Friday, October 30, 2009

Syracuse - Cincinnati Prediction Contest

What the hell is this thing?

The winner of last week's Syracuse-Akron prediction contest was friend of the idiots and fantasy football columnist the Captain. He's earned free space on this blog and when he sends us his entry, we'll post it. It should be interesting. Or maybe it won't be - we'll find out soon enough.

Since the idea generated some interest, we'll do it again for this weekend's SU-Cincinnati game. The rules are the same - the person who comes the closest to predicting the correct score of the game gets a free post on this blog. Anything goes in the post - so long as it's not porn and it won't get us sued (the T3I legal department is pretty thin, don't make me consult them). If you don't want to write anything, but still want to prove how great you are at picking games, put a score a down in the comment section anyway. It's not like we're going to harass you looking for an entry.

To get things started I'll offer my prediction. If I win, the second closest person gets the free space.

Rush's Prediction

The good news, the Syracuse defense is vastly improved and has been dominant against the run. The bad news, Cincinnati doesn't have to run it to score points - and they score a lot of points. Even worse news, Syracuse is abysmal against the pass. Even starting a back up quarterback, Cincinnati is a prolific passing team - which spells trouble for the Orange.

To keep piling on, the Bearcats do not turn the ball over - at all. They have 4 turnovers all year. Greg Paulus can do that in one half if he concentrates. This game represents a real challenge for the Orange.

The SU offense has been a work in progress all year. The offensive line has been shuffled more than a deck of cards. No one is sure from week to week whether good Greg Paulus or Evil Interception Greg Paulus will show up and the last three games for the Orange have been rough.

However, this week in the face of a very good opponent, I think Doug Marrone rallies his troops. The Orange play inspired football and hang with the Bearcats. The offensive line clears enough holes for Delone Carter to move the chains, Paulus plays smart football and Mike Williams makes the offense more dangerous.

In the end, it's not enough to hang with Mardy Gilyard and the explosive Bearcat offense, but the Orange does enough to get the all-important cover:

Cincinnati 38
Syracuse 24

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Captain's Fantasy - Week 8

Hello from the galley, it's the Captain back with your weekly fantasy football column.

If you heeded my selections for week 7 you were handsomely rewarded. The only call I got wrong was sitting Ricky Williams vs New Orleans. I didn't like the match up on paper, I thought Ronnie Brown would be the beneficiary of the extra work. I'll take a 6 for 7 on picks any time though.

Onto this weeks festivities.

Week 7 Starts

RB RYAN GRANT - GB - The grudge match at Lambeau should be a great game, both offenses are potent and the Ryan Grant play intrigues me. It always seems that good players rise to the occasion, and I believe that Grant is a very good player. He traditionally steps up for the MIN v. GB game, but this years addition of Mr. Indecisive to the purple and gold makes this a MUST WIN game for GB. Grant steps up extra big this week and delivers.

WR PERCY HARVIN - MIN - So for the same reason that GB wants to win, so does MIN. These guys DO NOT want to get punked in the biggest grudge match in the NFL this year. Harvin is developing into a deep threat for Favre and with bodies swarming around, I would think there is going to be an instance or two of broken coverage, (GB DB's would love a shot at FAVRE as well). Benard Berrian is dinged a bit, so look for Harvin to step up.

TE OWEN DANIELS - HOU - Owens is good. I'm going to rant on the TE position in my random thoughts section, for now just know this, Owens is one of the most targeted TEs in the red zone and he plays on a team whose QB leads the league in yds and TDs. He is a MUST START every week from here on out.

RB SHONN GREENE - NYJ - With Leon Washington out with an injury, Shonn needs to be on your bench for depth later in the season. He had a great game in Washington's absence last week. Keep this in mind, playoffs start in 7 weeks, now is the time to add depth and trim fat on your roster. Only keep 1 QB, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 DEF from here on out. Not only are you adding to your depth, you aren't letting others in the league pick up cheap points against you, think about it...


WR REGGIE WAYNE - IND - Yup, that's not a misprint. I see IND going up big this weekend, and their coaching staff is smart, so why would they risk making an existing injury worse by playing Wayne?. I don't think they will. I'm not saying he won't produce something, I just see other doing a better job.

RB REGGIE BUSH - NO - Last weeks scoring and production was an enigma. Don't be fooled into thinking he is viable this week or really any week going forward. New Orleans has too many other weapons to count on inconsistency from Bush.

RB JULIUS JONES - SEA - SEA's offensive line is in shambles right now. Walter Jones is in a decline and fellow running back Justin Fosset in the wings stealing work, he is unstartable. I don't think the revenge factor is on his mind going against big D this week. Big D stands for BIG DISAPPOINTMENT for Jones owners this week (year).

Captain Rants for the week......

* Obscure-ish TEs are having a huge year this year. If you drafted WITTEN, GONZALES, or GATES early this year you should be kicking yourself in the ass. Last week there were 3 TEs in the top 15 receiving for the weeks -- not 1 of them were named Witten, Gonzales, or Gates. If you were patient enough to get Dallas Clark, Owen Daniels, Vernon Davis, or even Kellen Winslow, you picked smartly. You need to get production in the beginning rounds. The big names have burned you thus far.

* SIDNEY RICE - if you followed my advice a few weeks back and picked him up, you can send me thank you note. 11 receptions last week 100+ yds and he would've had more yards and a TD if the ref didn't blow that tripping call.

* MATT FORTE OWNERS - put the razor blade down and step away... oh wait CHI has ARI, SF, PHI, MIN, GB, BAL, MIN left on the schedule.....on second thought, just end it now....your season is done due to a wasted top 5 pick.

Lastly, I have been informed that I have won the PREDICT THE SCORE CONTEST. My entry will be ready soon. It's gonna be a doozie.

Good luck in your leagues this week!

The Captain

Ebay Items of the Week: World Series Edition

It's Fall Classic time again boys and girls. And we're paying tribute with a collection of Ebay Items of the Week. The whole sports memorabillia world really confuses me. Don't get me wrong, growing up I collected baseball cards. It's just the idea of dropping serious cash on "memorabillia"really baffles me. But who am I to judge? Check out this week's bargains:

For $30 grand you can add authentic World Series bases to your backyard wiffleball stadium.

Live the Alejandro Pena dream.

What are the odds that Todd Pratt's 2000 World Series bat is in very good condition? I guess going 0 for 2 makes that possible.

The $1700 Ray King experience.

Insert Jose Canseco joke here.

Ryan Madson, $10,000 man.

Tino and are missed.

