Harris Calls an Audible, Devo "Unduly Knocked"

Just two days ago there were reports Paul Harris was headed to Cleveland to begin his quest to make an NBA roster. Well, in typical Harris fashion, things are never quite as they seem. There are new reports tonight he's decided to follow Jonny Flynn to Minnesota instead.

Harris has confirmed the report with Ryan Miller - so Jonny and Paul will continue their basketball odyssey together for at least the summer.

There's still no word on Eric Devendorf's future - Mike Waters reports he's weighing his options.

However, three guys from something called the Utica Daily News (I didn't know it existed either) discussed Devendorf''s future a week and a half ago and one of the guys in the clip thinks Eric might be getting "unduly knocked" because he's white. He also compares his skills to Ben Gordon, which tells you all you need to know about the guy's ability to analyze basketball players, but have a listen - the accents alone make it worthwhile.

Vote early, vote often

In my inbox today, courtesy of the Darryl Gross Propaganda Machine.

Can you imagine Kool Moe Dee Gross's acceptance speech?

Get Your Fix

Last Friday I was a guest on Matt Mc's Sports Fix on WNER ESPN radio 1410 in Watertown. Matt's show has addded an extra hour and he was kind enough to have me on to babble about the NBA draft. You can listen to the entire show going to the Sports Fix Podcast Center on the right hand side and clicking on the 6-26-09 show. I'd like to thank Matt for having me on, as always, it was a lot of fun. Whether it was a lot of fun for the listeners.....well I'll let someone else decide that.

R.I.P. Billy

You put the "Glo" in the Syracuse Orange.

LeBron, Shaq and Paul Harris

According to his AAU coach and Syracuse.com, Paul Harris has accepted an offer to play for the Cleveland Cavaliers summer league team. The NBA Summer league is the first opportunity players get to earn an invitation to an NBA training camp in the fall.

Everyone knows the Cavs made a big splash this week by adding Shaquille O'Neal, but according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the Cavs are expected to use their mid-level exception to pursue players in this year's depressed free agent market.

Cleveland's loss to Orlando in the conference finals highlighted the need to get LeBron James more help, especially on the offensive end, so Cleveland isn't exactly loaded with solid role players, giving Harris a chance to make the team. Unfortunately, their needs (offense) don't exactly mesh well with what Harris brings to the table (defense, rebounding, hustle).

However, Mike Brown loves athletic defensive players so while it's a long shot, I wouldn't be completely surprised if Harris found a spot for himself on this roster - which will do doubt experience some significant changes by the time the next season rolls around.

Jonny Flynn, Please Call Kevin Love ASAP

Minnesota Timberwolves forward Kevin Love has become quite the twittering sensation. Last week he broke the news that Kevin McHale was out at T'wolves GM and coach. Minnesota has denied reports he is going to be traded, so it is important Kevin get in touch with his teammates, including new point guard Jonny Flynn. The problem is Love doesn't have Jonny's contact info, so he took to his twitter page to see if he could track Jonny down. Since we here at T3I don't have Jonny on speed dial, we'll toss this out and see if any of you out there can help.

Fat Guy Friday

Just so everyone knows, I'm wearing one glove as I type this in honor of one of the most successful and creepy dudes to ever walk the planet, Michael Jackson.

With baseball season in full swing it seems appropriate to feature a baseball player on this week's edition of Fat Guy Friday. Lucky for us, there have been plenty of fat baseball players over the years, unluckily for you, there aren't many videos or pictures of Terry Forster out there to cobble together a Fat Guy Friday feature, trust me, I've looked.

This week's fat guy is legendary Yankee bust and fat toad, Hideki Irabu. As you can see from the picture below, not only does Hideki carry around a few extra pounds, he's got some great poofy hair.



Irabu came to the Yankees in 1997 after a very successful career in Japan, but never lived up the hype. As a Yankee he compiled a 29-20 record before getting shipped to the Montreal Expos of all places. After a less than successful stint north of the border, he finished his major league career with a short stop in Texas, pitching for the Rangers. His overall major league record is 34-35 record, with a 5.15 ERA. Frank Costanza sums up the feelings of Yankee fans best in this clip:



While no longer in the majors, Irabu made news last summer after he was arrested for pushing a bartender up against a wall after downing 20 beers. Apparently the fat man's credit card was rejected, sending him into a fit of rage. You don't build a gut like this without slamming back a few beers - trust me, I know.



