Gone Drinkin'

Tomorrow at an ungodly hour I'm getting on a plane and getting out of here. I'm off to a place where the water is blue, the sun is warm, the beer is cold and the drinks have umbrellas in them. I leave you in the able hands of Champ - I'll be back in time for next Sunday's Marquette game. In the meantime, try not to burn the place down.

Mike, it's gotta be the shoes.

Reports came in today that noted mathematician, alleged herpes patient, and Virginia Tech alumn Mike Vick would be placed on house arrest.

Upon receiving the news, Nike CEO Phil Knight quickly introduced Nike's new "Air Vick" line of foot apparel:

When you can't be more than 50 feet from your home, the Air Vick is the shoe for you.

Ladies be sure to check out the female Vick line.

High school kids already love the new Vicks.

On the football field or in the board room, Air Vicks have you covered.

Broken Ankles - Starring Jonny Flynn

What's better than watching Jonny Flynn break some some one's ankles? Why watching a shaky video replay of course......It's still fun to watch.

Ebay Item of the Week

Who wouldn't want to decorate their house with a mosaic poster of the A-Team's kick @ss van?

My favorite ring-tone I ever owned:

We've Got Good News, and We've Got Bad News

There is some good news and some bad news for fans of the Syracuse Orange tonight. The men's basketball team cruised past a pretty terrible St. John's team 87-58 in Madison Square Garden. The game was never really in doubt and while no one will complain about a blow out win under any circumstances, the game was actually kind of boring. A loss to St. John's would have sent the Orange straight towards the bubble and caused a meltdown of epic proporations throughout the fanbase, so it was good to see them take care of business in commanding fashion.

However, while the good times were rolling in New York City, the Syracuse Athletic Department dropped a bomb related to the football program - Arthur Jones, the best returning player on a rebuilding team, has torn a pec muscle lifting weights and will undergo surgery to fix the problem.

So far there is no time frame set for his return, but we can safely say spring football is out. The season is 6 months away, here's hoping he's able to get on the field by then, he's a special player on a team that doesn't have many right now. It's clearly a tough break at the start of the Doug Marrone era - and it dampens a nice win by the hoop team. Clearly, this is Norm Roberts fault - when that guy is involved, nothing good happens.

The Holy Crap SU Needs a Win Chat

At 7:30 pm tonight we are hosting a live-chat/online support group for the SU - St. John's game - stop by if you've got the time.

The Silent but Deadly King

Any time LeBron James gets caught busting ass on the bench, and that clip ends up on YouTube, you can bet we're going to bring it to you.



via Ethan Jaynes Twitter page.

The Nets - Relevant for a Day

As a Sixer fan, this really sucks - but here's the Devin Harris half court miracle shot that beat the Sixers tonight.

An Apology to Billy Edelin, or at Least to the Guys Invoking His Name

A few days ago I put up this post, talking about a blog I had stumbled upon called Searching for Billy Edelin. In that post, I proved why our blog will never be called 3 geniuses on sports, as I had a typo (since corrected) that described the content on Billy Edelin as being "not a pretty good read."

One of the fine folks that runs that site reached out to me asking if it was a typo, or just a completely mangled attempt to say their blog sucks. It was a typo. I think they are doing some fine work over there, as evidenced by their latest post discussing the Kansas - Oklahoma game and this post which will make Hoya Suxa (and all Orange fans) happy. So I'd like to offer an apology, these things happen when I serve as my own editor - and I'm not a good editor. Go check the site out.

While we are here, that was a big win for Kansas tonight. I don't care if Blake Griffin didn't play, the Jayhawks have put together a very good season and unlike Syracuse, they are getting BETTER as the season goes along. When you look at what they are doing and what Memphis is doing (granted their conference stinks) it's ironic that if the season ended right now, Syracuse would get into the NCAA tournament BECAUSE of their out of conference schedule, instead of being crippled by it.

It doesn't make the season any less frustrating though.

Cats Too Big for the Orange

Yes, I'm running the same photo I ran yesterday because it fits. The Villanova Wildcats came up big once again, and when faced with a tough opponent, the Syracuse Orange came up small. In the end, its an 89-86 win and a season sweep for Nova.

I'm too tired to do any kind of in-depth recap, but here are a few thoughts:

* Kristof, Kristof, Kristof -- that was the best game the Waffle has played since he arrived in Syracuse last year. If everyone hustled and played as hard as this guy the Orange wouldn't be 7-7 in conference.

* I'm not sure if the guards are incapable of throwing an entry pass, or the big guys are incapable of properly sealing guys off and catching the ball - I'll leave that for you to decide.

* 39 three point attempts - my God. That is an early 1990s Loyola Marymount type of figure.

* Nova was able to win on the road without Scottie Reynolds going off - you have to hand it to them, they are a pretty damn good team.

* Jay Wright may be as good a coach as he is a dresser.