Somewhere a pantsless Jason Bartlett is watching this year's Fall Classic.

Carmelo Makes a Paul Millsap Poster

Courtesy of Sports by Brooks, last night Carmelo Anthony turned Utah's Paul Millsap into a poster, or maybe something worse. It is a sick dunk. How sick you may ask? Well I'd say Greg Paulus never got dunked on this bad. Enjoy.

Cincinnati Ranked 4th - By Kige

It's Halloween Week at the Kige Ramsey show, which means Kige kicks it up about 10 notches during his videos, sporting various Halloween costumes while sharing his sports insights. In the video below, Kige ranks his top 10 college teams and Syracuse's opponent, the Cincinnati Bearcats, come in at a muffled number 4.

While we are on the subject of Halloween - here's a public service announcement for those of you that will get creative and come up with some kind of "crazy" costume to wear to your Halloween party or the local bar on Saturday night. No matter how "awesome" the costume idea is, if it doesn't allow easy access to the mouth and the groin it won't work.

Obviously you need an outfit that allows you to drink and being lazy and putting on a mask may seem like the easy way out. But how are you going to drink your face off with a smelly rubber mask covering your piehole all night? You either take the mask off (then you don't have a costume dummy)or you do something even dumber, like trying to drink beer through straw all night. Rest assured, if you think you can pull that off, your night will end with a detailed conversation with the porcelain God.

So while masks are obviously a non-starter, things like football helmets or a costume that requires ANY headgear should be fully tested for ease of drinking before a final decision is made. This should seem like common sense, but often times people ignore this basic fact.

Likewise, the second point above should also go without saying, but bears repeating -- if you're wearing an outfit that requires more than 5 seconds of time to urinate, that is a major FAIL on your part.

The party or bar you will be at will be crowded. Halloween for adults has become one giant excuse to get plastered. Since it's on a Saturday this year that ups the number of dressed up drunks that will be out and about. This means there will be lines to use the bathroom. You will wait in these lines. You may wait a long time since others will not heed this advice and spend an god damn hour trying to get in or out of their giant pencil costume simply to take a leak.

By the time it's your turn, any unnecessary delays could be fatal. Going as the guy or girl that pissed your pants isn't the best idea - especially if you're trying to convince someone of the opposite sex to sleep with you.

So, to review - I implore you to wear stuff that will allow you to get booze in your mouth and deposit used booze in toilet with the greatest of ease. If you pay attention to those two rules, everything else is cream cheese.

Now here's Kige.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Bad Snaps and Injuries

Today Donnie Webb reports that Syracuse center Ryan Bartholomew is working to correct some technical issues that lead to a series of bad snaps in the Akron game. Obviously, this is a good thing. If SU has any shot of pulling off an upset on Saturday, they cannot afford to turn the ball over.

While I was looking for a montage of bad snaps to go with this post, I found something even better -- yet totally unrelated -- a montage of the ambulance running over players in Madden 1992. It's too good not to post, even if it has nothing to do with the story above - enjoy.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Michigan - This is Your Defensive Coordinator

While scouring the Internet tonight for videos related to the Syracuse football program - and simultaneously looking for videos of people getting hit in the nuts - I found this video from Citrus TV. It relives Greg Robinson's famous "little engine that could" speech when he was canned last year.

As Champ detailed a few days ago, Greg has hit a little rough patch at Michigan, earning himself a thumbs down from ESPN for the Wolverine's play last weekend. Don't worry UM fans, we're sure he still thinks he can.

Syracuse Wins the Battle of the Intro Videos

The Cincinnati Bearcats may be 15.5 point favorites against the Syracuse Orange on Saturday, but there's one area where the Orange clearly have an upper hand -- stadium videos.

Prior to Cincinnati's game against Southeast Missouri State, fans in Nippert Stadium were greeted with the video below. While it's not awful, when you base on introduction video on the music of Saliva - well that's not going to win any awards. It certainly can't hold a candle to the Syracuse intro video, which is also below - and Saliva-free thank God.

Cincinnati Video

Syracuse Video

Gratuitous Self Promotion

Today I will be a guest on Matt Mc's Sports Fix, ESPN Radio WNER, 1410 in in Watertown NY. The show airs between 4-6 pm. Matt and I will be discussing SU sports and I'll be sure to crack at least 2 really unfunny jokes - because that's what I do. North Country readers be sure to tune in, for the rest of you, I'll get a link up when the audio is posted.
UPDATED: The link to the audio is up on Matt's web site (click on the October 27 podcast on the right) or click here - my segment starts at an hour and 10 minutes in. Thanks again to Matt for having me on.

Monday, October 26, 2009


College Basketball Season is Upon Us

The Syracuse University basketball team actually took the floor yesterday, facing off against former SU great Stevie Thompson's DII Cal State-LA team. As you can expect, it wasn't much of a game.

I'm not going to go into much detail about the game, because it's hard to learn much when you're playing a team that has a 5'5" point guard who looks like a muppet and back up center who banks in 3 pointers and was accurately described by the Glaude as looking like a lumberjack.

A couple of quick observations:

* Obviously it will be hard to keep James Southerland off the floor. The 6'8" freshman who looks like Preston Shumpert, both in physical build and the release point on his jumper, was sensational, scoring 19 points off the bench and going a perfect 5 for 5 from 3 point range.

* Brandon Triche is going to be a solid player, he's built like a tank. However, I did notice the release point on his jumper is a little unconventional, basically he shoots the ball off his shoulder. At 6'4" he can still shoot it over most guards, but it's a little low.

* Arinze wasn't really aggressive, but then again, maybe he was worried about tripping over the smurfs on the court.

* Scoop Jardine played well - he'll never be a jump shooter, but he can make free throws, dish the ball and get to the rim. As advertised, he looks thinner and in better shape.

* Wes Johnson had a couple of sick dunks - someone get them up on YouTube please.

For those that haven't yet seen Southerland, here he is dunking in AAU ball.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Syracuse - Akron Observations

The Syracuse Orange avenged last year's stunning loss to Akron yesterday, winning 28-14 in a game that will never qualify as an instant classic. But there's no "instant classic" column in the standings and a win is a win, so let's put this one down as a W and keep moving on.

As we do after every SU game, let's get to the good, bad and ugly observations from yesterday's game.

The Good

Delone Carter had the break out game we've been waiting for all year. 170 yards on 30 carries is impressive, I don't care who you are playing. It's also worth noting it's a marked improvement over the Maine game, where Carter only tallied 72 yards rushing.