This spring, Irabu made news by announcing plans for a comeback and signing with the Long Beach Armada of the Independent Golden Baseball League. Some bad footage of the press conference announcing his signing is below (Hideki is sticking with the awful hair) but so far things haven't been going too well for him.



So, while it's doubtful the fat toad will ever pitch again in the big leagues, at least he made his mark as one of the biggest busts in Yankee history, thanks Hideki.

Ebay Items of the Week: Rico Suave and some dude's 22 year old tshirt

Yeah, yeah, yeah....we're a day late with this week's Ebay Item of the Week. So for you loyal readers out there (all 3 of you) we're giving you a special 2-for-1 this week.

First up......break out your Gerardo CD's.....because every Cuse fan needs their own genuine rico (suave) leather checkbook cover.

For Orange fans reliving the 1987 Final Four is about as much fun as genital herpes. However if you are game enough feel free to bid on this guy's 22 year old tshirt.

And since we're reliving 1987, Axe here you go buddy. The #1 hits of '87:




Some '87 thoughts:

* This entire clip sounds exactly like the current Y94 playlist.

* I have no idea who "Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam" were. But two #1 hits? Really? Anyone, Lisa Lisa?

* Apparently the key to getting a top hit this year was getting your song featured in a movie.

* Greatest special effects ever...Kim Wilde at the 3:30 mark (smoke machine...check, hand coming down from the ceiling....check.....guy busting through the set...check.)

* U2....that's one damn good record.

* Do you think Chuck Finley owns that Whitesnake album?

* Huey Lewis and The News.......you can't forget about The News.

A Very Important Lesson

Dan Steinberg of the Sporting blog reports that fans of the Washington Nationals may have sent visiting Red Sox fans to gay bars. Since this happened to Red Sox fans, I find this completely hilarious, but it does teach us all an important lesson - never go to fans of the opposing team for recommendations on ANYTHING.

Now I was unaware that the Washington Nationals had any fans, but my hats off to that abused fan base, what your team lacks in talent, its fans make up for in wit - at least for one day. Standard Seinfeld disclaimer - not that there's anything wrong with a gay bar, but I'm guessing that's not what the chowderheads had in mind.

Scariest. Baseball. Analyst. Ever

So I was surfing the internet tonight, trying to find some material for Fat Guy Friday and I stumbled upon the video below. It is from last fall and is done by someone named Frankie Love. It's equal parts terrifying and disturbing - in other words, I had to pass it along. Fair warning, the dude drops about 5,000 F bombs throughout the course of the video, so be careful, he makes Artie Lange seem clean - but I couldn't pull myself away.

Bernie Kosar Cuts Bread With a Saw

Whatever your feelings are on Dan Le Batard the TV personality (I don't mind him) Dan Le Batard the writer has been one of the best in the business for a very long time. Today he delivers a terrific and revealing feature piece on how former University of Miami and Cleveland Brown quarterback Bernie Kosar's life has turned into a giant mess. It is a terrific read - check it out - the title of this post will then make sense.

Oregon Continues to Raise the Ugly Uniform Bar

Since Syracuse ditched the great McNabb era uniforms four years ago things have been a little rough in Syracuse uniform land. They started with these uniforms, then decided to try the all orange pumpkin look, and have waffled on color combos. Last year the train got back on the tracks with these uniforms, which frankly aren't too bad.

Even though we aren't sure what this year's uniforms will look like, there is no way any changes will hold a candle to the hideous apparel the University of Oregon uses to outfit their players.

So, in news that is as predictable and comforting as the changing of the seasons, Oregon's new uniforms are out, and they are still terrible. And not only are they terrible, they come in a million combinations of bad. The Orlando Sentinel reports that there are 80 helmet, jersey and pant combinations available to them. Or 79 more combos than Alabama. Here are a few, you can check out the full collection here.