* Apparently Jonny Flynn has been sick - he didn't have a great game - so I can let that slide. What cannot slide is the fact that other guys have to step up when that happens. Being sick also doesn't cause you to repeatedly force drives in the lane when there's nothing there. Jonny did that too many times.

* I'd be willing to bet if each player on every Big East team were entered in a giant one on one tournament, Syracuse would put a couple of guys in the finals - because that's what this team does -- every game.

* I'm done ranting, let's go revel in the misery that is Georgetown basketball instead.

Syracuse - Villanova Live Chat

SU needs a win - let's do this thing. The chat will start at 1 PM. Pay no attention to the noon start time below, I'm an idiot.

Do NOT Question Jim Callhoun's Salary

In the post game press conference after yesterday's win over South Florida, some yahoo asked Jim Calhoun about his salary in light of Connecticut's budget deficit - hilarity ensues.

For what it's worth, we've made no secret of the fact that we don't exactly like Calhoun, but he's 100 percent right on this one. I have no doubt he's made a lot more money for that University than they've ever paid him. If you want more info on the situation, click here, or just enjoy Jim screaming at someone, your choice.

Saturday Tidbits

Advice of the day - watch out for big gray cats - they're scary

Here are a few interesting things floating around the Intertubes you might want to check out this morning - or don't - it's no sweat off my balls.

* Syracuse plays Villanova tomorrow and the cuse leads the all time series 30-29. Here's hoping they fend off the cats and keep the series lead.

*If Jon Kitna is traded, will God no longer like the Detroit Lions??? Uh wait a minute......

* Everyone should own one of these t-shirts.

* Here's a look at the 2009 McDonald's All American game.

* Here's a preview of bracket buster weekend, which is already underway.

* Speaking of which, I'll be at the Siena-Northern Iowa bracketbuster game today - I'll try and put a few pics up on twitter, but who knows if that will work out.

Programming Alert

I will be firing up a live chat for the SU-Villanova game on Sunday at 1 pm. So if you've reached the point in your life where it feels odd to watch a game without simultaneously being on the computer, stop back here, we'll help you out.

Your Fall Plans for the Next 3 Years are Set

The Daily Orange tells us that Syracuse has locked up its out of conference football schedule for the next three years.

Some of the highlights include 3 straight years of I-AA opponents, including Maine coming into the Carrier Dome in 2009 and 2010 and Rhode Island showing up in 2011. You have to love the Big East Conference - it's got too many basketball teams and not enough football teams, good times.

That aside, this rebuilding program will need those cupcakes as they've set an ambitious slate of games, featuring foes such as Washington (OK, they suck now, but the coach Steve Kakisian LOVES twitter, and anyone that loves twitter has to be a winner - unless he isn't) Virginia Tech, Boston College, Wake Forest and USC. There's no doubt this team is scheduling like a major program -- so maybe now we know why Coach Marrone hasn't left his office since he got here -- he's got his work cut out for him. Or maybe he's trying to figure out twitter, we have no idea.

All we know is that it feels good to look to the future with some hope and anticipation for the first time in a long time.

The Greatest.Event.Ever

OK folks, roll call time, who's headed to NYC with me for the Snuggie Pub Crawl? I say we get some of these stickers and personalize our Snuggies until the company wises up and starts making some orange ones. For more info, you can check out this article. I have no idea what a Snuggie pub crawl would look like, but if I had to guess, I'm going with something like this:



And if you've somehow missed this, here's your obligatory Snuggie parody video.

The Return of Sir Charles

With Charles Barkley is getting ready to make his return to the air Thursday night and expressing remorse for his drunken driving arrest, we thought it would be appropriate to add to the Barkley redemption tour in our own, belated, way.


A good friend of the three idiots Ryan Ritchie now lives and works in Florida and his place of employment is one of the sponsors of the Barkley, Bean, Bryant, and Friends golf event. Andy Bean and Brad Bryant of the Champions Tour are from Lakeland Florida, and Barkley has made an appearance for all four years the event has taken place. In doing so, Sir Charles has helped raise $725,000 for the youth golf facility.


So while in no way do we condone drinking and driving - and we especially don't condone telling the cops you are on your way to score a blow job after you've been pulled over, it's also fair to note Barkley does a lot of charitable things that aren't well publicized and is very giving of his time. We also hear he swears up a storm, which is OK by us. We're looking forward to him getting back on the air telling us how tur-a-ble some things are.


Below is Ryan and Chuck. One of the amazing things about the above article is that it notes Barkley has lost 30 pounds......so a little unsolicited advice Charles - get a DD and keep doing those push aways....from the table.

Did You Know?

Hey Bill, Someone's Still Looking For You

This post is actually probably more well suited for our new twitter page (how smooth was that? Did you see how I worked that plug in seamlessly? Why am I not a millionaire?) but did you know there's a blog called Searching for Billy Edelin? It's focused on college basketball in general, not Syracuse specifically and it's a good read. I noticed while over at TNIAAM - its part of the SBN network.

