Monday, June 29, 2009
Harris has confirmed the report with Ryan Miller - so Jonny and Paul will continue their basketball odyssey together for at least the summer.
There's still no word on Eric Devendorf's future - Mike Waters reports he's weighing his options.
However, three guys from something called the Utica Daily News (I didn't know it existed either) discussed Devendorf''s future a week and a half ago and one of the guys in the clip thinks Eric might be getting "unduly knocked" because he's white. He also compares his skills to Ben Gordon, which tells you all you need to know about the guy's ability to analyze basketball players, but have a listen - the accents alone make it worthwhile.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
With baseball season in full swing it seems appropriate to feature a baseball player on this week's edition of Fat Guy Friday. Lucky for us, there have been plenty of fat baseball players over the years, unluckily for you, there aren't many videos or pictures of Terry Forster out there to cobble together a Fat Guy Friday feature, trust me, I've looked.
This week's fat guy is legendary Yankee bust and fat toad, Hideki Irabu. As you can see from the picture below, not only does Hideki carry around a few extra pounds, he's got some great poofy hair.
Irabu came to the Yankees in 1997 after a very successful career in Japan, but never lived up the hype. As a Yankee he compiled a 29-20 record before getting shipped to the Montreal Expos of all places. After a less than successful stint north of the border, he finished his major league career with a short stop in Texas, pitching for the Rangers. His overall major league record is 34-35 record, with a 5.15 ERA. Frank Costanza sums up the feelings of Yankee fans best in this clip:
While no longer in the majors, Irabu made news last summer after he was arrested for pushing a bartender up against a wall after downing 20 beers. Apparently the fat man's credit card was rejected, sending him into a fit of rage. You don't build a gut like this without slamming back a few beers - trust me, I know.
This spring, Irabu made news by announcing plans for a comeback and signing with the Long Beach Armada of the Independent Golden Baseball League. Some bad footage of the press conference announcing his signing is below (Hideki is sticking with the awful hair) but so far things haven't been going too well for him.
So, while it's doubtful the fat toad will ever pitch again in the big leagues, at least he made his mark as one of the biggest busts in Yankee history, thanks Hideki.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
First up......break out your Gerardo CD's.....because every Cuse fan needs their own genuine rico (suave) leather checkbook cover.
For Orange fans reliving the 1987 Final Four is about as much fun as genital herpes. However if you are game enough feel free to bid on this guy's 22 year old tshirt.
And since we're reliving 1987, Axe here you go buddy. The #1 hits of '87:
Some '87 thoughts:
* This entire clip sounds exactly like the current Y94 playlist.
* I have no idea who "Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam" were. But two #1 hits? Really? Anyone, Lisa Lisa?
* Apparently the key to getting a top hit this year was getting your song featured in a movie.
* Greatest special effects ever...Kim Wilde at the 3:30 mark (smoke machine...check, hand coming down from the ceiling....check.....guy busting through the set...check.)
* U2....that's one damn good record.
* Do you think Chuck Finley owns that Whitesnake album?
* Huey Lewis and The News.......you can't forget about The News.
Now I was unaware that the Washington Nationals had any fans, but my hats off to that abused fan base, what your team lacks in talent, its fans make up for in wit - at least for one day. Standard Seinfeld disclaimer - not that there's anything wrong with a gay bar, but I'm guessing that's not what the chowderheads had in mind.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Even though we aren't sure what this year's uniforms will look like, there is no way any changes will hold a candle to the hideous apparel the University of Oregon uses to outfit their players.
So, in news that is as predictable and comforting as the changing of the seasons, Oregon's new uniforms are out, and they are still terrible. And not only are they terrible, they come in a million combinations of bad. The Orlando Sentinel reports that there are 80 helmet, jersey and pant combinations available to them. Or 79 more combos than Alabama. Here are a few, you can check out the full collection here.
Monday, June 22, 2009
One the Three Idiots longest standing and most idiotic internal debates centers around the age old question - if the Teen Wolf basketball team played the team from Porky's, who would win? For at least the last 12 years this debate has raged among us.
I have taken the position that the Teen Wolf team would easily handle the losers from Porkys, as they have no one than can stop the Wolf. Champ has taken the flawed position that the Porky's team would prevail, contending that other than the Wolf, no one else on team Teen Wolf can beat you. Basically he's saying Teen Wolf is the mid 1980s Chicago Bulls and you "let the wolf go off."
So where am I going with this? Hollywood, in their infinite creativity and wisdom is reportedly thinking about remaking Teen Wolf. Its bad enough they are going to remake Footloose, but remaking on the quintessential basketball movie of the 1980s? (that was sarcasm people, sarcasm - no dumb Hoosier comments below please) In the words of John McEnroe, you cannot be serious.
According to the web site Movie Hole, Warner Brothers is thinking of remaking the film but "is not quite certain which way they are going to go." While I do not condone remaking this film under any circumstances, Hollywood has yet to call me up and ask my opinion on which films should get made and which shouldn't and I don't expect them to start any time soon, so let's assume this thing gets remade. Where do we go from here? Well, I have some advice - and here it is.