More Fun With Cleveland

This video comes courtesy of Ethan Jaynes Twitter feed and his blog and once again clowns on Cleveland, which I thoroughly enjoyed....



Of course, I'm sure Sam Wyche approves. Tell 'em Sam:

The Validation of the Good Doctor - Sort of

Today Deadspin brings us up to date on the USC hiring of Kevin O'Neill as their next head basketball coach. Personally I think its a great hire if you're looking for a coach who will win 17 games a year and be working somewhere else in 2012, but that's just me. Don't go pre-ordering those NCAA Championship hats yet Trojan fans.

The point of the Deadspin post was USC Athletic Director Mike Garrett's hiring record, which he defended in the press conference announcing O'Neil. As the L.A. Times points out, despite Garrett's assertions to the contrary, his record isn't something you want to shout from the hill tops, but does include the hiring of Pete Carroll.

Syracuse fans are all too familiar with Athletic Director Daryl Gross' claims he played a large part in bringing Pete to LA. While we all acknowledge he must have had some role in the hiring, with the Good Doctor, it's always a little tough to figure out what's fact and what's hyperbole. However, the Times story today does indeed give him a lot of credit for the hiring saying:

"Garrett eventually hired Carroll, but only after the coach lobbied hard to get the job -- with help from senior associate athletic director Daryl Gross. Garrett swung and missed at Dennis Erickson, Mike Riley and perhaps even Mike Bellotti before turning to Carroll."

So while the Good Doctor did indeed help bring Carroll to LA, by association he also had a hand in many of Garrett's other failures which are noted in the article above. It also goes without saying he brought Greg Robinson, a one man, program killing wrecking ball to Syracuse......so they sort of cancel each other out.

While we're here, what is it with athletic directors from Southern California and the use of the word "I" anyway?

In speaking about O'Neil, Garrett said - "Kevin was my first choice because when I started talking to him, he's the one that I wanted to have. He's the guy who fit what I needed." Way to work in the needs of the school there Mikey boy.

We know Daryl likes to make hiring coaches about him as well. Must be a Southern California thing.

Who is Going to Guard the Wolf?

One the Three Idiots longest standing and most idiotic internal debates centers around the age old question - if the Teen Wolf basketball team played the team from Porky's, who would win? For at least the last 12 years this debate has raged among us.

I have taken the position that the Teen Wolf team would easily handle the losers from Porkys, as they have no one than can stop the Wolf. Champ has taken the flawed position that the Porky's team would prevail, contending that other than the Wolf, no one else on team Teen Wolf can beat you. Basically he's saying Teen Wolf is the mid 1980s Chicago Bulls and you "let the wolf go off."

So where am I going with this? Hollywood, in their infinite creativity and wisdom is reportedly thinking about remaking Teen Wolf. Its bad enough they are going to remake Footloose, but remaking on the quintessential basketball movie of the 1980s? (that was sarcasm people, sarcasm - no dumb Hoosier comments below please) In the words of John McEnroe, you cannot be serious.

According to the web site Movie Hole, Warner Brothers is thinking of remaking the film but "is not quite certain which way they are going to go." While I do not condone remaking this film under any circumstances, Hollywood has yet to call me up and ask my opinion on which films should get made and which shouldn't and I don't expect them to start any time soon, so let's assume this thing gets remade. Where do we go from here? Well, I have some advice - and here it is.

1. Cast someone who can actually dribble a basketball. While everyone loves Michael J. Fox, casting a Canadian midget who can't dribble without staring at the floor and has the free throw motion of an epileptic didn't quite work.



2. Cast a "Stunt Wolf" the same size as the actor who will play the Scott Howard character. As you can see in the clip below, the Stunt Wolf is at least half a foot taller than Michael J. Fox - and no I'm not buying the fact that transforming into a wolf made the character taller.



3. Upgrade Boof - both in name and in casting. First, let's start with the name. The writers decided that the love interest of the lead character would be named Boof. Really? Was Spooge suggested and shot down? Also, Boof was supposed to be the "girl next door" type, but Susan Ursitti didn't really have the goods to get it done, and judging by her post-Teen Wolf career, I'm not alone this assessment. Sorry Boof, you didn't get the job done.