Ebay Item of the Week

With Champ on vacation with the family, it was up to me to dive into the strange and murky world of eBay sports collectibles looking for the eBay item of the week. The bastard better get home soon, it wasn't fun.

That having been said, if you're a sports fan there's been only one story dominating the headlines this week - Alex Rodriguez. So I figured prolonging our torture a little longer with another A-Rod item was only appropriate.

Well low and behold, after a little digging I found something everyone has been looking for since the news of his steroid use broke A-Rod and the truth, which is our eBay item of the week. If the media knew a moment of truth with A-Rod only cost $8.10, it could have saved us all a lot of time yesterday.

Twitter-Pressure

For weeks I've been meaning to set this dopey blog up on Twitter. With the social media landscape expanding, it only makes sense and hey, if we can add more readers and contribute to the dumbing down of society in the process, we are all for that.

So you can imagine our surprise when Donnie Webb actually beat us to Twitter. Nothing against Donnie, all of us are huge fans of his work, but he's an old school guy, so that told me we were behind the curve. Then Sean over at Nunes compiled some must-have Twitter feeds and that was that. We are officially behind, and we're OK with that because well, we're idiots.

But I am now proud to announce, we've caught up to the rest of pack and you can now check out the Three Idiots Twitter page and subscribe to our feed - because you really need to get a text message whenever we put up something new on this site....which may or may not involve calling someone a douchebag. Thank you to anyone who signs up. We'll "tweet' at you soon.

Random Rants, Ramblings, and Gear Grinding

It's been a while since I've really vented, so it's time to get some things off my chest. The following items are in no particular order -- I've decided to channel George Steinbrenner of the 80s and talk first, think second.

* My crappy HP notebook needs a new hard drive, which pisses me off and leads me to this question - who has you more bent over and at their mercy - the geeky computer dork from Best Buy or the mechanic at your auto dealer? Fixing computers not under warranty usually doesn't make any fiscal sense, but don't let them tell you that......little bastards.

* Does anyone really believe A-Rod is going to say ANYTHING remotely interesting today? Even though he's a huge drama queen he has to be smart enough to apologize, spout cliches, talk in circles and move on doesn't he? I mean he can't possibly be dumb enough to make more bad news for himself in front of 2 million media members who will be there to record it. Then again, nothing surprises me with him anyone.

* Speaking of which, I love the fact that reporters all over the country are "outraged" that A-Rod 'slandered' Selena Roberts, yet these same reporters are silent when news organizations get stories wrong and make ordinary people look bad. The correction on page A-12 doesn't have the same affect as the cover stories that's wrong. Grow up people and check the outrage at the door. A-Rod is a liar, everyone knows it. Disputing what he said is fine, but save the rightous indignation for more worthy issues.

* I finally saw The Express last week - I thought it was good, but not great. It could have been edited more tightly and from all accounts I've read, Ernie Davis was a far warmer, more likable personality than he came across as in the film. I'd give it B. I liked seeing how they recreated old Archbold Stadium though, that was cool.

* Speaking of sports on TV - I watched the premier of Eastbound & Down on HBO Sunday night, and while I love the premise -- the story is about washed out pitcher who is a cross between John Rocker and Mitch Williams bottoming out and ending up back in his old hometown -- I felt it was a little lazy. First of all, the lead character drops about 50 F bombs in a high school where he works, without anyone batting an eye; the baseball flashbacks feature actors playing athletes who are less coordinated than Stephen Hawking; and the female lead is kind of fat. Not a great start, but I'll give it another shot. It's certainly no Flight of the Conchords.

* As Boss pointed out in a comment on this post, Paul Harris absolutely needs to step up and play better if this SU team is going to have any shot at making a run this year. Paging Mr. Harris, you're wanted at Jim Boeheim Court.

* Anyone who thinks Luke Harangody is better than DeJuan Blair is either a hopeless Notre Dame fan or stupid. These two things are not mutually exclusive.

* What's funnier - former Eagle "Fred-Ex" Mitchell getting weed delivered to his barbecue joint or Jamal Anderson's bathroom antics? Discuss.

* The NFL scouting combine starts this week - you better open up the door and let Mel Kiper and Todd McShay in the door, because you don't have a choice.

Tim Floyd Needs a Hug - and a Dose of Reality

USC Coach Tim Floyd knows the U.S. is in trouble. Our economy is in shambles and no one really knows whether the stimulus package will fix it. Millions of Americans are without health care. The housing market is a mess. People are still putting microphones in front of Curt Schilling's fat face.......we've got issues people. Big issues. Issues we need our President to focus on.

Before he gets to any of the items above, and I hope making Schilling go away is first on his list, he's got a more important thing to do. Tim wants Obama to change something (what I have no idea) and allow college coaches to discuss officiating after games. Tim Floyd, proving dumb quotes are funnier than made up quotes since 1972.

Of course, when you act like a total asshole and manage to get tossed with under a minute to go in a close game, maybe the last thing you need to do is keep talking Timmy. As Brian Fantana once said to Champ Kind, "Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while."

