Thursday, October 22, 2009

Getting to Know JD Brookhart

The struggling Akron Zips invade the Carrier Dome at 3:30 on Saturday for a game against the struggling Syracuse Orangemen (it will always be the orangemen).

With the mainstream media doing a fine job breaking down the game, I thought it would be fun to learn more about the man who will be matching wits with Doug Marrone -- Zips head coach J.D Brookhart.

Naturally, the first stop on this Google-lead tour brings us to his official bio on the Akron web site -- and what a bio it is. The thing makes War and Peace look concise. It clocks in at close to 3,000 words -- which is a hell of a lot for a guy with 28 career wins. Joe Paterno's bio is about the same length, but the man is 360 wins ahead of JD.

Anyway, I went through the bio so you don't have to. Here's what you need to know about Brookhart:

- He's in his 6th year at Akron.

- His career record is 28-38.

- He has lead Akron to 1 bowl appearance, a 38-31 loss to Memphis in the 2005 Motor City Bowl, which is now known as the Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl. I swear I didn't make that last sentence up. I had no idea it was the Little Caesar's Bowl until 2 minutes ago. Wow. For what it's worth, Little Caesar's pizza is putrid. It takes like cardboard covered in vomit.

- At the beginning of the season hopes were high for Brookhart and his Akron team, at the halfway point, many people want him fired.

- Prior to getting the head coaching gig at Akron he coached with the Denver Broncos, with Walt Harris at Pitt (the Walt Harris coaching tree - where the branches hire the trunk!) and was a copier salesman. And not only an average copier salesman, but a kick ass copier salesman.

- He also coached Akron to a win last year over Syracuse in the Dome. If he does it again this year, I'd recommend Doug Marrone go into hiding, because it will get real ugly in CNY real fast.

- So, there's all you need to know on Mr. Brookhart - and you didn't have to wade through six pages of crap to get it. Plus, it's good to know he was a success in the real world, because if this Akron thing doesn't work out (and it's not going well) there will always be a market for copier salesman, because America's getting fatter and people love to do stuff like this:


President Bill Taft said...

I want JD Brookhart inside me.

Josh said...

Shouldn't it be the Little Caesar's Pizza Pizza Bowl Bowl?