The reworked offensive line had a solid game, consistently opening up holes that had not been there all year for the running backs. Whether it was better play or a crappy opponent, I'm not sure, but we'll find out in one week when Cincinnati comes to town.

ZERO rushing yards allowed. Let me repeat that - Akron rushed for ZERO yards. I don't care who you play, that's outstanding.

Likewise, Derrell Smith had another monster game. He's the best player on this team not named Williams and he's the best player on the team who hasn't been suspended (more on that in a bit).

I've been on the Marcus Sales bandwagon since last year and he stepped up and had a nice game in Williams' absence. There were not a lot of opportunities in the passing game, but Sales took advantage of the ones that were out there.

Greg Paulus is a smart guy. He knew the number one priority coming into the game was to protect the football and not beat yourself - especially against an inferior opponent. He didn't take any unnecessary risks out there yesterday. Before you jump on me, there's more on Paulus in the next segment.

The Bad

Holy Hell, what the f*ck was going on with Ryan Bartholomew and snapping the football??? Edward Scissorhands could have done a better job. This needs to get fixed in a hurry.

Another sloppy game in terms of fumbles. There is no margin for error on this team -- and turnovers are the biggest errors you can make on a football field, short of shooting someone on the field like the Last Boy Scout.

While Paulus didn't turn the ball over, he didn't make plays either. He's definitely got a case of happy feet and he's quick to break out of the pocket. He looked a little lost without Mike Williams and his arm strength is never going to be overwhelming. In short, I'm not sure how much more improvement we're going to see out of him this year. If he were a sophomore in instead of a guy with 5 games of eligibility left, I may feel different, but over the last 3 games, Paulus hasn't shown much.

Speaking of quarterbacks, I hate rotating Nassib into the game in the middle of a series. It seems to throw off any kind of rhythm and half the time it leaves the team in 3rd and long. I don't mind Nassib playing, but give him a dedicated series. Yesterday the packages he played in were largely unsuccessful.

Special teams. Fumbled kick offs, giving up TDs on kick returns. The bottom line this year, this unit has not performed well. This is probably the function of an overall lack of depth, but this isn't pop warner football. The opponent doesn't give you a break because you have fewer players. At a minimum, special teams needs to stop putting the team in bad positions.

I also found it odd Ryan Litchenstein got benched. The move seemed harsh to me - he's a freshman kicker, he's been extremely accurate all year and he won the Northwestern game with a kick at the buzzer. Coach Marrone said he was bad in warm ups and for all I know he didn't make a kick in 2 weeks of practice, but benching him for missing a 39 yard field goal cannot be good for his confidence.

The music selections at the Dome yesterday included Quiet Riot, Pat Benatar, Queen, and the AWFUL Cotton eyed Joe.

The Ugly

The Mike Williams suspension. If this had been the first time Williams missed games because of off the field issues, I wouldn't think twice about it. However, for a guy who missed last year due to academic issues, it is a very troubling sign. Especially since he's so valuable.

The Ugly Part II

This post on the Bleacher Report - which is so ill-informed it's not worth refuting. However, consider Doug Marrone is nearly a third of the way to matching G-Rob's win total, and he's coached 7 games.

A win is a win, and we'll certainly take this one. However, this team is going to need to play better to secure some wins against Big East conference foes.

Greg Robinson Weekly

"Greg Robinson isn't finding many answers..." The Detroit News

"He (Robinson) got outcoached terribly on Saturday." Bleacher Report

"If you watched this game, you share my immense confusion with Defensive Coordinator Greg Robinson's pass coverage." The Rivalry, Esq.

What I'm Wondering

Another weekend has come and gone. Here's what I'm left wondering on a Sunday night after a weekend of catching up with my two fellow idiots. **News Alert, Boss is alive people.**

* Can Greg Paulus throw a ball over 40 yards?

* How does Fox baseball host Eric Karros make his hair look so poofy?

* Why shouldn't the Mountain West have a BCS spot?

* Is Pitt really as good as they showed this week?

* Saw VI. Really?

* Is there anyone on campus who can snap a football?

* The hoops team had a scrimmage Sunday. Did anyone know about this?

I'm ready for the weekend again.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Syracuse Akron Prediction Contest

We haven't posted any pre-game SU football predictions on a while. Why you might ask? Well the answer is quite complex - we're busy and lazy. OK, that's not complex at all - unless you're Greg Robinson (hey oh - I'll be here all week, try the veal).

With that being said, I'll toss out my official prediction and encourage you to do the same in the comments below. Actually, let's give you some incentive -- the person who comes the closest to the actual score wins something more valuable than merchandise or money - you win a guest post here at The Three Idiots.

As long as you don't link to porn or make any claims that will get us sued in a court of law, you can rant about anything you'd like. And I mean anything - I don't really care. If you want to write 1,000 words calling me a jackass - have it at. If you want to talk about Steve Phillips taste in women - go for it. If you want to discuss how Joe Girardi could over manage a little league game where every kid is required to play - I'm not going to stop you. You get the point.

Now if I get the game right, the second closest wins. If no one leaves a prediction, you're stuck with more dumb posts from Champ and I. Good times all the way around.

Rush's Prediction

Syracuse desperately needed a bye week to rest up physically and emotionally. After a turn over induced loss to South Florida and a thorough ass-kicking administered by WVU, this team needed a break. They looked battered and beaten.

I think the Orange come out rested and refocused under Doug Marrone's intense leadership. Akron is starting a true freshman quarterback and has lost so much talent and depth to injuries and suspensions they are the perfect foe for SU to get well against. I see Greg Paulus playing conservatively, using the short passing game to move the ball against the Zip defense and the Orange jumping out to an early 2 touchdown lead. The Orange defense stifles the Akron run game and the young quarterback struggles in the first half.

In the second half the Orange turn to a run game that moves the ball some, but not much, giving Akron QB Patrick Nicely a lot of chances to throw the ball. He settles down some in the second half against a weak Syracuse pass defense and produces some second half points, however it's not enough, the Orange have too much for the Zips.

Syracuse 34
Akron 23

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Getting to Know JD Brookhart

The struggling Akron Zips invade the Carrier Dome at 3:30 on Saturday for a game against the struggling Syracuse Orangemen (it will always be the orangemen).

With the mainstream media doing a fine job breaking down the game, I thought it would be fun to learn more about the man who will be matching wits with Doug Marrone -- Zips head coach J.D Brookhart.

Naturally, the first stop on this Google-lead tour brings us to his official bio on the Akron web site -- and what a bio it is. The thing makes War and Peace look concise. It clocks in at close to 3,000 words -- which is a hell of a lot for a guy with 28 career wins. Joe Paterno's bio is about the same length, but the man is 360 wins ahead of JD.