Nice tirade though - as anyone that regularly reads this blog knows, we really appreciate stuff like this.

Name This Man

As we noted below, Eric Devendorf only had one turnover yesterday in a strong performance against Georgetown. However, the man is averaging 3.5 turnovers a game this year versus only 2.9 assists - not exactly the assist to turnover ratio you're going to brag about. So it's fair to say he's had a little trouble hanging on to the ball. In one of our live game chats, someone started calling him DevTO, which I thought was pretty accurate. However, our good friends over at Cuse Country have also coined a nickname for Mr. Devendorf, Unforced Eric - which I also find appealing.

However, we simply can't have a guy with multiple nicknames, it leads to confusion and in the case of Kristof! the Waffle, Ongenaet, it's clearly a factor in getting you ejected from games. As maddening as Eric can be, this team simply cannot afford to have him getting tossed -- so let's put this to a vote. Should his name be:

1. DevTO (pronounced - deev-T.O.) or


2. Unforced Eric

Leave your thoughts in the comments below -- because since the homoerotic photos of Devo have been shut down, we find other ways to constantly talk about him - it's in the bloggers hand book.

Jeff Reed Should Have Brought a Terrible Towel

It's hard to believe a guy that looks like Jeff Reed could even run afoul of the law, but apparently he did. According to reports, Reed was in a Sheetz at 2:50 in the morning and kicked the crap out of a towel dispenser because it didn't have any towels. Seems like harsh reaction to such a minor offense. When the same thing happens to me, I just store up my anger and take it out later on unsuspecting microphones, tape recorders and everything else on my desk.

Syracuse efeats the Hoyas

Yes, the headline is correct - there was no D for SU down the stretch in this one, as they hold on to defeat Georgetown 98-94 in overtime. If you are a fan of basketball in general and had no rooting interest in the game, it was exciting as hell. If you are an SU fan, it was maddening.

Sitting on my couch in my orange shirt (yes, I tried to 'Orange Out' my living room) I nearly lost my mind as Syracuse allowed Georgetown, a team averaging 71 points a game to score 62 in the second half and overtime. Luckily, Syracuse scored 65 and prevailed. Here are a few observations while they are fresh in my mind.

* I thought the ejection of the Waffle in the first half was uncalled for. It wasn't a good move by Kristof, but as Len Elmore pointed out, it certainly didn't appear to be intentional. Thabeet hit several SU guys with much worse shots on Wednesday, the only difference is no SU player ended up sprawled out on the floor.

* Giving up a 16 point lead that late in the game had shades of Pittsburgh written all over it. Last year SU basically missed the tournament by one win, it will be interesting to see if this was the win that will ultimately gets SU into the dance.

* DevTO (or Unforced Eric) had only one turnover today, but it almost cost them the game when he gave up the ball under his own basket with 35 seconds remaining. What he lacked in quantity, he made up for in quality - he's special like that.

* To be fair though, other than the bad TO and not contesting the 30 footer that tied the game hard enough, he had an excellent game. The 2 three pointers he hit in overtime were absolutely huge.

* Andy and Arinze both played well today - which is obviously vital to the hopes of this team. Onuaku looked healthier than he'd been in a long time and Rautins found his shot. Syracuse is very difficult to defend when those two guys get going. It's been awhile since they've both played well in the same game.

* The loudest the dome got today - after Arinze hit two free throws. He made up for it later with an airball at the line.

* 13 assists for Jonny Flynn -13. The rest of the team had 8 combined. Jesus he's good. If you replaced him with an average point guard - how many games would this team have won over the last two years? I'd guess not many.

* Georgetown's Nikita Mescheriakov - the poor man's Kristof Ongenaet. That's not a compliment.

* At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I think a little bit of man to man might have made it easier to close out on G'town's shooters as they rallied in the second half.

* SU now has an 8 day break until Villanova comes to the Dome next Sunday -- which Syracuse team will show up is anyone's guess. After this game I think most fans could use the break. In the meantime, I can assure you we're done with NASCAR posts.......

BEAT GEORGETOWN!

We don't like the Hoyas.  Go Cuse.

#1: Harry Gant Skoal Bandit 33 Car

Finally, the checkered flag.

With 35 points, Harry Gant's Skoal Bandit 33 car takes the HumpIdiot 500 as the best old school paint scheme.

Boss, "Skoal Bandit-- is it wrong for me to assume that if your name is Harry you like Skoal? I didn't think so."

Poncho, "The Skoal Bandit racer was the Green Machine back in his day. The Hump appreciates the validity of smokeless tobacco back in the day and Gant made it popular to put that "Chaw" in your mouth, earphones on your head, and that #33 on your shirt at the track."

Russianator, "Look kids, embrace this sport...and spitting."

Champ, "When I think NASCAR, I think Harry Gant and Skoal."

