A Scenario That Could Get Me to Pay Attention to Women's Hoops

I love basketball, but I'm not a fan of the women's game. Oh who am I kidding -- I hate it more than Kirstie Alley hates salad. However, while in the office today, one of my co-workers, a big sports fan and good guy, posed a hypothetical question about the women's NCAA tournament that stopped me dead in my tracks.

The question is this -- would you wager your life on the fact that the UConn women's team will win the National Title in exchange for a million dollars? Meaning, if you accept the bet and UConn wins the title, you get a cool million. If they don't win it all, you get killed.

Being a wise ass, I usually have a quick retort when things like this are posed to me (which happens more than you'd think) - but on this one I've really had to think about it. On the one hand, UConn is a virtual lock to win the title. No team can come within 40 points of them. They have won 76 straight games and in those games have trailed for a total of 3:37 total in the second half.

On the other hand, while the chances are remote, there's a chance they could actually lose. Half the team could simultaneously blow out ACLs or something and the last time I checked, being dead would suck. I don't think my family or friends would be happy with that. Plus my fiance always forgets to feed the cat, so the little bastard's death is all but inevitable if I'm not around.

So let's break this down point by point and see if we can come up with an answer.

Pros to taking the bet

- A million dollars is nice. It's not enough to retire on, but it's a really good start. And it's almost a million more than I have now.

- There's very little chance of losing. UConn's smallest margin of victory this year is 12 and they are winning tournament games by an average of 47 points per game. Lawn mowers versus grass is more competitive right now.

- I work hard and earn a decent salary but it's my dream to do nothing and be given a large sum cash. Working blows.

- Without having to work 50 hours a week, there would be more time to write on this blog (this is a pro for me - and a con to you, since you'd be reading a lot more posts like this).

Cons to Taking the Bet

- I'd have to watch women's college basketball since there's a little something riding on it. This would be tough.

- As stated above, I have a strong desire not to die.

- I'd have to root for a team from UConn - which is worse than watching a Kathy Bates nude scene -although both instantly induce uncontrollable vomiting.

- There was no method of death specified. If you have to die there are ways that are far more preferable to others. I'd hate to lose the bet and find out I'm going to be killed in some painful horrifying fashion. That would be adding insult to injury right there.

- My life would be in the hands of Geno Auriemma - a fantastic coach, but a Hall of Fame douche. In a perfect world if my life is dependent on one person I'd prefer that the person not be a world class jerk off, but hey, that's just me.

- A million isn't what it used to be -- especially after I buy a lifetime supply of Cheetos and purchase a controlling interest in Jolt Cola.

The Verdict

After breaking it down, I don't think a million is enough, but I think for 10 million, I might be in. So what do you think - and how much would it take for you? Also, someone get a hold of the new Nets owner, I think he might be crazy enough to finance something like this.

Gus Johnson on a Whole New Level

Via both Deadspin and Sports by Brooks, we present you with the greatest Gus Johnson video ever -- or at least the best video of a dog humping a stuffed dog with clips from the Gus Johnson soundboard dropped in. In other words - it's freakin' awesome. Our idiot hats are off to you video creator With Leather. You are real men of genius.

Ebay Item of the Week: Big Ben Bobblehead

Photo: Gene Puskar, AP

Big Ben Roethlisberger has seen better times. Cheer up Ben, for $19.99 some lucky fan will walk away w/ your bobblehead. We've checked Ebay up and down and still can't find the matching bobblehead motorcycle helmet.

#4: 1983 NC State

Jimmy Valvano's Cinderella '83 NC State team lands at the #4 spot on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, Of The HumpIdiot Era.

AJV, "Any underdog deserves consideration; the fact that they were lead by a great Italian-American earns them spots in the top 10."

Boss, "Never has a program lived off of one success more than the Wolfpack...its kind of sad, and it only happened because Guy Lewis botched the game strategy. "

Captain, "I love watching the end / post game. Raw emotion from Jim Valvano, huge upset, everything that college hoops is about. If you don't like this game you're a commie. "

Russianator, "Derrick Whittenberg, Lorenzo Charles and Jimmy V running around like a mad man. An all time classic."

