It's that time of year again. Instead of a Dick Enberg narrated nostalgic look at the inspirational and moving images of the past year in sports, we at T3I will stick to something we know quite a bit about: saying dumb things.
So just as we've done in 2007 and 2008, here's a look at some really dumb stuff said this year.
"I'm telling your right now, it's going to be hard to say goodbye to this place." ~USC quarterback Mark Sanchez on why he's likely to stay in school.
"It's almost like kicking a dead horse in the ground." ~Terrell Owens, on the NFL suspending Mike Vick
"It's clearly not what my mom wanted." ~Michael Phelps, explaining his photo seen 'round the world.
"I don't know anything about cars." ~ new GM CEO Edward E. Whitacre Jr., upon taking his new position.
"It felt like a playoff game, for a minute." ~ Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard on January loss to the Celtics.
"Why did I sign with the Nationals? When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me." Pitcher Julian Tavarez, on signing with the Washington Nationals.
"I blame it on the lightning." ~Dodger Matt Kemp explaining a 6-0 loss to Texas.
"The Governor is hiking the Appalachian Trail." ~Spokesman for South Carolina governor Mark Sanford. Apparently the Appalachian Trail now stretches to Argentina.
"Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail, just have it as your telephone number. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye. " ~Tiger Woods, apparently forgetting that voicemails last FOREVER.
“We don't want to stop playing basketball, and we sure enough don't want to go back to school right now. We know that if we keep winning, we'll most likely miss this entire week of school. That's huge motivation right there.” ~University of Kentucky star Patrick Patterson on his team's NIT motivation.
“We definitely needed this one. This gets the chip off our back.” ~Orange guard Eric Devendorf, on a big win over Georgetown.
"I'm like Jesus--- I love all of you!" ~T3I favorite John Daly on his love for the fans at the Scottish Open.
The coach asked me if I knew how to get into a 3-point stance. I said, no, but I know how to steal a Buick Regal." ~Darnell Dockett, Cardinals defensive tackle, describing his troubled youth.
"You think we've never arrested somebody that made national media? We deal with the Bengals all the time." ~ Unidentified Cincinnati police officer, while arresting Ole Miss coach Andy Kennedy.
"We won out there. They just had more points than us." ~Pitt center DeJuan Blair on his East Regional loss to Villanova.
"I kinda miss having Miss USA around." ~Joe Mauer's dad, on his son's ex-girlfriend.
"It's not all going to be roses and flowers." ~David Ortiz, after a loss to Texas.
"I worked in Canada. It's a great city." ~Former Major Leaguer Tony Kubek
"I think they are all going for the carrot at the end of the rainbow." ~Charles Barkley, previewing the NBA playoffs.
"After we warm up before a game, I gotta take a dump. It's a huge benefit to release that gas you don't need. The facilities are beautiful. We're spoiled. If I get a good one, I know I'm gonna score two touchdowns." ~Jets running back Leon Washington
So just as we've done in 2007 and 2008, here's a look at some really dumb stuff said this year.
"I'm telling your right now, it's going to be hard to say goodbye to this place." ~USC quarterback Mark Sanchez on why he's likely to stay in school.
"It's almost like kicking a dead horse in the ground." ~Terrell Owens, on the NFL suspending Mike Vick
"It's clearly not what my mom wanted." ~Michael Phelps, explaining his photo seen 'round the world.
"I don't know anything about cars." ~ new GM CEO Edward E. Whitacre Jr., upon taking his new position.
"It felt like a playoff game, for a minute." ~ Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard on January loss to the Celtics.
"Why did I sign with the Nationals? When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me." Pitcher Julian Tavarez, on signing with the Washington Nationals.
"I blame it on the lightning." ~Dodger Matt Kemp explaining a 6-0 loss to Texas.
"The Governor is hiking the Appalachian Trail." ~Spokesman for South Carolina governor Mark Sanford. Apparently the Appalachian Trail now stretches to Argentina.
"Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail, just have it as your telephone number. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye. " ~Tiger Woods, apparently forgetting that voicemails last FOREVER.
“We don't want to stop playing basketball, and we sure enough don't want to go back to school right now. We know that if we keep winning, we'll most likely miss this entire week of school. That's huge motivation right there.” ~University of Kentucky star Patrick Patterson on his team's NIT motivation.
“We definitely needed this one. This gets the chip off our back.” ~Orange guard Eric Devendorf, on a big win over Georgetown.
"I'm like Jesus--- I love all of you!" ~T3I favorite John Daly on his love for the fans at the Scottish Open.
The coach asked me if I knew how to get into a 3-point stance. I said, no, but I know how to steal a Buick Regal." ~Darnell Dockett, Cardinals defensive tackle, describing his troubled youth.
"You think we've never arrested somebody that made national media? We deal with the Bengals all the time." ~ Unidentified Cincinnati police officer, while arresting Ole Miss coach Andy Kennedy.
"We won out there. They just had more points than us." ~Pitt center DeJuan Blair on his East Regional loss to Villanova.
"I kinda miss having Miss USA around." ~Joe Mauer's dad, on his son's ex-girlfriend.
"It's not all going to be roses and flowers." ~David Ortiz, after a loss to Texas.
"I worked in Canada. It's a great city." ~Former Major Leaguer Tony Kubek
"I think they are all going for the carrot at the end of the rainbow." ~Charles Barkley, previewing the NBA playoffs.
"After we warm up before a game, I gotta take a dump. It's a huge benefit to release that gas you don't need. The facilities are beautiful. We're spoiled. If I get a good one, I know I'm gonna score two touchdowns." ~Jets running back Leon Washington
And ladies and gentlemen....your 2009 Idiot Quote of the Year:
"A versatile guy is a guy who can be very versatile." Brian Orakpo, Texas defensive end, describing his style. 
7 comments:
I'm very upset Tyrelle Pryor's quote that everybody kill's somebody when talking about the Mike Vick eye black didn't make the list.
I was looking for the lady that did the WVU-SU game last year talking about Devo smelling duces. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YhYy5rqIR0
The Orakpo quote is just dumb. The Julian Tavarez 4am quote is idiotic splendor, the quote of the decade.
I was also surprised the Eric smelling deuces quote didn't make an appearance.
Also, the guy who runs one of my fantasy football leagues is a Republican, so I named my team the Appalachian Trail Hikers this year.
A truly genuine list that is truly genuine. Nice Job!
Sports Illustrated had a similar "dumb quote" list in this past week's issue.
My favorite was Michael Vick, "My two best attributes are my arm, my legs, and my brain."
Hilarious. Even when I'm dead, I'll still be laughing -- unless someone kicks me into the ground like a dead horse.
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