Thank God This Stupid Countdown Is Over:

1. Harry Gant (35)

2. Richard Petty (31)

3. Dale Earnhardt (23)

4. Daryl Waltrip (16)

5. Yarborough, Wallace, Trickle and Allison (15)

6. Stroker Ace (14)

7. Geoff Bodine (12)

8. Bill Elliot (11)

9 tie: Daryl Waltrip and Lightning McQueen (10)
10. Jeff Gordon (9)
11 tie: Cole Trickle and Alan Kulwicki (8)
12: Dale Earnhardt (7)
13 tie: Terry Labonte and Davey Allison(6)
14 tie: Jimmy Spencer and Ricky Bobby (5)
15. Ernie Irvan (4)
16: Kyle Petty Mello Yello 42 Car (3)
17 tie: Terry Labone Piedmont Airlines 44 Car (2)
17 tie: Bobby Allison Gatorade 88 Car (2)
18 tie: Larry Lambert and Ward Burton (1)

#2: The King Richard Petty STP 43 Car

This is the only list The King finished #2 on.

And taking the #2 spot on the HumpIdiot 500 is Richard Petty's 43 STP car.

Captain, "You don't even have to watch racing. If someone says 'Richard Petty' you know he drove cars. The car's paint is legendary...baby blue and red."

Russianator, "It would be number one....but....Burt and chicken."

Poncho, "If you didn't have this Matchbox car growing up, you were not a "real" child of the '80s. The King ruled stock car racing and his big hat was the flagship of all that is Good Ole Boy racing. He was President of the Confederacy and was apparently a real nice Gent."

Champ, "Statue of Liberty, Mount Rushmore, Golden Gate Bridge and the STP Car. Americana."

#3: Dale Earnhardt Wrangler 15 Car

Brett Favre is not worthy of wearing Wranglers.

Earning our bronze medal with 23 HumpIdiot points is Dale's 15 Wrangler car.

Poncho, "Before Wrangler Jeans were Real.Comfortable.Jeans, they were the moniker for The Intimidator. Brett Favre had nothing on the Senior Earnhardt when it came to being the Tour de Force on the racetrack. Though his car was not yet Intimidator Black yet, his yellow and blue ride had enough scrapes and dents to prove his worth."

Russianator, "The yellow and blue kicked ass, way better than the black #3-- I said it."

Champ, "This car just looks rough."

#4: Daryl Waltrip Tide 17 Car

Poncho, "Do you remember where you were when DW introduced his bright neon #17 Tide car? Me neither, but I do remember this was the first car that looked like my downhill ski's. He brough chic to NASCAR and a decent grade laundry detergent into the homes of millions of Southerners."

Captain, "This car really had the eye pop appeal back in the day. Really the most colorful car of hte day. I believe Jeff Gordon's paint guys took this design and ran with it."

Champ, "This car would kick Sunggle Bear's @ss any day of the week."

Who Wants to Rant?

Here's my analysis of the Syracuse - UConn game -- Connecticut is a better team. Syracuse was picked at the beginning of the year to finish 8th in the conference and guess what, right now they are 8th. We may have had our expectations raised a little at the beginning of the year, but right now this is team that was expected to be in the middle of the pack, and that's right there where they are. In paraphrased words of Dennis Green - they are who we thought they are.

How do we feel about it? We'll let this compilation of some great coaching rants tell the story:

#5: Logjam

God almighty this stupid countdown ends tonight. We've got a four-way tie for the #5 spot on the HumpIdiot 500 countdown of the best old school paint schemes in Nascar. Let's go:

It looks as good as High Life is bad.

First up, the Bobby Allison Miller High Life #12. She earned 15 HumpIdiot points along with the other cars stuck here at #5.

Captain, "All gold with white, green and red throughout. My first car I ever followed since my dad worked at Miller's. If you were creative enough, you could lay the 12oz. bottle on its side and it would look like the car. No wait, I was just drunk."

Russianator, "One of the most disgusting beers ever, but one of the best cars. And yes, Bobby is on my list twice-- he kicked ass."

Champ, "That gold paint shined nicely."

Dick Trickle, American icon.

Also earning 15 points on our countdown, the Dick Trickle #90 Heilig Myers Furniture car.

Boss, "Dick Trickle...his mom and dad didn't think that one through."

Poncho, "Awesome name, horrible sponsor. The name alone vaults him into the top spot."

"Ain't nothin' Rusty 'bout him."

The yellow and black Rusty Wallace MGD car also earned 15 points.

Boss, "Black/gold, enough said." Editor's note: Boss is a rabid Steelers fan.

Poncho, "Crips. Cold. Clean. This black and gold #2 car was the Car Ramrod of the Winston Cup Circuit. Rusty didn't give a damn who you were and he would run you over in style. Heading into the '90s he would eventually switch over to the blue and white of Miller Lite, but we had that black dagger to remember the good old days of MGD and Sir Rusty Wallace."

Champ, "Loved this car, but I was torn....Rusty's Kodiak car almost got my vote.

Legend Cale Yarborough's 28 Hardees Car finds its way into the 5 spot as well.