Champ, "I remember staying up late to watch this one as a kid on a little black and white TV in our kitchen. Houston Cougars, another stacked team never to win a title. The ending is just an iconic moment in American sports history."

T3I Video Bonus: The Ending of All Endings



The Complete List:

#5: 1996 Kentucky
#6: 1994 Arkansas
#7: 1992 Duke
#8: 1984 Georgetown
#9: 1989 Michigan
#10: CENSORED
#11: 1997 Arizona
#12: 1993 UNC
#13: 2005 UNC
#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

McNabb Should Stay in Philly - Ask the Bear

There's a lot of crap on YouTube. Tons and tons of crap. There are people microwaving lean cuisines, dancing cats, and people crawling into boxes. There are also tons of opinions on Donovan McNabb. As a life-long Eagles fan I don't want to see McNabb leave Philly. When he's inevitably traded, I'll probably rant for a while in this space and then go out and kill a drifter to work out my frustrations.

Until then, I'll let a talking teddy bear explain why McNabb should stay in the City of Brotherly Love. The best part of the video is at the 1:50 mark when "the bear" asks if Donovan is out there and if he's listening. Uhhhh, I'm going to go out on a limb and say number 5 has better things to do than watch videos on a talking teddy bear on the internet. I don't, but that's another story. Take it away bear:

#5: 1996 Kentucky

A bittersweet stop on the countdown for Cuse fans. Checking in at the #5 spot on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, of the HumpIdiot Era are the 1996 Kentucky Wildcats.

AJV, "Another "scary" good team. Plus any team that can beat Otis Hill deserves high
marks."

Captain, "Look, not a fan that 'Cuse lost the game, but had a great time with Champ in the 'cuse bars trying to will the team to win. Biggest win of the evening was by me avoiding a DUI by telling the officer I was changing a CD, and that caused me to swerve slightly. "

Russianator, "Holy Hell, this team was loaded. They had something like 8 NBA players on the roster and John Wallace and the Orange took them to the wire. Plus, just for fun, this was another year when a John Calipari team was later stripped of its final four appearance. Stay classy John. "

Poncho, "Cuse was in da house – prior to meet Mr. Pitino and his band of Kentucky All-stars back in ’96. I watched this game at one of the Original Buffalo Wild Wings in College down in Greenville, NC amidst a slue of Wildcat faithful. The Orange had a nation behind them, but Kentucky was just too damn good. "

Champ, "Some great tourney memories for the Orange: the Cipolla buzzer-beater vs. Georgia, "Z" beating Kansas in the Elite Eight followed by Al McGuire's 'Cuse is in 'da house' dance. The Orange went toe-to-toe with an aboslute loaded Kentucky team. And for the record, John Wallace was the Most Outstanding Player of that tournament, not Tony Delk."

T3I Video Bonus: Cuse is in Da House

1996's One Shining Moment:


The Complete List:

#6: 1994 Arkansas
#7: 1992 Duke
#8: 1984 Georgetown
#9: 1989 Michigan
#10: CENSORED
#11: 1997 Arizona
#12: 1993 UNC
#13: 2005 UNC
#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

Things We Relish: Reversible Tank Tops

Nobody actually knows where the reversible tank top was born. Some say a man stitched two jersey's together after playing double duty for a Men's recreational basketball league in Gary, Indiana back in '87. Whether that's true is irrelevent. The reversible was born. If you ever played any formal basketball as a youth, you've rendered one of these gems. The brilliance is that when one side is dirty, you still have the other side that is spiffy clean!

If you look here, somebody had the brilliant idea of making these tank tops into beach totes? Those crafty women - always being thrifty. Also, high-end retailer Nordstrom has a chic reversible for women. This creates an infinite versatile addition to any wardrobe.

Is Mike Hopkins Going to Fly South?

Mike Hopkins, current Syracuse assistant, and presumed successor to Jim Boeheim has had his name associated with many coaching vacancies over the years. A few years ago he wisely turned down a chance to coach St. Bonaventure.

