Friday, October 16, 2009

Gear Grinding: Stuff That's Pissing Me Off


I need to get a few things off my chest. You need to kill a few hours before heading out for the weekend. Sounds like we've got a match. Settle in, because here are a few things that have been pissing me off lately.

TBS Baseball Coverage - It goes without saying that their coverage of the playoffs has been awful. Here's something fun - google TBS, playoffs, and suck. You get more than 300,000 results - and that's 700,000 too few. How anyone ever thought a network that specializes in My Name is Earl reruns could pull off broadcasting the most important games of the baseball season is beyond me.

Once you get done with their awful broadcasting teams, they switch it back to the studio crew, which besides Ernie Johnson (a real pro) is a nightmare. How can you pay attention to anything Dennis Eckersly says when he's still rocking the mini-mullet and Tom Selleck 'stache? He could be telling the audience he was the mastermind behind the balloon boy scam and I wouldn't even notice - because the hair and stache is so mesmorizing. At least the Eck's look also distracts me from having to listen to a bloated David Wells.

Notre Dame Football - Memo to Notre Dame fans - I'm sick of all the coverage devoted to your your sucky team. Your schedule is soft. Your coach is an arrogant, overweight guy with a God complex that happens to have a 1-13 record all-time against teams that finished in the top 25. He he couldn't beat Greg Robinson last year. He couldn't beat Greg Robinson's Michigan defense this year. I can't wait for USC to paste Charlie's squad by 3 tds and then listen to Notre Dame fans call for his head.....and 3 chins. But hey, at least he's a warm, fuzzy personable guy.....

LeBron James and the Swine Flu - Apparently LeBron has the sniffles and this will no doubt cause 2,500 media stories about the subject over the next few days. Guess what, LeBron James is one of the richest, most famous athletes on the planet. He could contract ANYTHING and he's got enough resources to be A-OK. He could contract a disease House has never seen and they'd find people to solve it. If AIDS couldn't kill Magic Johnson, a head cold isn't going to stop LeBron.

Jon Gruden in the MNF Booth - I've quickly come to despise Gruden for a few reasons - he never shuts up, he praises every player, coach and waterboy on the field with hyperbole that isn't close to accurate (wait until he tells us Monday Tomlinson has a lot left in the tank) and he brings the exact same knowledge and skill set to the booth that Jaworski provides. Guess what, Jaws and Gruden both love to talk - one of those guys is more than enough. Here's a novel idea - go with a 2 man freaking booth. Tirico is solid and Jaws is fine alone. Sometimes less is more. For example, less Billy Packer means more basketball enjoyment. Learn a lesson TV execs.

Crappy NFL Teams - The NFL has long been known for it's tremendous parity. However, from a competitive standpoint (see what I did there?) this year there's a huge gap between good teams and the franchises that blow. The bottom 10 teams in the ESPN Power Rankings have a total of 7 wins. And all of those wins are AGAINST EACH OTHER. This leads to a lot more shitty games every week, and that's unacceptable.

Every Sunday that the NFL is on is special. It should be savored. It should be cherished. Worshipped even. We only get 4 months a year of glorious Sundays, filled wall to wall with NFL games. When those Sundays are rife with blow outs because JaMarcus Russell is worse than Otto Graham's corpse, and St. Louis makes the Greg Robinson era look like a success, that pisses me off. Case in point, Kansas City and Washington are playing this weekend. I'd rather pick out Halloween candy with Kige than watch this game. I'd rather watch blind midget cats try to find their way out of a maze than watch this game. I'd rather watch Charlie Weiss press conferences than watch this game. And that just can't happen, because Sunday's in May already suck - Sunday's in October need to be awesome.

Now that I got that off my chest, I feel much better. Have a happy Friday people - even you Notre Dame fans, you'll be miserable soon enough.

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