Anyway, I went through the bio so you don't have to. Here's what you need to know about Brookhart:

- He's in his 6th year at Akron.

- His career record is 28-38.

- He has lead Akron to 1 bowl appearance, a 38-31 loss to Memphis in the 2005 Motor City Bowl, which is now known as the Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl. I swear I didn't make that last sentence up. I had no idea it was the Little Caesar's Bowl until 2 minutes ago. Wow. For what it's worth, Little Caesar's pizza is putrid. It takes like cardboard covered in vomit.

- At the beginning of the season hopes were high for Brookhart and his Akron team, at the halfway point, many people want him fired.

- Prior to getting the head coaching gig at Akron he coached with the Denver Broncos, with Walt Harris at Pitt (the Walt Harris coaching tree - where the branches hire the trunk!) and was a copier salesman. And not only an average copier salesman, but a kick ass copier salesman.

- He also coached Akron to a win last year over Syracuse in the Dome. If he does it again this year, I'd recommend Doug Marrone go into hiding, because it will get real ugly in CNY real fast.

- So, there's all you need to know on Mr. Brookhart - and you didn't have to wade through six pages of crap to get it. Plus, it's good to know he was a success in the real world, because if this Akron thing doesn't work out (and it's not going well) there will always be a market for copier salesman, because America's getting fatter and people love to do stuff like this:

The Captain's Fantasy - Week 7

Here's your weekly fantasy football column from the Captain.

Week 6 results

I don't feel it necessary to review this steaming pile of feces that I wrote last week. They weren't all bad, just mostly bad. I will say this, I recommended Steven Jackson. Although he didn't score a td, he did manage to get 12 fantasy points which is always a good day out of anyone on the Rams this year.

Week 7 Plays

RB - Laurence Maroney - NE: Sammy Morris seems to be dinged up a bit and Maroneys scoring in last weeks Pats gutting of the Titans makes him a very attractive pickup. He is still available in most leagues. He will make a great player to pick up for the playoff weeks and they will be here sooner than you think.

WR - Austin Collie - IND: Collie has had 9 more targets than Piere Garcon over the last 2 games and his explosive downfiled speed make him a pickup in the event of a bye week. There are 6 teams on bye this week and if you are fortunate enough to get Collie, playoff time will be nice for you this year.

TE - Greg Olsen - CHI: Olson has 7 targets inside the 5 yd line over the last 3 games. The running game in CHI is not clicking st all this year. Cutler needs to move the team downfield and with there not being a definitive #1 in wide receiver, Olson as a pickup is VERY attractive. See if he's out there and get him now.

BONUS - RB - Darren Sproles - SD: If your league gives points for ppr, or return yardage, consider using Sproles this week. His pass catching ability out of the back field is some of the best in the league. He is always a threat to break off a long run on a screen. Not to mention, who go those goal line carries last week in the SD game...[ED note - I have LDT, screw Norv Turner]

Week 7 Sits

RB - Ricky Williams - MIA: I don't see how MIA competes this week with NO. They are going to be down big, they are going to have to move the ball quickly, and the NO run defense gives up less than 4 ypc. This matchup doesn't look good on paper to me.

RB - LeSean McCoy - PHI: That pile of steaming shit I watched last week was a picture perfect replica of every bad game by PHI during the Reid/McNabb era. Trying to force the pass, abandoning the run, it was not good. I see heavy doses of Westbrook this week against the Skins.
WR - Bernard Berrian - MIN: I don't have to write up a huge reason why I wouldn't recommend a lot of Viking this week, the only reason is this.... Pittsburgh. Best defense in the NFL, period. These guys don't give up a lot of deep balls and that is Berrian's specialty. I see a rough day for BB.


* I am a Yankees fan in an office full of Philly fans. I don't want to hear about this for the next 12 months should the unthinkable happen.

* I am going to submit my letter of intent at the university if Akron for the vacant QB spot, don't know what I'm talking about, go here.

* GO CUSE - and lets keep the turnovers to a min guys....

Good luck in your leagues this week!

The Captain

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Ebay Item of the Week: Missile Command

Our Ebay Item of the Week is not the classic '80s video game pictured above. Instead, it pays tribute to former Syracuse football legend Qadry "The Missile" Ismail.

Eric Allen or Qadry Ismail...who did it?

Big East Basketball Predictions

The Big East coaches poll predicts Syracuse will finish 6th this year. The Post Standard did their own poll of Big East writers and Syracuse finished..............6th. I'll let Mike Waters explain.

Mike Waters on Big East basketball writers' poll.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Quarterback Wanted, Apply at Akron Football Office

Times are tough for Akron football. The team is off to a 1-5 start and has been beset by injuries and suspensions. Things have gotten so bad the program has resorted to taking out an ad (last graph) in the student paper in order to find poor souls willing to a beating playing quarterback for Zips.

I lifted the picture above from a site called Thunder Treats, and the Zips could use any treats they can get their hands on at this point because Akron is going through quarterbacks like Syracuse goes through weak side linebackers. Starter Chris Jacquemain was suspended in September for the ever popular "violation of team policy." He hasn't been hard from since, which is good since he torched SU for 260 yards and 3 TDs last year.

Second stringer Matt Rodgers replaced Jacquemain and promptly tore his ACL in a loss to Ohio University on October 10th. The job has now fallen to true freshman Patrick Nicely. He's backed up by another true freshman Jared Wackerly, and Tim Zetts, who started the season as a student assistant. Now, in addition to rocking an awesome haircut, Tim is the 3rd string quarterback. At least until an enterprising Akron student answers a classified ad.

Fair warning to all who do respond, playing for the Zips could be hazardous to your health. This year alone, Akron has already lost 13 scholarship players, most due to injury. So while you may be willing to help, proceed at your own risk Akron students.

A big tip of the hat to Jonathan Sacks' Twitter feed for bringing this to my attention.

Grading on a Curve

The Akron Zips come to the Carrier Dome on Saturday struggling at 1-5 on the year. They are coming off a tough loss to Buffalo on this past Saturday, losing 21-17.