Now, Jim Utter of the Charlotte Observer is reporting that Charlotte has contacted Hopkins about the 49ers's head coaching job

It's hard to imagine Hopkins leaving when he's basically been named the coach-in-waiting at Syracuse. Then again, it's hard to imagine Jim Boeheim going anywhere any time soon. Maybe it's me, but I can't see Jim being content to shovel snow all winter long (although it would be fun to see him yell at plow drivers about poor calls) so you can't rule Hopkins leaving out completely. I mean other than Gilligan and Bernie Fine, no one wants to be second banana forever.

I'm sure this will sort itself out quickly, in the meantime here's Hop talking to the uber-creepy Manchild a couple of years ago right after Daryl Gross denied there is a formal agreement for Hopkins to take over, but then declared "Mike is my next coach." Thanks for that Doc.



And if the coaching thing falls apart, Mike can always turn to fund raising, here he is helping out the kidney foundation.



H/t to Kevin Humphrey

Rick Derringer - The Original Intimidator

*Just for the record, my posting on T3I has nothing to do with Ricky Martin's announcement today.

Hi, I was over there. Now, I'm over here.

Well, it seems like an eternity since I left TheSportHump.  Since then, I have reaquainted myself with nature and the duty of being captain of a mediocre coed softball team. I had time to think about my goals and what makes me "tick".

As I pushed myself with things "Outside" The Hump lifestyle I realized a few things. (1) I'm an Idiot (2) See: #1. With that being said, I communicated with the Idiots and they were nice enough to conduct a Think Tank on me being an altruist to this wonderful site. So, we finally agreed on a One Year contract with options. I have always been a fan of The Idiots and after thoroughly weighing my options with other sites - Speedofart and RickyTheDragonSteamboat, I took up their offer (with a nice signing bonus).

So, I'm looking forward to bringing you my cunning display of wit and dignity to the Three Idiot Nation. And remember, it's all about the Prayers and Vitamins.

Now, how about a little Rick Derringer live at Rockyard, Fantasy Springs Casino.

The Idiots Just Got Dumber

We've got some big news here at T3I - in a move that makes Sugar Ray Leonard's third retirement look long, Poncho Sinatra of the recently shuttered Sport Hump is joining this site as the newest idiot. Poncho will contribute whenever he has time or when the mood suits him.

As the nation's foremost expert in mustaches, fake news and 80's wrestling tag teams, expect Poncho to hit on all the hot topics of the day. Additionally, he's been known to opine on shitty beers and the classic Ford Taurus.

A frequent traveler, Poncho may or may not report from the road - but given the pathetic state of our nation's airline industry we can probably expect a post from time to time from some random airport terminal since the words "flight delayed" are uttered more often than free and bird at a Skynard concert.

Champ and I are both ecstatic to have Mr. Sinatra join the team even if it will be a little odd to have a blog name that's accurate. So please give Poncho a hearty welcome and look for his first piece sometime - or never. That's how we roll.

Guess who's back? Back again. Poncho's back, tell a friend.

#6: 1994 Arkansas

Nolan Richardson's 1994 Arkansas Razorback squad nails down the #6 spot on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, of the HumpIdiot Era Countdown.

Boss, "Those early 90's razorbacks were ridiculously entertaining to watch...provided it was against a team other than SU. "

AJV, "40 minutes of hell, followed by 40 minutes of pulled pork for Corliss Williamson."

Captain, "40 minutes of Hell... that's what Nolan Richardson said about how he wanted other teams to feel after they played the Razorbacks. Love that mentality. I also think this Final Four may have been one of the first times I drank a beer in front of Champs mom and dad."

Poncho, "The self-described '40 minutes of hell' from Corliss Williamson, Scotty Thurman and Corey Beck surprised Duke fans with their UNLV-ish style up and down the court. I watched this game while on Spring Break in Daytona Beach, FL. Yes, that was before MTV went to Panama City. (For you kids out there)"

Champ, "Scottie Thurman's agent really played this title game win into a smart move for his client. Some random thoughts....I remember that Dillard kid launching 3's from anywhere on the court, Lon Kruger's uni-brow and 'Da Meat Hook,' Demetri Hill led the Gators to the Final Four, and this is the tourney Cuse took top seed Missouri to OT led by Adrian Autry's 31 second half points."