4. More Coach Bobby Finstock. In addition to leading the team to their improbable victory over the Dragons with Scott, not the wolf, running the point, the man coined the greatest piece of advice I've ever heard of in my life -- "There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."

If Bill Walton had played for Bobby Finstock instead of John Wooden, just imagine how much better the world would be. Bill could have spent the last 20 years as a TV commentator talking about Finstock's life lessons instead of Wooden's more traditional views.....the world would have been a better place. As such, Finstock deserves more screen time in the remake.



5. No remakes of Teen Wolf Too. Jason Bateman has been hitting it out of the park lately - looking at that one hurts.

This is Impressive

Courtesy of our friends at Zoner Sports comes this video of a pretty insane shot made by an eighth grader in Ohio. Sounds like a recruiting trip to the midwest is in order - get Mike Hopkins out there immediately.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Fat Guy Friday

Welcome to Fat Guy Friday - where we take a deeper look at some of your favorite fat athletes. This week, in honor of the US Open, let's focus on a player who isn't in the tournament - no, not John Daly, this week's Fat Guy Friday honors Tim Lumpy Herron.

Lumpy is generously listed as 5'10" and 210 pounds the official PGA Tour site, but if you believe that, you also probably believe Paul Harris was actually his listed height of 6"5". In the interview below, Lumpy certainly looks heavier than 210:




Lumpy has won 4 times on tour, most recently winning the Bank of America Colonial in 2006. The tournament has since changed sponsors and is now known as the Crowne Plaza Invitational.

While not in this year's field, Tim has played in 12 US Opens and has the distinction of being the 3rd generation of his family to play in the tournament. His father played in the 1963 Open and his grandfather played in the 1936 tournament. qualified in US Open.

Lumpy got his nickname in high school - as he explains here:



And Lumpy can play some golf - here he is chunking a chip shot out of the bunker, then making an improbable par:




And Lumpy also happens to be a really good guy, anyone who helps sick kids and their families is OK in my book.

Is Beano Cook on Twitter?

Of everyone that is taking part in the social networking site that is Twitter (follow us here) the last person we'd expect to join the craze would be Beano Cook.

The self proclaimed curmudgeon doesn't strike us as the "tweeting" type, but low and behold, there's a Twitter Page set up for Beano. Judging by the tweets to date, it's hard to believe it's actually him -- it seems more like a Tony LaRussa situation, then again that is the beauty of Beano. He's so old an insane, there's the possibility, however slight, it could actually be him. Check it out for yourself, but the first tweet is "Tebow, I'm done waxing your car, what next?"

I can see a NotDougMarrone - Beano Cook twitter battle in the near future.

Ebay Item of the Week: Did Otto knock up a Care Bear?

Brand identity has been a struggle up on the hill. From the dropping of the "men" in Orangemen to the Nike influenced "SJ" logo, things haven't gone smoothly. Over the years, the Orange have gone few quite a few logo makeovers. Don't believe me? Take a peak here.

Recently "Angry Otto" started showing up on Cuse merchandise. And I'll be honest....the p*ssed off fruit has kind of slowly grown on me. However, someone clue me on this piece of work. Whatever the hell the thing up above is can be found on a window cling as this week's Ebay Item of the Week.

I don't know much, but I guarantee you'd never see this thing on a bad-ass Honda Odyssey parked outside of Manley.

Just in Time for Summer

Have you ever had a to shut down a ripping good game of beer pong because it was simply too hot and you HAD to take a dip in the pool? Have you ever struggled to come up with enough players for your beer pong tournament because too many of your friends were busy ogling hot chicks around the pool? Do you just need a new way to get completely bombed while swimming this summer?


Well your prayers are answered - the good people at Tailgating Ideas have announced that the Port-o-Pong Pro is now available!


The inflatable beer pong raft is perfect for those aquatic excursions or for those tailgaters who are tired of using the plain portable table set up before games.