Now I'm not going to pretend I watched the game - there were a few bigger games going on Saturday that drew my interest -- but the loss wasn't all bad news for Akron. The Zips blog at handed out grades for the loss, and they were mostly As and Bs, with just one C mixed in, so they've got that going for them, which is nice.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Carmelo Anthony on E:60

Tomorrow night at 7;00 pm, ESPN's news magazine show E:60 takes a look at Carmelo Anthony. The network promises that the interview with the former Syracuse star will be "revealing." The a preview is below for you to check out. So skip the 7 pm Seinfeld reruns and tune in...and don't worry, the Yankee game doesn't start until 8 so you won't be missing thing.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Eagles Get Blackholed

Raiders vs. Eagles

I really don't know what to make of Andy Reid. One on hand, he's a highly successful NFL coach. He's a guy who has won more than 60 percent of his games and been to 5 NFC Championship games. It's not easy to win in the NFL, and big Andy has done it almost 100 times in his career. On the other hand, he's a coach that's lost four of those championship games and a SuperBowl to boot.

While the failure to get over the hump is frustrating and over the last 5 years, things have gotten increasingly more maddening. Since the start of the 2005 season, Reid has only won 4 more games than he's lost. Over that span there are more and more perplexing losses or ties. Last year it was the mess in Cincinnati, plus bad losses to Washington, this year it is a loss to the Oakland Raiders.

You simply can not lose to the Raiders. Not this version. They lost by 37 points last week to the Giants. Their coach sucker punches assistants (cough - allegedly). Their owner is increasingly feeble, and their quarterback is fat and is having a year that makes Ryan Leaf's career seem impressive.

Losing to the Raiders is like losing to a blind kid in dodgeball. And the Eagles got drilled.

As a fan, it's frustrating. As a lifelong Syracuse football fan, the parallels to the end of the Pasqualoni era are a little too close to home. Reid, like Pasqualoni, is an honorable man -- someone who takes blame for losses. The problem is, after each loss the answers are the same, and the more you hear the same rhetoric, the less you believe it. A bigger problem - for every Reid and Pasqualoni, there's a Rich Kotite and Greg Robinson. So while it's easy to over react and call for his head (which in fits of rage I have done) the flip side is the team could do that - and then go hire an awful replacement.

So how did the Eagles lose to the Raiders? If you didn't see the game, here's the cliff notes version:

* The offensive line was horrible from the opening snap, then starting LT Jason Peters got hurt in the first quarter, didn't return, and things got worse.

* No one loves Donavan McNabb more than I do, but he was bad today. When he did have time he missed open receivers and missed them badly. Balls were in the dirt, behind people and at least 3 times he had Jeremy Maclin open on deep routes and badly over threw him.

* There was little success, and little attempt, to establish a running game. Lather, rinse, repeat.

* David Akers missed 2 field goals - the Eagles lost by 4. You do the math.

* The defense only gave up 13 points, but didn't play well. They made JaMarcus Russell look competent (no easy feat). The D couldn't get off the field when it was most needed and didn't make a play to bail out an offense going in reverse.

* Most troubling, the Jeremiah Trotter experiment has been a spectacular failure. He simply isn't fast enough to be playing middle linebacker in the NFL. Fullbacks and tight ends can run away from the guy. The Stewart Bradley injury is proving devastating.

* The Eagles sure could use Brian Dawkins right now - because the free safety position is unproductive.

* Speaking of which, Mike Vick - a non-factor. What an unnecessary signing.

So, the loss today isn't the end of the year for the Eagles - but these losses are becoming more and more common. The upcoming schedule is brutal and at the end of the year, an additional loss could make the difference between making the playoffs or staying home. And ultimately, with the Eagles and Andy Reid talking about a contract extension, not making the playoffs could make the difference between him coaching in Philly next year. Time will tell.

What I'm Wondering

I'm a little biased, but one of my favorite reads is the Russianator's Gear Grinding series of posts. When the idiots get together, one of our favorite past times is to rant on ridiculously stupid topics, many of which come from the sporting world. Anyhow, after this weekend here area few things I'm left wondering.

* Are "Wedding Crashers" and "Independence Day" the only things that TBS and TNT now show besides sports?

* 59 points Tennessee. Really? You're an NFL team, not a Syracuse team circa 2005-2008.

* Is it that hard to find quality baseball announcers? Tim McCarver has actually gotten worse and Ron Darling is ridiculously painful.

* Is Kate Hudson good playoff karma for ARod?

* Would a Cincinnati-Boise State BCS title game change the establishment's tune about a playoff?

* Why does Jose Molina have to catch AJ Burnett?

* How do the Eagles lose to the Raiders? **Editor's note: And I'm a Raiders fan**

* Which leads to, how does JaMarcus Russell still have a job?

* Who else is REALLY excited for this hoops season?

* Why isn't Joba always in the bullpen?

Here's to a quick week ahead. Akron tailgate-- get here.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Where's the Rest of Arinze?

With 8 pm madness over, Syracuse got down to the business of getting ready for the 2009-10 season. The Orange held it's first formal practicie in the new Carmelo K. Anthony Center, and busted out some sweet practice gear. Besides the new practice venue something else has changed from last year -- there's a lot less of center Arinze Onuaku - which a great sign. He may be poised for a big year.

Not a great sign - ripping off the Andy Rautins haircut.

See the more Post Standard photos here.

Photo: Dennis Nett/The Post Standard

Friday, October 16, 2009

Gear Grinding: Stuff That's Pissing Me Off

I need to get a few things off my chest. You need to kill a few hours before heading out for the weekend. Sounds like we've got a match. Settle in, because here are a few things that have been pissing me off lately.

TBS Baseball Coverage - It goes without saying that their coverage of the playoffs has been awful. Here's something fun - google TBS, playoffs, and suck. You get more than 300,000 results - and that's 700,000 too few. How anyone ever thought a network that specializes in My Name is Earl reruns could pull off broadcasting the most important games of the baseball season is beyond me.

Once you get done with their awful broadcasting teams, they switch it back to the studio crew, which besides Ernie Johnson (a real pro) is a nightmare. How can you pay attention to anything Dennis Eckersly says when he's still rocking the mini-mullet and Tom Selleck 'stache? He could be telling the audience he was the mastermind behind the balloon boy scam and I wouldn't even notice - because the hair and stache is so mesmorizing. At least the Eck's look also distracts me from having to listen to a bloated David Wells.

Notre Dame Football - Memo to Notre Dame fans - I'm sick of all the coverage devoted to your your sucky team. Your schedule is soft. Your coach is an arrogant, overweight guy with a God complex that happens to have a 1-13 record all-time against teams that finished in the top 25. He he couldn't beat Greg Robinson last year. He couldn't beat Greg Robinson's Michigan defense this year. I can't wait for USC to paste Charlie's squad by 3 tds and then listen to Notre Dame fans call for his head.....and 3 chins. But hey, at least he's a warm, fuzzy personable guy.....

