Friday, October 29, 2010

Syracuse - Cincinnati: Official Idiotic Predictions

Image and Cincy hating guide courtesy of HoyaSuxa

The Syracuse Orange travel to the Queen City to take on the Cincinnati Bearcats Saturday at high noon. The Orange will try and continue a remarkable turn around and push towards a bowl berth while the Bearcats try and right there own ship and get back on track in the Big East. As we do every week, here are our official idiotic predictions for the contest.

Champ

The good guys are back in action this Saturday as they invade Nippert Stadium for a date with the Cincinnati Bearcats.

Let's get down to business. This one is simple math:

Cincy Backup QB + Cuse Defense = Orangemen Win

I'm expecting just enough from the Cuse offense to "hold serve" and let the defense win this one for us.

The highlight of the game occurs at halftime when Doug Hogue announces he's challenging Auburn's Cam Newton to a steel cage match for the Heisman trophy with special guest star Van Chew in his corner.

Final

Syracuse - 17
Cincy - 14

Poncho Sinatra

This Syracuse squad has quietly made a statement this year during opponents homecoming games. We like the carnival like atmosphere and shenanigans that accompany a homecoming festival. We also like running extremely hard and fast at opposing quarterbacks. Whether it's Collaros or Anderson, I believe Doug Hogue and company will continue with this insane attack scheme and limit this Bearcat teams options with Schafer's multiple blitz and confusing defensive sets.

The Orange will come out of this at (6-2) (3-1) and have a huge opportunity to jump into the Top 25 if some teams ahead of us struggle this weekend. (Did I just say that? Are we in a parallel universe? Am I in the Syracuse Matrix?) I'm surely going to knock back a few cold ones this Saturday and I hope the Orange faithful follow suit.

Final

Syracuse - 23
Cincinnati - 17

Rush

The transition from Brian Kelly to Butch Jones has not been a smooth one. Even though he's a jazzy coach, since taking over the program, Cincy has been more up and down than a hooker's head in Eliot Spitzer's hotel rom. Inconsistent offense and a defense that's suddenly allergic to stopping people will do that to a team.

However, the Bearcats are explosive and there's a lot of talent on the team, even if many of the guys are young. There's no real way to know what team will show up to face SU. Will it be the team that almost beat Oklahoma or will it be the team that lost to a not very good USF squad? Toss in the fact that I'm not 100 percent sure Butch Jones knows what he's doing (and I'm guessing most Cincy fans agree) and there's no real way to predict what will happen at Nippert tomorrow.

On the flip side, I am convinced Doug Marrone and Scott Shafer know exactly what they are doing. The SU defense, while inconsistent, can be dominant and is getting better. The offense knows their limitiations and isn't turning the ball over. Right now the Orange are less talented, but better coached. I think SU goes after the Bearcats and attacks from every angle tomorrow, forces a couple of turnovers, and grinds out a win. And since the Cincinnati defense is so bad, the Orange crack the 20 point mark against a Big East foe......barely.

Final

Syracuse - 20
Cincinnati - 17

Mr. T

Mr. T is here to talk about a real problem in Cincinnati. These fools don't know how to dress. They don't look like real men. They look like they be shopping at the Salvation Army. I pity OchoCinco for being forced to wear this.


It's no better for the bearcats. Why do all these fools have to have Tiger stripes on their football clothes? This is terrible. You'd never see something like this in the 80s....


If there's one thing Mr. T knows, it's fashion. If Cincinnati would lift the city-wide restraining order they have on me -- which was over a silly misunderstanding between me, a priest and and a bowl of Skyline Chili - then Mr. T would give some sound fashion advice. Advice like this:


And if you can't wear good clothes, Mr. T recommends wearing nothing more than a vest and a Syracuse hat. Interesting story, I was wearing this very outfit when I got into the incident I described above.


Mr. T could never pick a team that looks like the bearcats.

Final

Syracuse - Mr. Blackwell's Best Dressed List
Cincinnati - Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed list

Bonus prediction -- don't gamble kids, but if you do, take Syracuse and the points.

1 comment:

The Captain said...

The Captains prediction

'Cuse 24
Cinci -pi