We'd advise Michigan fans to consider investing in these - being sober and watching a Greg Robinson lead defense isn't advisable.

Win a Free Golf Bag

Anyone with an interest in the US Open and in need of a new golf bag should head over to Matt Mc's Sports Fix before 10 am Thursday, because Matt is running a contest - pick the winner of the tournament and win a free golf bag. That's all you have to do, it doesn't get much simpler than that. In the event of a tie - which seems inevitable - the winner will be determined through a raffle. Good luck.

Golf and Rap - the Perfect Combination

Golfing and hip hop go together like peanut butter and tuna fish....and the following "US Open rap" has all the elements you'd think of when you put the two together.

Goofy white teenager - check.

Horrific $2 sunglasses - check.

Lame beat - check.

Lyrics that rhyme with Brian Gay - of course.

You put it all together and you've got one fun, trainwreck of a video. Don't let me be the judge, check it out for yourself.

Artie Lange Owns Joe Buck

Before we start, the first clip below is Not Safe For Work - not even a little bit. So if you are at a place where people are offended by the F word, gay jokes, and angel dust references, just keep scrolling down the page to where Doug Marrone talks about driving a mini-van.

Joe Buck debuted a new TV show on HBO last night - and it pretty much sucked until Artie Lange of the Howard Stern show came on for the last segment and took over the show. This is a good thing, since Buck is basically a pretentious jackass. What is also a good thing is how visibly uncomfortable Buck was during the segment. Watch for yourself:



Somehow I think Joe Buck of a few years ago might be offended at the Joe Buck of last night, but maybe he's evolved. More likely, Buck wanted some buzz and an excuse for phony outrage.

Scooby Doo, The A-Team and Doug Marrone

Big East Foes, Fear The Van!

We've drank the Doug Marrone Kool-Aid here at T31. Let's be honest, our head coach could kick any other Big East coach's tail clear across this great land we call America. The Sporting News Today had a nice little Q&A with the baddest man in the Big East and they revealed this gem:

What I drive: Honda Odyssey mini van.

We've still got your back coach. You're in good company....but here's a suggestion, go with the mag wheels and A-Team paint job.

Look Inside >> June 15, 2009

You Will Never Score Well at Bethpage Black

For those of you that don't know me, consider yourself lucky, you're not missing much. However, to give you a little context for this post you need to know this much - I love golf. I play in a golf league, I go on an annual golf trip and try and I get out on the weekends when the crappy Upstate NY weather allows.

Like most golfers, I'm not very good -- and regardless of what anyone tells you, there are very few good golfers on this planet. Sure, I have my moments, but I don't write about my travails on the links very much because listening to someone tell stories about how they should have made a par on 16 but they bladed a wedge into the woods and ended up with a triple bogey just isn't that interesting. It's like listening to other people's poker stories - no one gives a crap.

That being said, I will share two quick golf stories from my past. One time in high school I was playing in a match and the kid I was playing against shanked a low line drive into the the opposite fairway that hit another golfer in nuts. The guy immediately dropped to the ground howling in pain and I immediately walked the other way. I wasn't the one that hit him and I certainly wasn't going to deal with that mess - besides, he was beating me.

The other fun golf story I have from my youth is that I witnessed my dad make a hole in one.....on a mulligan. It's an evil game.

Writing about professional golf isn't that much better. Tiger is great, Daly is a mess, Phil has insane talent and a wife we are all rooting for to get better (fuck cancer) and the other 150 players basically have the personality of a box of corn flakes.

However, the U.S. Open starts Thursday and it's being played at Long Island's Bethpage Black. Sadly I haven't had the chance to play it yet, but I live a couple of hours north of NYC and have had numerous friends sleep in their cars and experience the pure pain the black course inflicts on those that try and tame it. Without exception, each guy I know that has played it has sent me a text or email of the above sign before teeing off. It's a given. Should I ever play there, you can bet I'll do the same.

So how hard is it? I could provide you with some links detailing the narrow fairways and towering rough, but that would require further reading and visualization on your part and let's be honest, you didn't come here to think. Let's check out some video instead.