LeBron James and the Swine Flu - Apparently LeBron has the sniffles and this will no doubt cause 2,500 media stories about the subject over the next few days. Guess what, LeBron James is one of the richest, most famous athletes on the planet. He could contract ANYTHING and he's got enough resources to be A-OK. He could contract a disease House has never seen and they'd find people to solve it. If AIDS couldn't kill Magic Johnson, a head cold isn't going to stop LeBron.

Jon Gruden in the MNF Booth - I've quickly come to despise Gruden for a few reasons - he never shuts up, he praises every player, coach and waterboy on the field with hyperbole that isn't close to accurate (wait until he tells us Monday Tomlinson has a lot left in the tank) and he brings the exact same knowledge and skill set to the booth that Jaworski provides. Guess what, Jaws and Gruden both love to talk - one of those guys is more than enough. Here's a novel idea - go with a 2 man freaking booth. Tirico is solid and Jaws is fine alone. Sometimes less is more. For example, less Billy Packer means more basketball enjoyment. Learn a lesson TV execs.

Crappy NFL Teams - The NFL has long been known for it's tremendous parity. However, from a competitive standpoint (see what I did there?) this year there's a huge gap between good teams and the franchises that blow. The bottom 10 teams in the ESPN Power Rankings have a total of 7 wins. And all of those wins are AGAINST EACH OTHER. This leads to a lot more shitty games every week, and that's unacceptable.

Every Sunday that the NFL is on is special. It should be savored. It should be cherished. Worshipped even. We only get 4 months a year of glorious Sundays, filled wall to wall with NFL games. When those Sundays are rife with blow outs because JaMarcus Russell is worse than Otto Graham's corpse, and St. Louis makes the Greg Robinson era look like a success, that pisses me off. Case in point, Kansas City and Washington are playing this weekend. I'd rather pick out Halloween candy with Kige than watch this game. I'd rather watch blind midget cats try to find their way out of a maze than watch this game. I'd rather watch Charlie Weiss press conferences than watch this game. And that just can't happen, because Sunday's in May already suck - Sunday's in October need to be awesome.

Now that I got that off my chest, I feel much better. Have a happy Friday people - even you Notre Dame fans, you'll be miserable soon enough.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Captain's Fantasy - Week 6

Good evening from the poop deck, It's the Captain coming back at 'cha with the Captain's Fantasy for week 6. As it's now become customary, let's review the week 5 picks.

NYG RBs B. JACOBS/A. BRADSHAW - they combined for 177 on the ground 55 through the air and 2 TDs. As Birds fan, this pains me, but the NY Giants look really good right now. I am a little disappointed in Jacobs's performance thus far, with the record they have you would think that he would be a bit more productive from a fantasy standpoint.

S. MOSS - WAS - 44 yds. bleeeech......I knew taking a chance on this guy would burn me and it did. Washington is too weak in every facet of their offense to now consider anyone on their team on a weekly basis.

B. CELEK - TE - PHI - a nice 60 yd day from B Celek. Definitely serviceable from a TE fantasy standpoint.

T.OWENS - WR - BUF - Now while I bask in the glow of TO's pure shittyness right now, I am secretly screaming inside because I have him on 1 of my fantasy rosters this year. I don't think anyone thought his/Buffalo's decline would be so sudden. Dick Jauron, You are officially on the hot seat.

C.BENSON - RB- CIN - Wow is all I can say. I do not think anyone saw that performance coming from Benson. 120 and a TD against the Ravens?????? Are you F'ing kidding me? I was dead wrong on this one, but don't regret making the pick, you gotta play the percentages here.

TEN DEFENSE - 31 points given up close to 400 yds passing. "MR. Fisher, Dick Jauron on line 2, something about a hot seat..." I wounder if they could possible lose 13 after winning 13 last year?

So the tally is 3 right and 3 wrong. I call that a push. Onto week 6.

RB STEVEN JACKSON - STL - You did not misread that. I am picking S.Jackson to have a substantial day. The Jags are giving up close to 4 yds/carry and with STL's passing game about as healthy as Rock Hudson in his final days...... a high dosage of Steven Jackson is what the doctor has ordered. Jackson hasn't scored yet, he ends the drought this week. [ED Note: I think the Captain is insane on this pick - Phil Spector insane]

WR STEVE SMITH - CAR - Also not a misread. The Black Boss burned TB for 100+ yds in each game last year. Combine that with the fact that the once vaunted TB DEF is by far the worst all around defense in the league and you get a golden day for Smith.

TE JERMICHAEL FINLEY - GB - Finley (not the WWE Superstar from Dublin Ireland) has been the favorite red zone target of Aaron Rodgers this year and has emerged as one of the top TEs in the league. If you have a stud TE out for a week, see if he is on available on the waiver wire. He has great hands for a TE and since the Packers let everyone and their grandmother sack Rodgers, he will need to use his safety valve quite often. And while the Lions are improving they are still the Lions so the match up is good.

BONUS PICK --RB LeSEAN McCOY - PHI - Anyone notice the split in workload last week between Westy and McCoy???? Even. With that being said, if you are light this week due to byes or injury see if McCoy is available. He may prove to be serviceable against a very weak OAK team. Sorry Champ, they suck.

- Anyone guess which team is 5th in the NFL in rushing attempts this year? If you shouted Seattle, you'd be right. Next far down on the depth chart has Seattle had to go to get their starting left tackle? If you said 4th string you'd also be right. Final question....which NFL team hasn't allowed a rusher to go over 66 yds this season......Arizona is correct. Seattle will take to the air this week, just like Arizona does. If you have receivers for these teams, start them, just leave all RBs on the bench.

RB LADAINIAN TOMLINSON - SD -And there is stunned silence..........I like asking questions , here are some more for you to think about.


ANSWER: SAN DIEGO ...... how freakin crazy is that? LT and D.SPROLES are the WORST in the league rushing. Just let that sink in for a minute. The only way you play LT and D.Sproles this week is if you team allows for PPR bonuses.


* OCTOBER 15th and there is snow on the ground in my back yard. If anyone sees mother nature out and about, kick her in the box and tell her to shape up.

* The wedding I wen to last week was very cool. The bride and groom entered the reception to QUIET RIOT's "Mamma We're All Crazy Now". It was the 2nd best wedding entrance I've ever seen. The first goes to my cousin Sara and her husband. They are big Yankees fans and they entered to Enter Sandman.