Captain, "Half orange + half white = all awesome. Still love watching the fight between him and Allison. Legendary driver, one of my favorites."

Poncho, "Cale Yarborough is racing. This sonfa bitch traded blows with many of NASCAR's elite back in the day. He drove the Hardees car, which was the precursor of Chick-Fil-A generation down in the dirty. He was also in Smokey and the Bandit and in a couple episodes of the Dukes of Hazzard."

Russianator, "Not enough people named Cale anymore."

#6: Stroker Ace Chicken Pit 7 Car

Stroker was robbed of an Academy Award.

14 points earns the Stroker Ace Chicken Pit car the #6 spot on our countdown.

Russianator, "Burt Reynolds + Chicken = Gold."

Champ, "Jim Nabors: Pit Chief Lugs Harvey, Gomer Pyle and recording artist (see below). The man is a legend, and this car kicks @ss!"

Ebay Item of the Week

And I settled for an Escalade limo at my wedding.

It's HumpIdiot 500 week here at T3I, so our Ebay Item of the Week joins in on the fun. She's a beauty .

#7: Geoff Bodine Levi Garrett 5 Car

I'll be honest, Levi Garrett is a great fake racing name.

With 12 points, the pride of Chemung County Geoff Bodine finds his #5 Levi Garrett car at the number 7 spot on the HumpIdiot 500 countdown.

Boss, "I never knew who Mr. Garrett was until VH1's Behind the Music....oh wait a minute that was Leif. Still a great yellow/white paint scheme."

Poncho, "Mr. Bodine drove the first car that had a sponsor I was able to partake in the product. I first tried chewing tobacco when I was 13 years old before my Babe Ruth All-Star game. Geoffrey was also the only driver from Upstate New York in a pack of Southern hooligans. A Yankee done good with the Good Old Boys."

Champ, "I'm a big fan of that Old West, Wanted Poster type font they used on this beauty."

No Live Chat Tonight

I apologize for interrupting this 1980s Nascar blog with a non-racing announcement, but we can't do a live chat for the SU-UConn game tonight. Check with Rob Long Wears Superman Underoos or feel free to leave comments over at NunesMagician or on this post. In the meantime, enjoy the Beat UConn word cloud I created. Go SU.

#8: Bill Elliot Coors 9 Car

The Bill Elliot #9 Coors Ford Thunderbird checks in at the #8 spot on the HumpIdiot 500 countdown. Beer and tobacco, now we're talking racing.

Captain, "I remember watching the Atlanta race in '88 with my dad when he was going for the championship. The two things I noticed about that car, good looking paint and all gold rims. Who did that back then? This is way before Michael Johnson."

Poncho, "The four words that changed racing: Awesome Bill from Dawsonville. This Coors car was fan favorite of racecar loyalists from Darlington to Talladega. A true southern gentleman that always was in the front of the pack during the '80s."

Champ, "You really can't go wrong with a red scheme. Toss on a beer logo and you're bound to score high on our list."

The not-so best of the rest:

9 tie: Daryl Waltrip and Lightning McQueen (10)

10. Jeff Gordon (9)

11 tie: Cole Trickle and Alan Kulwicki (8)

12: Dale Earnhardt (7)

13 tie: Terry Labonte and Davey Allison(6)

14 tie: Jimmy Spencer and Ricky Bobby (5)

15. Ernie Irvan (4)

16: Kyle Petty Mello Yello 42 Car (3)

17 tie: Terry Labone Piedmont Airlines 44 Car (2)

17 tie: Bobby Allison Gatorade 88 Car (2)

18 tie: Larry Lambert and Ward Burton (1)

#9 tie: DW Mountain Dew 11 Car and Lightning McQueen Rustees Bumper Care 95 Car

We've cracked the Top 10 and it's time for another tie. With 10 points, Daryl Waltrip's #11 Mountain Dew car shares the #9 position in the HumpIdiot 500 countdown of the best "old school" paint schemes in NASCAR. Another great call here by our lost idiot, Boss. We love the font in that old Dew logo.

Boss, "Paint scheme was so great it almost made Mountain Dew drinkable."

The HumpIdiot 500 is all about giving back to the kids.

Tying good old DW is the Lightning McQueen 95 car from the Disney flick Cars. Captain, do tell:

Captain, "I have kids, this movie is on 14 hours/day in my house. Seriously a good looking car, and it would be one of the better looking cars of today if someone would have the stones to paint their car like this. Not to mention, he's got groupies that flash him (twin Miatas no less) with their high beams. Just cool."

#10: Jeff Gordon Dupont 24 Car (2009)

The car, the car, the car is on fire.

It's Top 10 time on this crappy countdown, and landing at this spot with 9 points is Jeff Gordon's 2009 version of his car. Again, technically this car may fail to be "old school," but we're not going to let that stop us. Our good friend the Captain threw this one on his ballot.

Captain, "I am by no means a Jeff Gordon fan. This car is seriously good looking. Black,orange, yellow and red flames....I would paint my car like this if I could, without the sponsorship badging of course."