Here is how you get on without a tee time - and you won't have a tee time:



And here Andy North shows us just how high the rough is and gives us a "darkhorse" to win it all....and let's just say Andy didn't go out on limb with his choice:




So there's your obligatory golf post for the year - I'll try not to make it a habit, but if you've ever picked up a club, check out a few holes this weekend and watch a public course you can play bring the best players in the world to their knees.

Raw Deal

You may or may not have heard about former Syracuse assistant Tom Green's unceremonious ouster as the head coach at Farleigh Dickinson University last week. Firing a guy in June without any hint of scandal seemed odd, but let's be honest, it's FDU basketball, Kentucky it ain't. However, our good friends over at Hugging Harold Reynolds shine some more light on the situation, and it's not pretty. If you have a few minutes, check it out.

Dave, Gomez and Gerry

Save some ribs for Gerry

Breaking news on the Syracuse radio front. Former Syracuse star Gerry McNamara will make weekly appearances on TK 99's Dave and Gomez show. The news is sure to stir up some debate among the three of us (if Boss is still alive) - as back in the day one of our favorite arguments was argue over who was the best morning drive time radio host. This argument always tended to break out after we were a touch "over-served" and usually ended with one party calling the other one an idiot (hence the name of this dopey blog).

Boss was always a Dave and Gomez fan, while Champ and I were, and still are, Howard Stern fans. Personally I'll be a lifelong Stern devotee and his show since moving to satellite radio is better than ever. As far as Dave and Gomez go, I don't live in their listening area, and I can't say I'm sad about that - but when I'm back in the area, I'll know there'll be at least one guy on TK 99 I like.

Photo: www.cnyradio.com

Fat Guy Friday

While Orlando's supreme choke job last night effectively ended the NBA Finals, we have basketball on our minds. To that end, Fat Guy Friday this week focuses on a famous fat basketball player - Robert Tractor Traylor. The Tractor turned out to be a better eater than a pro basketball player, it is no longer in the NBA. Somewhat ironically, he is still playing professionally in Turkey (one would assume with extra gravy). So while the Tractor is no longer stateside, he has given us some memorable highlights.

Like ripping down the rim at Michigan:



And going coast to coast against the hapless Clippers:



And dunking over cows with Sir Charles:

OchoTyson

I've often thought about getting a tattoo - if done right, it can be a pretty cool piece of art to put on your body. I've never done it - and now that I'm in my mid 30s, it's probably never going to happen, for two reasons:

1. To this day, there's nothing I've come up with that I really want on my body. I guess I actually need to care about things before getting some ink. Plus I haven't come up with anything that will look remotely normal on my body 30 years from today.


2. If I got a tattoo, it would be on my upper arm and despite periodic efforts bulk up "my guns" I've basically got chicken wing arms -- again, not good.

However, many people don't suffer from the problems I've outlined above and think nothing of adding some ink to their body. The latest - Bengals receiver Chad OchoCinco. As this post from fansided informs us, Chad decided to get some new tattoos the other day, which isn't news at all, until you realize the tattoos are ON HIS FACE -- Mike Tyson style. As the picture below points out, he went with a small tat of the state of Florida on one cheek, plus a few other touches.

Setting aside the fact that in my opinion it's completely insane to ink your face, what is up with athletes and state of Florida tattoos? Chad's got a long way to go to beat Udonis Haslem, but what he lacks in size he makes up for in location.

Ebay Item of the Week: Kueth Duany Has Really Let Himself Go

Kueth Duany, 2003

Kueth, 2009?

A special thanks to the Russianator and his "Fat Guy Friday" feature that inspired our search this week. We're not really suggesting that second picture is that of the captain of the 2003 National Championship team. But, how else do you explain a size extra-extra-extra-extra large (XXXXL) jersey of our beloved #13 that is featured as this week's Ebay Item of the Week.

Kueth, have you been spending time at the beach?

Tim Floyd Adds Himself to the Nation's Unemployment Rolls

Photo: LA Times

USC coach Tim Floyd resigned today under a cloud of suspicion and alleged recruiting violations that have roots in the bizarre circumstances that brought O.J Mayo to Southern California campus. Floyd leaves with an 85-50 record at USC that included one trip to the sweet sixteen.