* Speaking of the YANKEES, it feels real good to be back in the picture, now close the deal

* NIP/TUCK was classic last night. The 2 best things about it. #1 - the word vagina was used @ 14 times : #2 - a lady in the show said "my husband says my vagina looks like an over stuffed roast beef sandwich..." thank you FX, thank you. And with that I bid you good luck in your leagues this week!

The Captain

The Big East Gets Dangerfield-ed

A big hat tip to the Rutgers Blog Bleed Scarlet, who yesterday pointed out that on October 24th, ESPN has chosen to show a horrific Illinois (1-4) at Purdue (1-5) game on ESPN 2 over UConn (3-2) at West Virginia (4-1) or the USF (5-0) at Pitt (4-1).

Seriously? ESPN chose Ron Zook and his team with the nation's 104th ranked defense playing on the road against a 1-5 Purdue team that is going to get spanked by Ohio State this weekend over both of these strong Big East matchups? The decision could look even more ludicous if South Florida pulls off the upset over Cincinatti tonight.

Well done ESPN, well done indeed.

The Mark Macon Era Begins in Binghamton

Binghamton University finally placed embattled coach Kevin Broadus on a paid leave of absence, which translates roughly to "we will continuing paying you while our lawyers figure out how to terminate your contract as cheaply as possible."

Replacing Broadus will be Mark Macon. Yes, that Mark Macon -- the prolific scorer who played at Temple in the late 80s. I always loved Macon, probably because he was a gunner, and tried to model my feeble basketball game after his. Needless to say, it didn't work out for me, or Mark, as he had a rather undistinguished 6 year NBA career. I went on to a shitty high school career and many, many intramural basketball games in college where I hoisted pull up 3s on the fast break. Ah good times.

For those of you who don't remember Macon, here's a video of him getting drafted in 1991. The oddest thing about the clip - listening to Hubie Brown and Doug Collins break down the players being drafted. If you didn't have the video showing Hubie's sweet perm, they could be discussing any player from this year's draft. I guess the basketball analysis cliche handbook hasn't been updated in years.....

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Ebay Item of the Week: Calling all Todd Burgan fans

Any big fans of former Orangeman Todd Burgan out there? Or maybe you are a Billy Owens fan? Josh Wright anyone? Me, I was more of a Derek Brower guy. Anyways, we're all covered with this week's Ebay Item of the Week. Owning your very own faux Syracuse #30 basketball jersey will allow you to relive all the glory of your favorite Orangeman who donned that number.

Speculating on Syracuse Basketball

While reading Mike Waters piece on the major questions the Syracuse basketball team will try and sort out when they begin practice later this week, I started thinking about what kind of rotation Coach Boeheim will use this year.

I've never seen DaShonte Riley or James Southerland play, and only seen brief clips of Brandon Triche, but this glaring lack of knowledge will not stop me from taking some wild guesses on who will see the floor - because that's what the internet was invented for - wild, unfounded speculation.

Anyway, here's how I think they start the year. Once the games start and Boeheim sees how guys perform under the bright lights, all bets are off.

Center - Azinze Onuaku, Rick Jackson, DaShonte Riley
PF - Rick Jackson, Wesley Johnson, DaShonte Riley
SF - Wes Johnson, Kris Joseph, Mookie Jones, James Southerland
SG - Andy Rautins, Scoop Jardine, Mookie Jones, James Southerland
PG - Brandon Triche/Jardine (toss up right now), Jardine/Triche, Rautins


The first thing that jumps about about this year's roster is the flexibility. Every player, with the exception of Onuaku, has the size and ability to play multiple positions.

If the team goes small, Wes Johnson can easily slide to the 4. For all I know, he could start the season there, however, I think Boeheim continues to start Jackson.

Kris Joseph can play the 4 in certain situations as well. He started strong last year and faded. His versatility and well rounded game will help this team out. I can see him being one of the first guys off the bench, with either Jackson taking a seat, or sliding over to the 5 to spell Arinze.

James Southerland has been billed as a shooter. If he can come off the bench and make some 3s, Boeheim could spot him some minutes. Other than that, he may not see the floor much this year.

The same could be said for Mookie Jones. His season ended early with an injury last year - he will need to show a more well rounded game to earn minutes at the 2 or the 3.

Barring injury or foul trouble, Rautins isn't coming off the floor much. He's a 5th year senior with a high basketball IQ, Boeheim trusts him and he can play the point in a pinch, or slide over to the 3 if the team goes small. Plus he's the only true 2 guard on the roster.

It goes without saying SU will need solid play from both Jardine and Triche, we'll know what we have with each of them sooner rather than later. Both will play significant minutes early, but it will be interesting to see which one is on the floor at the end of Big East games.

DaShonte Riley could be a very important piece of this year's puzzle. Besides Onuaku and Jackson, he's the only other true post player on the roster. He'll need to be able to give SU some solid minutes in Big East play, especially against teams with big front lines. He won't need to score, but he'll need to be a big body that can block some shots and hit the glass.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Your Weekly GRob Moment

"There were a lot of good things in that game, and a lot of things that killed us."

Sleep well Bills fans

Photo: AP

The great case of the missing Thurman Thomas statue has been solved.

I suddenly feel A LOT better about the whole Ernie Davis statue fiasco.

Everyone Hates Greg

Today Donnie Webb details some of the anti Greg Paulus sentiment that has popped up over the last two weeks. I obviously feel like he needs to play better, but I don't get where all the vitriol is coming from either.

Marrone feels like he gives SU the best chance to win, so let's see where this goes. Now if the team gets to 7 losses, it's certainly time for Nassib to see more playing time, but let's see how Paulus responds against Akron first. Even if he plays poorly, there's no need to attack the kid. Marrone will simply move Nassib into the starting line up and we'll go from there. It's not like Greg stepped in and ruined a 10 win per season program, we're starting from the ground up here.

One guy who doesn't hate Greg is Coach K - who talks about Paulus playing football at the 2:16 mark of the video below.

A Bills Fan Kicks Suffering up a Notch

I was checking out the Big Lead this morning and found a story I had to pass along. Ken Johnson from Rochester, known to Bills fans as Pinto Kenny (or apparently Pinto Ron), has been to every Bills game, home and away, since 1994. That means Kenny has witnessed 130 losses, including the 6-3 loss to the Browns on Sunday.

On one hand I admire the devotion, on the other, I question the dude's sanity. Then again, he does cook food on the hood of a Ford Pinto, so something is clearly a little off here....