T3I Video Bonus: 1994's One Shining Moment

The Complete List:

#7: 1992 Duke
#8: 1984 Georgetown
#9: 1989 Michigan
#10: CENSORED
#11: 1997 Arizona
#12: 1993 UNC
#13: 2005 UNC
#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

Go to a Nets Game - For $1.77

I don't have to tell you the New Jersey Nets are awful - when teams are 9-64, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you've got that one figured out yourself.

So, as you can imagine, demand for tickets isn't really high. In addition to watching crappy basketball, if you're lucky Nets executives will scream at you as well. However, if you want to watch an NBA game and have 7 quarters and 2 pennies in your pocket, this is your lucky day.

StubHub has tickets for the Saturday April 3rd game against the New Orleans Hornets for the low, low price of $1.77. If this great value has sold out by the time you read this, the screen captures above and below will preserve this value for all eternity - which is how long a Nets game seems to take.

Now what are you waiting for? Reach into your desk, grab that loose change and pony up for some tickets. You'll probably have enough change left over to buy a soda, so feel free to do that as well. Nets fever - catch it.

Let's Read About Some (Spring) Football

While the actual football season is many months away, for the Syracuse football team, spring football is here. Getting a read on anything that happens in the spring is always a crapshoot since the team will be different in the fall and is playing against itself. You never know whether you can chalk up a brilliant offensive performance to great offense or crappy defense - and vice versa.

Regardless, Dan Kelly has been attending practices and writing reports - you should check them out, it beats watching Dickie V scream about Duke basketball all week.

Here is the Post Standard story. Practice resumes Monday at 4 pm -- and remember, while the Orange may be a long way from a national title, we are also a long way from having fans dress like this:

#7: 1992 Duke

Checking in at #7 on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, of the HumpIdiot Era are the 1992 Duke Blue Devils.



AJV, "The last time we may ever see two white boys lead a team to the title. Hill's pass to Laettner is one of the greatest plays in tournament history. The fact that Laettner went to the most pretentious high school in upstate New York bumps them from the top spot. "

Champ, "Another team I despised. Let's not forget Laettner should have been tossed from that Kentucky game for his foot stomp. The Fab Five would make their mark this tourney."

T3I Video Bonus: Laettner Stomp

1992 One Shining Moment (Including Mike Hopkins' Rocky Balboa Imitation at 1:12 Mark):



The Complete List:

#8: 1984 Georgetown
#9: 1989 Michigan
#10: CENSORED
#11: 1997 Arizona
#12: 1993 UNC
#13: 2005 UNC
#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

Troy Nunes Beats Syracuse

Adding insult to injury, in addition to upsetting Syracuse, Butler did it with a coach, Brad Stevens, that is a dead ringer for Troy Nunes. Check it out for yourself.

Syracuse Season Shut Down

A special season ended tonight for the Syracuse Orange, who handed a Sweet Sixteen game to the Butler Bulldogs on a silver platter, losing 63-59. Butler advances to the Elite 8, while Syracuse heads home wondering what happened.

The game ended two hours ago and as a fan, it hurts. It hurts like hell. I'm sure for the SU players and coaches it hurts more. Before I get into some observations from tonight, allow me to provide a little perspective so you know where I'm coming from.

Being critical, especially as a fan of a team you love is a tricky proposition. It gets more tricky when we're talking about college athletes. While no one wants to blast young men who are engaged in "amateur" athletics, in the real world (which college is supposed to prepare you for but doesn't) you are measured by how you perform against your peers. So through that prism, let's take a look at what happened tonight.

Many years ago Champ and I played high school basketball on the same team. Our teams were terrible. In our junior and senior years combined we went 7-33. Part of the reason why our teams sucked was simple, we weren't very good. Sure we busted our asses, but sometimes (most of the time) that wasn't enough. We know what it's like to expend effort, try your best and lose.

Now we are in our mid 30s. Once a week, I still play pick up basketball with friends. The games often get heated, because even when you're playing for nothing on a Wednesday night in an elementary school gym, if you love the game you play to win. If you're not playing to win, go run on a treadmill, because no one wants you on their team.