Deadspin Made Me Do it

With our collective man-crush on new Syracuse head coach Doug Marrone still in the honeymoon stage, we can sit back at laugh at the foibles of other guys who were rumored to be candidates for the Syracuse job. No one has had a rougher - and more self inflicted - start to his tenure than Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin.

So when Deadspin put up this post about the latest uproar over Lane's antics, and closed it with the line, "However, I would like to buy a "Lame" Kiffin t-shirt if you have one," I felt it was my duty to comply. The shirts below are on sale at our Zazzle store - have at it.

#11 tie: Alan Kulwicki Hooters 7 Car and Cole Trickle City Chevy 46 Car

Nice rack (and pinion).

With 8 points, Alan Kulwicki's Hooters car finds itself tied for the #11 spot on this studpid countdown. For the record, I am floored that our good friend The Captain didn't have this beauty on his list. If there's someone who enjoys Hooters more than him, I say hogwash!

Poncho, "If your car is sponsored by Hooters, we are immediate fans. The late Kulwicki always had about a dozen or so Buxom Blondes waiting for him after a race. Could you imagine him walking into a Hooters back in the day? Talk about pick of the litter."

Editor's Note: My Make-A-Wish application to transport me back in time to enter a Hooters with Mr. Kulwicki was denied.

Tom Cruise, stock car driver. This was believable in the '80s.

Cole Trickle's second entry on the countdown is his 46 City Chevy ride.

Captain, "Harry I'm dropping the hammer. Chills people, chills. Always liked the green/yellow/black combo on this car. I still watch this movie every chance I get. It's Top Gun with four wheels."

How about a Japanese guy reviewing the Days of Thunder video game for NES? Ask and you shall receive:

#12: Dale Earnhardt GM Goodwrench 3 Car

#12???? A bunch of no-good Ford lovers must have compiled this list.

With 7 points, the late Dale Earnhardt holds down the #12 spot on the HumpIdiot 500 countdown of the best old school NASCAR paint schemes.

Boss, "Classic scheme...Yankees like."

Captain, "Now I know what you're saying....what is cool about an all-black car with a white #3? My answer is...everything. Look, if you were ahead of him and looked back in the mirror and saw GM Goodwrench backwards you had two options: 1) race him and get put into the corner, or 2) move up and let him pass."

Not-so best of the rest:

13 tie: Terry Labonte and Davey Allison(6)

14 tie: Jimmy Spencer and Ricky Bobby (5)

15. Ernie Irvan (4)

16: Kyle Petty Mello Yello 42 Car (3)

17 tie: Terry Labone Piedmont Airlines 44 Car (2)

17 tie: Bobby Allison Gatorade 88 Car (2)

18 tie: Larry Lambert and Ward Burton (1)

#13 tie: Terry Labonte Cornflakes 5 Car and Davey Allison Havoline (White) 28 Car

Another flippin tie? Only in a countdown brought to you, in part, by this crappy blog. Anyways, we forge ahead:

"Cock-a-doodle doo!"

This is the second time "Texas Terry" landed on our list, this time with 6 HumpIdiot Points.


Russianator, "I have no idea how old this car is, but the rooster ruled."


Champ, "Love the big rooster. This car was a helluva lot more colorful than a box of cornflakes. I'm a bit shocked Poncho didn't vote for this one based on Terry's Hall of Fame mustahce."

You couldn't pay me enough to drive the jinxed 28 car.

Matching Terry Labonte is the late Davey Allison's "white" version of the 28 Havoline car. I've got to give Boss credit here for throwing this one on his list.

Boss, "Much better than the later version."

Not-so best of the rest:

14 tie: Jimmy Spencer and Ricky Bobby (5)

15. Ernie Irvan (4)

16: Kyle Petty Mello Yello 42 Car (3)

17 tie: Terry Labone Piedmont Airlines 44 Car (2)

17 tie: Bobby Allison Gatorade 88 Car (2)

18 tie: Larry Lambert and Ward Burton (1)

Just Because

Because it's Monday, I'm sick of the A-Rod story already, and we could all use a laugh.

Thanks Gato Island.

Syracuse Needs to See the Wizard

Since Saturday's really ugly loss to Villanova I've spent a lot of time pondering what's wrong with our beloved Syracuse Orange basketball team.

As you can imagine, this has been a lot work. I don't like to think - it hurts my head. My idea of dissecting a tough situation is trying to figure out why Coach Bobby Finstock never got a shot at coaching a big time school. He couldn't have been any worse than Dave Bliss. Bobby never would have got caught up in a scandal like that. This is a man that offered up the best advice I've ever heard:

"There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."

If there's a better motto to live your life by contact me, because I certainly haven't heard it.

With that digression over, we get back to the heart of the matter - what's wrong with the team? After much consternation, I've decided I don't have the answer. On paper, this team has enough talent. It has 3 capable guards who can spread the floor and shoot threes, it has a rugged wing player who can attack the glass on both ends, it has a couple of talented big men, and it's got a guy that can come off the bench, hustle and do some dirty work. They even have a freshman who has been struggling, but has a lot of talent and a well rounded game.