1. Cast someone who can actually dribble a basketball. While everyone loves Michael J. Fox, casting a Canadian midget who can't dribble without staring at the floor and has the free throw motion of an epileptic didn't quite work.
2. Cast a "Stunt Wolf" the same size as the actor who will play the Scott Howard character. As you can see in the clip below, the Stunt Wolf is at least half a foot taller than Michael J. Fox - and no I'm not buying the fact that transforming into a wolf made the character taller.
3. Upgrade Boof - both in name and in casting. First, let's start with the name. The writers decided that the love interest of the lead character would be named Boof. Really? Was Spooge suggested and shot down? Also, Boof was supposed to be the "girl next door" type, but Susan Ursitti didn't really have the goods to get it done, and judging by her post-Teen Wolf career, I'm not alone this assessment. Sorry Boof, you didn't get the job done.
4. More Coach Bobby Finstock. In addition to leading the team to their improbable victory over the Dragons with Scott, not the wolf, running the point, the man coined the greatest piece of advice I've ever heard of in my life -- "There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."
If Bill Walton had played for Bobby Finstock instead of John Wooden, just imagine how much better the world would be. Bill could have spent the last 20 years as a TV commentator talking about Finstock's life lessons instead of Wooden's more traditional views.....the world would have been a better place. As such, Finstock deserves more screen time in the remake.
5. No remakes of Teen Wolf Too. Jason Bateman has been hitting it out of the park lately - looking at that one hurts.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Lumpy is generously listed as 5'10" and 210 pounds the official PGA Tour site, but if you believe that, you also probably believe Paul Harris was actually his listed height of 6"5". In the interview below, Lumpy certainly looks heavier than 210:
Lumpy has won 4 times on tour, most recently winning the Bank of America Colonial in 2006. The tournament has since changed sponsors and is now known as the Crowne Plaza Invitational.
While not in this year's field, Tim has played in 12 US Opens and has the distinction of being the 3rd generation of his family to play in the tournament. His father played in the 1963 Open and his grandfather played in the 1936 tournament. qualified in US Open.
Lumpy got his nickname in high school - as he explains here:
And Lumpy can play some golf - here he is chunking a chip shot out of the bunker, then making an improbable par:
And Lumpy also happens to be a really good guy, anyone who helps sick kids and their families is OK in my book.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Recently "Angry Otto" started showing up on Cuse merchandise. And I'll be honest....the p*ssed off fruit has kind of slowly grown on me. However, someone clue me on this piece of work. Whatever the hell the thing up above is can be found on a window cling as this week's Ebay Item of the Week.
I don't know much, but I guarantee you'd never see this thing on a bad-ass Honda Odyssey parked outside of Manley.
Well your prayers are answered - the good people at Tailgating Ideas have announced that the Port-o-Pong Pro is now available!
The inflatable beer pong raft is perfect for those aquatic excursions or for those tailgaters who are tired of using the plain portable table set up before games.
We'd advise Michigan fans to consider investing in these - being sober and watching a Greg Robinson lead defense isn't advisable.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Goofy white teenager - check.
Horrific $2 sunglasses - check.
Lame beat - check.
Lyrics that rhyme with Brian Gay - of course.
You put it all together and you've got one fun, trainwreck of a video. Don't let me be the judge, check it out for yourself.
Joe Buck debuted a new TV show on HBO last night - and it pretty much sucked until Artie Lange of the Howard Stern show came on for the last segment and took over the show. This is a good thing, since Buck is basically a pretentious jackass. What is also a good thing is how visibly uncomfortable Buck was during the segment. Watch for yourself:
Somehow I think Joe Buck of a few years ago might be offended at the Joe Buck of last night, but maybe he's evolved. More likely, Buck wanted some buzz and an excuse for phony outrage.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Big East Foes, Fear The Van!
We've drank the Doug Marrone Kool-Aid here at T31. Let's be honest, our head coach could kick any other Big East coach's tail clear across this great land we call America. The Sporting News Today had a nice little Q&A with the baddest man in the Big East and they revealed this gem:
What I drive: Honda Odyssey mini van.
We've still got your back coach. You're in good company....but here's a suggestion, go with the mag wheels and A-Team paint job.
Like most golfers, I'm not very good -- and regardless of what anyone tells you, there are very few good golfers on this planet. Sure, I have my moments, but I don't write about my travails on the links very much because listening to someone tell stories about how they should have made a par on 16 but they bladed a wedge into the woods and ended up with a triple bogey just isn't that interesting. It's like listening to other people's poker stories - no one gives a crap.
The other fun golf story I have from my youth is that I witnessed my dad make a hole in one.....on a mulligan. It's an evil game.
Writing about professional golf isn't that much better. Tiger is great, Daly is a mess, Phil has insane talent and a wife we are all rooting for to get better (fuck cancer) and the other 150 players basically have the personality of a box of corn flakes.