So I speak as a basketball player. An old, unsuccessful, but still active player. I've played this game for 30 plus years and I'll play it until I need a wheelchair. As such, I know that sometimes when you're on the court you do EVERYTHING in your power to win and it doesn't happen. You call out picks, box out, and know what guys you can chase under screens and what you guys you have to switch on to stop jumpers. You do all those things and sometimes it isn't enough. You still screw up. You make a bad pass - blow an assignment - get beat on screen.

There's no reason why the ball goes through your hands. There's no reason why you dribble one off your foot, even though your handle is tight. Sometimes shit just flat out doesn't go your way, no matter how hard you try. That's what happened to Syracuse tonight.

So, that's a long way of saying I think every player on the SU team WANTED to win, and they all TRIED AS HARD AS THEY COULD to win, but that doesn't change what we observed tonight. Here is the final set of game observations for the 2009-2010 SU basketball team.

- The first 10 minutes of the game the team was flat. Guys didn't have their hands up, they weren't moving well enough in the zone, and they stood around way to much in half court offensive sets. I don't know how this happens, but the energy level wasn't where it should have been. The sense of urgency wasn't what it should have been.

- Let's give credit to Butler, they fought hard and won the game. They had a game plan, executed the game plan and that was part of the reason SU played poorly. That being said, there's no way SU should have lost this game.

- There was a lack of urgency on both ends in the first half especially. Guys settled for jumpers and off-balance shots instead of trying to get to the rim. Ball movement was lethargic. Passes were will ill-timed. The first half was a mess.

- Scoop Jardine and Kris Joseph can get to the hole on anyone in the country off the dribble. They didn't get to the hole against a smaller, less athletic Butler team. That was disappointing.

- Did someone grease Rick Jackson's hands before the game? He really struggled to hang onto the ball tonight.

- For whatever reason Syracuse refused to push tempo. In the open court this team was deadly. They didn't have many opportunities to run, however, you can push the ball after made baskets and you can push the ball after every missed shot. SU was content to play at Butler's pace, which benefited the Bulldogs.

- The box score says Syracuse had 18 turnovers. I have to think at least 50% of those were unforced. 18 turnovers actually seems low but when you contrast that with 7 turnovers for Butler, you don't need a medical degree to figure out what went wrong.

- There was a total team failure in terms of trying to get Wes the ball in the post. He had a much smaller guy on him, but the Orange couldn't get him the ball. When he did get the ball, he didn't convert. It was eerily similar to Hakim Warrick in the post against Vermont in 2005.

- Andy Rautins was great in the second half, making tough shot after tough shot to rally the Orange. It is a shame that a lot of people will remember the last four minutes of the game. Speaking of which.....

- As far as the last 4 minutes go, you all saw it. Draw your own conclusions. I'm as speechless as you are. It was a mess.

The bottom line is this was a special season. You don't win 30 games and reach the number one ranking in the country if you aren't good. And let's not forget winning tournament games is hard. Syracuse made it to the final 16 teams of the season. That should be applauded.

Sadly, it is also what makes this loss so hard. When you spend most of the season as a top 5 team and can't make it past the Sweet Sixteen, it feels a little empty. I'm not going to apologize for saying that, and I'm sure if you asked Syracuse players, they'd tell you the same thing. They expected to win this game and didn't. So it stings.

Syracuse is a better team than Butler. Butler was a better team tonight. Losing because your team didn't have it's starting center and the other team was more talented or athletic is one thing - losing because of a lack of focus in the first 10 minutes of the game and a lack of execution in the last 4 is harder to swallow.

Only one of the 65 teams in the the NCAA tournament ends its season with a win. Syracuse ended the season of two other teams -- we thought, given what we'd seen all season, that number would have been higher. It wasn't.

Pat Forde Strikes Again

If Syracuse fans and ESPN's Pat Forde were married, the state of the union would fall squarely into the Tiger and Elin or Jesse James and Sandra Bullock range. Let's just say it's been strained.