They have size and athletic ability, but right that is meaningless. They don't play defense, they go through long stretches in games marked by turnovers and mental errors and they can't win on the road.

The problem is beyond any rational analysis, because the main struggle is between the player's ears. They aren't always playing hard, they aren't always playing smart and the team chemistry seems a touch off. Some teams come together, some do not. Some teams play as one unit and play for each other, some play as individuals. Right now they are playing as mildly disinterested individuals.

From the outside looking in, there is no simple fix to the problem. Changing defenses or juggling starting line ups or waiting for someone to get healthy are not the answers for what ails this team. It's more complex than that. So I'd propose the only solution I think will help right now -- the entire team needs to see the Wizard of Oz. They need to ask for a heart, a brain, and some courage and as far as I know, he's the only person I know peddling those goods (your neighborhood meth dealer doesn't count).

This team needs to show heart on the defensive end of the floor. It needs to play with more effort, and not quit like they did at the end of the Villanova game. It needs a brain on the offensive end of the floor, so they'll be smart enough to value the ball and not commit needless turnovers (I'm talking to you Devendorf). And this team needs courage on the road. They need to go into an opposing team's arena and snatch a game away they shouldn't win - like they did to Kansas earlier in the season.

We know they possess all of these qualities, they showed us as much during their early season success. Here's hoping Boeheim has the Wizard's number - because the NIT is for Dorothy and Toto - and no one likes those two losers.

#14 tie: Jimmy Spencer McDonald's 27 Car and Ricky Bobby Wonderbread 26 Car

Let the racin' continue.

Checking in for a tie, each with five points, at the #14 spot on the HumpIdiot 500 countdown of the best old school NASCAR paint schemes are "Mr. Excitement" Jimmy Spencer and Walker/T.R.'s dad.

Usually the most exciting question was, how many cars would Jimmy take out?

Russianator, "A fat guy who always crashed...Mr. Excitement, sign me up."

Captain, "All chrome with red, yellow, and blue flames and the Wonderbread logo on the hood. Shake and bake baby, whooooo!!!"

Editor's Note: Technically might be outside of the "old school HumpIdiot Era", but then again we've never been sticklers for rules.

The Rest of the List

15. Ernie Irvan (4)
16: Kyle Petty Mello Yello 42 Car (3)
17 tie: Terry Labone Piedmont Airlines 44 Car (2)
17 tie: Bobby Allison Gatorade 88 Car (2)
18 tie: Larry Lambert and Ward Burton (1)

Cuse-UConn: Idiot's Prescription

The odds certainly may be against our beloved Orangemen come Wednesday night. Coming off a defensive performance reminiscent of the French Army, the Cuse have a date with the #1 team in the country and enemy of the idiots, the UCONN Huskies.

Kinda sounds like a down-on-his-luck club fighter from Philly who once got a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship. If I'm Jimmy B., I'm blasting "Survivor's Greatest Hits" in practice to get the team fired up:



PS- UCONN fans suck

#15: "Swervin" Ernie Irvan Kodak 4 Car

If your asking yourself, 'Has this crappy blog turned into a NASCAR site?'....we assure you, no. We're just busy celebrating the HumpIdiot 500 as we countdown the best paint schemes of the "old school" NASCAR era. Relax, we're trying to have this stupid countdown done by Sunday's big race.

Checking in at #15 on our list, with a total of 4 HumpIdiot points is the #4 Kodak Chevy Lumina of Ernie Irvan.

Poncho, "Rubbing is racing. Swervin Ernie epitomized bang 'em up racing and all the while, the drivers were worried that the Kodak disk would tag them. He had a great 'stache and was an outspoken, brash guy who liked the ladies."

The Complete List
15. Ernie Irvan (4)
16: Kyle Petty Mello Yello 42 Car (3)
17 tie: Terry Labone Piedmont Airlines 44 Car (2)
17 tie: Bobby Allison Gatorade 88 Car (2)
18 tie: Larry Lambert and Ward Burton (1)

#16: Kyle Petty Mello Yello 42 Car

Kyle's 3 HumpIdiot Points earns him the #16 spot on our countdown.

Checking in at #16 on the HumpIdiot 500 countdown of the best old school paint schemes in NASCAR is the Kyle Petty Mello Yellow 42 car. Quick aside--- has anyone actually ever tried Mello Yello? If so, please leave us a full review in the comments section.

Boss, "Xerox of the #51 Mello Yello in Days of Thunder...hard to imagine noboby copied the City Chevrloet #46."

The Complete List

16: Kyle Petty Mello Yello 42 Car (3)
17 tie: Terry Labone Piedmont Airlines 44 Car (2)
17 tie: Bobby Allison Gatorade 88 Car (2)
18 tie: Larry Lambert and Ward Burton (1)