However, the U.S. Open starts Thursday and it's being played at Long Island's Bethpage Black. Sadly I haven't had the chance to play it yet, but I live a couple of hours north of NYC and have had numerous friends sleep in their cars and experience the pure pain the black course inflicts on those that try and tame it. Without exception, each guy I know that has played it has sent me a text or email of the above sign before teeing off. It's a given. Should I ever play there, you can bet I'll do the same.
So how hard is it? I could provide you with some links detailing the narrow fairways and towering rough, but that would require further reading and visualization on your part and let's be honest, you didn't come here to think. Let's check out some video instead.
Here is how you get on without a tee time - and you won't have a tee time:
And here Andy North shows us just how high the rough is and gives us a "darkhorse" to win it all....and let's just say Andy didn't go out on limb with his choice:
So there's your obligatory golf post for the year - I'll try not to make it a habit, but if you've ever picked up a club, check out a few holes this weekend and watch a public course you can play bring the best players in the world to their knees.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Like ripping down the rim at Michigan:
And going coast to coast against the hapless Clippers:
And dunking over cows with Sir Charles:
Thursday, June 11, 2009
- To this day, there's nothing I've come up with that I really want on my body. I guess I actually need to care about things before getting some ink. Plus I haven't come up with anything that will look remotely normal on my body 30 years from today.
- If I got a tattoo, it would be on my upper arm and despite periodic efforts bulk up "my guns" I've basically got chicken wing arms -- again, not good.
However, many people don't suffer from the problems I've outlined above and think nothing of adding some ink to their body. The latest - Bengals receiver Chad OchoCinco. As this post from fansided informs us, Chad decided to get some new tattoos the other day, which isn't news at all, until you realize the tattoos are ON HIS FACE -- Mike Tyson style. As the picture below points out, he went with a small tat of the state of Florida on one cheek, plus a few other touches.
Setting aside the fact that in my opinion it's completely insane to ink your face, what is up with athletes and state of Florida tattoos? Chad's got a long way to go to beat Udonis Haslem, but what he lacks in size he makes up for in location.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
With John Calipari leaving Memphis under a cloud of scandal, Floyd resigning, and Lane Kiffin racking up NCAA football recruiting violations like Larry King racks up ex-wives -- is it really that much of a stretch to think USC would consider a clean cut native with a reputation as an honest, ethical, hard worker to clean up the program? Especially in light of the on-going, and seemingly never to be resolved allegations about improprieties regarding Reggie Bush and the SC football team? They could certainly do a lot worse.
Our moles inside the Orange athletic department gave us a heads-up on the following groups that have already made their reservations:
* The Paulus family reunion
* The official CNY Nelson fanclub
* Happy Hookah customers
* We quit the team so this is as close as we're going to get to game action
* Assorted Syracuse area book clubs (they needed a quiet place to meet)
* We're hoping we see midgets in KISS makeup
* The Doug Marrone Kool-Aid drinkers (including yours truly)
* Fans of Michigan Football who really want to see what damage Greg Robinson left
* Fans of Ohio State who really want to salivate after seeing the damage Greg Robinson left
* Bill Taft's groupies
Monday, June 8, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
T3I's Southern Tier affiliate passed this nugget along. Move over Syracuse Shockwave. This week the American Basketball Association announced that Elmira, NY has been awarded an expansion franchise and will begin play in December.
What really caught my eye was the league's proclamation that the new team,
"...will be owned by the Chemung County YMCA in Elmira, NY."
Seriously? A YMCA is an ownership group in your league? Really?
The battle lines have been drawn. Will Elmira become Syracuse's rival as they battle for the Old Salt Potato-Speedie Cup? Will the Elmira YMCA set attendance records for their "Geoff Bodine Night?" Will they invite '80's country superstars The Oak Ridge Boys to preform a re-worked version of their hit "Elvira" before their first game? We can only hope and imagine....
"My Heart's on Fire....ELMIRA!"
Our first bit of viewing pleasure is from a few years ago - when Seattle still had an NBA team - I'm not sure what this guy is doing now - maybe he's crashing the dance routines at the Seattle Storm games. Season 10 starts Sunday!
Prince Fielder takes after his dad in a few ways. The dude can hit for power, he's a major leaguer, and he's fat. This is bad news for second basemen everywhere.
And we will wrap this week's edition up with a trip back to 1987 (get the number one hits from that year ready Champ) and this video of the late, great Ironhead Heyward laying waste to the Miami Hurricanes.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
So I get home let tonight, take a quick trip to YouTube and what turns up is an absolutely bizarre video of a shirtless Melky eating peanuts and being interviewed by the porn star. Frost-Nixon it ain't - but it's fascinating nonetheless. While Melky wasn't wearing a shirt, here's hoping he wore something else....
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
This week's item let's you relive the 1988 Sugar Bowl. In case you missed it, and you probably did because no one reads this crappy blog, T3I looked back at this game last August.
(Insert Casey Kasem voice here) "And Axe, here's your long distance dedication. The #1 hits of 1988."
Some bonus random thoughts from 1988's music scene: