouble in every aspect of their game. I think he will be a top 10 back by the end of the year.

WR
Houston has been the darlings of the fantasy world for the last several years. They are like the seemingly ordinary looking girl in high school who puts out, but ends up getting knocked up by a member of the wrestling team and doesn't make it to the prom. Well this year, she keeps her legs closed and makes it to graduation.

KEVIN WALTER vs JETS is a good play. The Jets will be double teaming Andre Johnson more than Jenna Jameson and they have to because AJ is a superior WR, but, if you look at RED ZONE TARGETS last year, Kevin Walter was targeted as much as AJ was and he paid off with 900 yds and 8 td. This year Kevin Walter will go over a 1,000 yds and gets 10 TDs. If Matt Schaub stays healthy you can BOOK IT. If you need a WR2/3 or a flex player and you have K.Walter, use him.

TE
VISANTHE SHIANCOE - Man that is a great name. I wonder if its something foreign meaning a baby's arm holding an apple? This guy is going to have a huge year in my opinion. He finished last year with 600 yds and 7 TDS this year who throwing him the ball? Well rumor has it there is a new sheriff in purple and gold, and the sheriff has always LOVED throwing to his safety valve. If Favre stays healthy, VS's stock goes up, if Favre doesn't stay healthy, he'll do as good as last year. Look , if you are drafting a TE named GATES, WITTEN, GONZO, even D CLARK, you have expectations. This guy came at a good draft value this year, use him or pick him up. You'll be presently surprised.

WEEK 1 - AVOID LIKE THEY HAVE SWINE FLU

Anyone know who gave up the least rushing yds per game this preseason? Nope not Baltimore. The NY Giants? Think again. PIT? You'd be wrong.

The answer is SAN DIEGO....I know it's only preseason, I know Merriman is "allegedly" smacking around Asian Bisexual women. But, the Chargers team speed is awesome. There have been a lot of people on the Darren Mcfadden bandwagon this year. He's a great player, he'll get his points for sure. Just don't expect a 20 pt outing this week. Name me an even decent WR on the Raiders?? SD will stack the box and their speed will keep McFadden in check, stay away from him if you can.

Lets imagine for a moment your starting QB is dinged, your starting WR is disgruntled, your RB position is marginal at best, your head coach is new and your offensive coordinator just got canned. Well, if you are a fan of the KC CHEFS (I spelled it wrong intentionally) you have this little gem of a season to look forward to. How bad do you feel when people are talking more about the positives in Detroit than in your team?

Oh, by the way, they get Baltimore and their #2 ranked pass defense and#3 run defense the first week of the year. Stay away from anything CHIEFS related this week, (I may change this to year after a few weeks).

RANDOM CAPTAIN THOUGHTS

- I think TJ Housh -azxnbdgejlincfsda - zada is going to have a great year in Seattle. No one is talking about him, they will be.

- I participated in several drafts this year, and it seems the word handcuffing is a popularly used, but isn't practiced much. I have several handcuffs on my roster this year and some of them are mine, if there was a position called trade bait, they'd be there.

- Here's a little something to think about, your league playoffs are going on during the last quarter of the season. It's a time that playoff bound teams start resting their stars so be sure to pick up a couple 2nd string rb/wr's at the end of the year and watch the dividends pay off.

Good luck during week 1. Don't forget, Thursday is the first game, if you have any PIT/TEN players, get em ready.

The Captain