USC Athletic Director Mike Garrett was apparently really broken up over the whole thing, as evidenced by this terse statement issued in response to the news:

"I accept Tim's decision and wish him well," Garrett said.

That is the equivalent of the "vote of confidence" coaches get a week or two before they get fired.

USC will begin a search for a new coach immediately and give Matt Gelb credit for raising a fantastic point on his twitter feed - saying "Tim Floyd is out at USC. If there was ever a job that Mike Hopkins would cease being Jim Boeheim's shadow for, this is it."

While it's PURELY SPECULATION, Gelb does raise an interesting point. Hopkins is a Southern California native with a clean cut reputation and there's the obvious Syracuse-USC connection with Daryl Gross.

With John Calipari leaving Memphis under a cloud of scandal, Floyd resigning, and Lane Kiffin racking up NCAA football recruiting violations like Larry King racks up ex-wives -- is it really that much of a stretch to think USC would consider a clean cut native with a reputation as an honest, ethical, hard worker to clean up the program? Especially in light of the on-going, and seemingly never to be resolved allegations about improprieties regarding Reggie Bush and the SC football team? They could certainly do a lot worse.

Plenty of Seats Available

Sitting in my inbox today was this invitation from the Daryl Gross Propaganda Machine. Judging by the numerous "silver-outs" in the Dome last year, there should be no problem for our man Daryl to have all his rowdy friends over to the Dome this fall.


Our moles inside the Orange athletic department gave us a heads-up on the following groups that have already made their reservations:


* The Paulus family reunion


* The official CNY Nelson fanclub


* Happy Hookah customers

* We quit the team so this is as close as we're going to get to game action

* Assorted Syracuse area book clubs (they needed a quiet place to meet)

* We're hoping we see midgets in KISS makeup

* The Doug Marrone Kool-Aid drinkers (including yours truly)

* Fans of Michigan Football who really want to see what damage Greg Robinson left

* Fans of Ohio State who really want to salivate after seeing the damage Greg Robinson left

* Bill Taft's groupies

Godspeed Chaz

Chaz we just can't quit you.

The End of an Era

It is a sad day here at T3I headquarters. The idiot's favorite receiver and darkhouse Heisman contender Chaz Cervino is transferring to Hofstra. The Cervino era at SU is over after 3 glorious catches and 37 yards - but Chaz will always be number one in our hearts

So while our dreams of a C&C Touchdown Factory with the Sport Hump's favorite receiver Van Chew are over - We wish Chaz the best. Here's hoping he can follow in the foot steps of another undersized Hofstra receiver Wayne Chrebet and make the most of his college years. We'd recommend skipping the concussions however. They tend to linger.

My Heart's on Fire...Elmira

T3I's Southern Tier affiliate passed this nugget along. Move over Syracuse Shockwave. This week the American Basketball Association announced that Elmira, NY has been awarded an expansion franchise and will begin play in December.

What really caught my eye was the league's proclamation that the new team,

"...will be owned by the Chemung County YMCA in Elmira, NY."

Seriously? A YMCA is an ownership group in your league? Really?

The battle lines have been drawn. Will Elmira become Syracuse's rival as they battle for the Old Salt Potato-Speedie Cup? Will the Elmira YMCA set attendance records for their "Geoff Bodine Night?" Will they invite '80's country superstars The Oak Ridge Boys to preform a re-worked version of their hit "Elvira" before their first game? We can only hope and imagine....

"My Heart's on Fire....ELMIRA!"

Fat Guy Friday

Welcome to Fat Guy Friday, we are back with week two of this ill-conceived idea. If you have any pictures or videos of fat athletes or fat sports related events, by all means, pass them along.

Our first bit of viewing pleasure is from a few years ago - when Seattle still had an NBA team - I'm not sure what this guy is doing now - maybe he's crashing the dance routines at the Seattle Storm games. Season 10 starts Sunday!