Pinto Kenny's Buffalo Bills obsession is impressive, but he's got nothing on Don Gorske, a guy who has eaten at least one Big Mac a day EVERYDAY since 1972. Last year he hit Big Mac number 23,000, so Pinto Kenny has a ways to go before he catches Don.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Syracuse Students Dress Like Empty Seats

I happened to be the guy who took this photo Saturday, which stirred up some debate on twitter about the dedication, or lack there of, the Syracuse students display in regards to their football team.

Axe touched on it at the end of his game recap and Sean just busted off a must read post on the issue. To augment it, I thought I'd add one other shot I took - which shows a lot of students dressed like empty seats. The photo was taken at the same time as the one in my earlier post, at about the 11:00 minute mark of the first quarter, so the game was fully underway.

Regression 2.0

Photo: Kevin Rivoli, AP

Here's a quick follow-up to the Russianator's break down of Saturday's debacle in the Carrier Dome.

I should have seen the signs. We rolled in for an 8:00am tailgate to miserable weather. Cold and rainy makes for a great day of watching football from the couch, not a tailgate. A further sign of what was about to unfold that Saturday occurred in the middle of our tailgate as a Syracuse University van absolutely flattened a handicapped parking sign across the parking lot. Little did I know the Mountaineer van was about to flatten our Orangemen.

Anyways, here are some quick idiotic observations and questions:

  • Before the game our crew piggy-backed on a tour and got a chance to check out the new Melo Center. "Wow" doesn't serve it justice. Any 17yo high school recruit is going to be thoroughly impressed by the new digs at Manley. Nice job Syracuse.
  • Down 27-0, I actually contemplating leaving at halftime.
  • I know, I know, Nassib was just playing against WVU's 2nd team, however I was impressed with the zip he has on his throws.
  • If Mike Williams is our playmaker, why was he not thrown to in the first half?
  • Give them credit, the team kept on fighting.
  • Can Paulus throw a deep ball?
  • Pathetic student section...I don't care if it was Columbus Day weekend.
  • **Broken Record Alert** Enough piped-in music. It's funny, I watched a ton of other college games on Saturday and didn't here much '80s heavy metal music in between plays.
  • There were at on of WVU fans in my section. All I had to offer them was a "Wait til hoops season!" I hate not being able to heckle.
  • Bye week, glad to see you.

All's well again.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Regression - Syracuse West Virginia Observations

Yesterday there was a football game played on Ernie Davis Field in the Carrier Dome, it's a shame only one team showed up. And the members of the Syracuse football team weren't the only ones to take the day off, as you can see from the photo above, the SU students decided to sit this one out as well. In hindsight you can't blame them, but the level of support this team is getting from their fellow students is pretty pathetic.

Let's get to the observations.

The Good

The rushing defense held Noel Devine to under a 100 yards on the ground, which has to count for something.

Ryan Nassib made a few nice throws in the second half, including a 50 yard touchdown strike to Mike Williams. While we won't know what kind of QB he'll be until he gets some extended playing time, he certainly has a big time arm.

Da'Mon Merkerson got the start at corner in favor of Nico Scott and played pretty well. He's got more speed that Scott.

SU has a bye next week. Thank God.

The Bad

Almost everything.

It goes without saying Greg Paulus didn't play well. The decision making was poor, as was the bizarre explanation for why he was pulled.

The amount of dropped passes by the wide receivers this year is appalling. It's unacceptable. We're talking JaMarcus Russell bad.

Likewise, I wasn't enamoured with Rob Spence's play calling yesterday. The gameplan was far too conservative, especially when trying to make up ground in the second half.

The front four still can't get any pressure on the quarterback unless there's a blitz.

The pass defense is still bad.

The offensive line, which is really banged up, still can't run block.

I could go one, but if you watched the game, you get the point. If you didn't, consider yourself lucky.

The Ugly

The attendance. I took the picture above in the first quarter, and as you can see, people aren't exactly filling the place. The student section has been especially empty.

Citrus TV West Virginia Wrap Up

I'm not sure I have it in me to write about the debacle that was the SU-West Virginia game. For now, check out the Citrus TV post game coverage.


Discussing a Potential Quarterback Controversy

Orange Press Pass

Final Thoughts

Friday, October 9, 2009

Twitter War

Attention all Syracuse fans, it's Friday, which means one thing - it's time to kick the crap out of this week's opponent on Twitter. If you are unfamiliar with how this works, read this. I believe this was started by the Glaude, and Sean posts the best insults every Friday night at Nunes Magician.

Unlike last week, when the 3 USF fans that are on Twitter but up a pathetic fight (the St. Louis Rams try harder) this week, the Mountaineers are fighting back. So if you have a Twitter account, join in the fun. If you don't have one, it's free so sign up and start insulting. Since you're reading this blog I know you have nothing better to do.

Photo: Courtesy of cuselaw

Musician, blogger and West Virginia fan John Radcliff has penned a sweet little song about SU which he linked in the comments. Check it out here - and to Mr. Radcliff I say - well played, well played indeed.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Fun With Google Image Search

Part of writing this dopey blog is coming up with the flowing prose that you've all come to know and love from the (formerly) 3 idiots. Let's face it, Keats, Whitman, Hemingway - those losers are hacks compared to the brilliant shit we put on this blog. The other part of writing a post is finding images to go along with all the eloquent words we use.

That's where the google image search comes into play. While there are plenty of places on the interwebs to steal photos from, the first stop for most people is google. So, the other day while I was looking for a picture of Tim Tebow to use for this post, I went to google images and put in the search term "Tim Tebow." The search kicked back 486,000 results, which is to be expected. However, what I found amusing was the FIRST RESULT of the search turned up this picture:

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but I found it kind of amusing that when searching for a picture of the most famous college football player on the planet, the first picture that turns up is of a hot chick with a giant rack that Tebow will certainly claim he didn't sleep with.

It also got me thinking - what would the first image result be for some other sports figures? A quick search found and most were rather plain. For example, you search for Derek Jeter and the first picture is of Jeter in a batter helmet. However, there were some fun results, so let's quit wasting time and check them out:

The first photo in a search for Tom Brady reveals one sexy man - with a sweet Pee Wee Herman tattoo.

Donovan McNabb's first result shows Don has had better hair days.

The first result for David Ortiz almost certainly came as a result of his terrible start this year.

Brady Quinn takes talking on a cell phone to a whole new level (you're welcome ladies).

Greg Paulus' first result doesn't exactly convey an image as a calm collected leader.

Search "Jeff Reed" and the first thing you'll see is that the Steelers kicker knows how to pose for a photo.

And of course the first thing you find when you search for Erin Andrews is this shot.

Ahh the good old google search algorithms, not always the first impression people may want. Feel free to share any good finds below.