Prince Fielder takes after his dad in a few ways. The dude can hit for power, he's a major leaguer, and he's fat. This is bad news for second basemen everywhere.



And we will wrap this week's edition up with a trip back to 1987 (get the number one hits from that year ready Champ) and this video of the late, great Ironhead Heyward laying waste to the Miami Hurricanes.

Jonny's Got Hops, Mike Rosario Already Knows

Via the Big Lead, the NBA conducts a mini-combine for draft prospects and who was the player with the highest vertical leap? Why Jonny Flynn of course. Then again, Mike Rosario could have told us all this months ago.

Melky, Peanuts and Porn

I was in Northern New Jersey for work today and heard some local talk show hosts talking about Melky Cabrera and porn star and celebrity rehab participant Mary Carey.

So I get home let tonight, take a quick trip to YouTube and what turns up is an absolutely bizarre video of a shirtless Melky eating peanuts and being interviewed by the porn star. Frost-Nixon it ain't - but it's fascinating nonetheless. While Melky wasn't wearing a shirt, here's hoping he wore something else....

Ebay Item of the Week

We're pulling a Casey Kasem this week and sending out a long-distance dedication to our good friend The Axeman with this week's Ebay Item of the Week. Axe enjoyed last week's musical trip back to the 1989 Hall of Fame Bowl won by our Syracuse Orangemen.

This week's item let's you relive the 1988 Sugar Bowl. In case you missed it, and you probably did because no one reads this crappy blog, T3I looked back at this game last August.

(Insert Casey Kasem voice here) "And Axe, here's your long distance dedication. The #1 hits of 1988."




Some bonus random thoughts from 1988's music scene:

* Whitney Houston (reality TV train wreck), Michael Jackson (insert punch line here), INXS (dead lead singer)....21 years can really change people

* Expose....better name for a strip club than a musical group

* SportHump favorite Rick Astley....two...yes two #1 hits....Rock and Roll Hall of Fame get on this induction now

* Wow, does that "Father Figure" song by George Michael take on a whole different meaning in 2009

* When does the new Terrence Trent D'Arby album come out?

* Forget waterboarding, we should really be playing that Bobby McFerrin song at Guantanamo

* Guns 'N Roses...thank you for saving that year

Random Rants and Ramblings

Welcome to June. The NBA Finals don't start until Thursday and hockey ceased being a sport years ago, so there's not much going on in the sports world we live in - so let's ramble.

* Here's a deep thought - Is Gary Bettman the Matt Millen of hockey, or is Matt Millen the Gary Bettman of football?

* Jonny Flynn is making the rounds meeting with a lot of NBA teams before the NBA draft and by all accounts things are going well, but that has to be a weird process. As someone that's been in the "working world" for a long time now, I can't imagine what that process is like....my first job interview was with a crappy insurance company and thankfully it was a trainwreck. I didn't get the job and I wouldn't have been a good fit in the insurance world anyway. Looking back on it, I'm glad it worked out the way it did. I imagine every player that talks to the Clippers and doesn't get drafted by them will feel the same way.

* I could care less that LeBron didn't shake someone's hand. Stories like this make sports talk radio absolutely miserable when nothing else is going on. The next time I hear about LeBron shaking or not shaking something, it better involve strippers and fake breasts.

* What's worse - Mike Lupica sports commentator or Mike Lupica political commentator? That's like choosing between New Coke and Crystal Pepsi if you ask me.

* The hot dog eating contest is only a month away and Kobayashi signaled to the world that he's ready to take the title back from Joey Chestnut. Let's go Joey, the Mustard Belt belongs in the USA.

* I'm watching SportsCenter and Linda Cohn is anchoring. It reminds me of the time Champ and I saw Linda in a bar in Oswego during what was then reunion weekend. She was wearing a fanny pack. Sadly this was a number of years ago, before cell phones had cameras, which is too bad because we probably would have taken that picture and turned it into a t-shirt or something.

* Eight strong innings for Joba Chamberlain tonight, he was throwing in the upper nineties late into the game. That makes me giddy.

* And I'll leave you with a little advice - no matter how mad you get, cutting off your own penis is NEVER a good idea.