He kicked off the season telling the world that Seton Hall - Rutgers would be a bigger rivalry than Syracuse - Georgetown and it went down hill from there. Further Forde offenses include leaving Syracuse out of his top 25 in January and taking shots at the football team. Nunesmagician has been watching Forde like a fat kid watches a bearclaw, so click here for more Forde offenses.

The latest salvo from Pat comes in the form of his most recent column, where he highlights lovable underdogs and eviscerates the favorites who remain in the NCAA tournament. He does this to help fans of teams whose schools have been eliminated know who to root for - because college basketball fans can't figure out which teams are the favorites and which are the underdogs on their own.

He puts Syracuse in his "villain" category - along with Duke, Kentucky and Ohio State. His reasoning:

"And then there is Syracuse, which put 35,000 fans in the Carrier Dome for a game this season. Who can root for a team that does that? Its coach last smiled in a game in 1978, but the video evidence of that has been destroyed."

Now to be fair, the column was tongue in cheek. It's a "hey let's root for the underdogs piece," and he doesn't think he really thinks his "villains" are bad. It's lazy, but these guys have to find something to write about, but even so Pat should know we are watching.

Besides - how could Syracuse be real villain of the West Region when Kansas State is in the same bracket. I mean, have you SEEN Frank Martin? The man is a lunatic. He's stark, raving mad.

Farewell good friends

Our buddy Poncho is hanging 'em up. We wish our good friends at the SportHump nothing but the best in their future endeavors.

Poncho, we're keeping it East coast here:

Ebay Item of the Week: Beat the Butler

This week's Ebay Item of the Week pays tribute to Syracuse's Regional Semifinal opponent, Butler University. For $99.95 you can own a piece of one of the '80s most beloved butlers.

#8: 1984 Georgetown

The1984 Georgetown Hoyas hold down the # 8 spot on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, Of The HumpIdiot Era Countdown.

Boss, "Have to give the Hoyas some credit for that run in the 1980's, 3 Finals appearances in 4 years from '82-'85."

Champ, "God I hated this team. I'm talking Sgt. Slaughter-turning-Iraqi-sympathizer level of hate here. They dominated the Big East with their dirty play. My money is still on Andre Hawkins to take out Michael Graham in my '80s Big East Ultimate Fighter competition I want to bring to T3I-TV."

The Complete List:

#9: 1989 Michigan
#10: CENSORED
#11: 1997 Arizona
#12: 1993 UNC
#13: 2005 UNC
#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

Kige Ramsey Likes the Orange

No one understands that brevity is the soul of wit better than Kige Ramsey. Here is his preview of the Midwest and West regional games.

March Madness on the Sports Fix

Are you tired of reading? Are you like Gary Dell'abate and prefer books on tape? Do you just not like words but still want your fill of idiocy? Then I've got a solution for you -- today I was on Matt Mc's Sports Fix talking about the NCAA tournament. You can listen to the show by clicking here (a new browser will open). As always, thanks to Matt for having me on and make sure you check out the Sports Fix daily.

Matt and I certainly agreed - the wait between the opening round and the Sweet 16 is brutal. 7:07 pm Thursday can't get here soon enough. There's no doubt the waiting is the hardest part.

#9: 1989 Michigan

Can you feel the excitement? We've cracked the Top 10 of this stupid poll. Checking in, thanks to a phantom foul call sending Rumeal Robinson to the line, at the #9 spot of the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, Of The HumpIdiot Era Countdown are the 1989 Michigan Wolverines.

The Captain, "2 things I liked about this game: 1 - Michigan coach Steve Fisher was a replacement after Schembechler fired Bill Frieder for accepting the Arizona State job, and. 2 - PJ Carlisimo didn't get choked which is a good thing. ( Seton Hall was good once ??? ) "

Poncho, "When 'Big Blue' was 'Big Blue'. "

Editor's Note: The '89 Illinois Final Four team that beat Cuse in the Regional Finals has to be one of the most loaded teams not to win a title. I'm also shocked this team didn't make The Russianator's list, for Glen Rice alone. He's a sucker for guys who jack 3s and play no defense.

T3I Video Bonus: 1989's One Shining Moment:




The Complete List:


#10: CENSORED
#11: 1997 Arizona
#12: 1993 UNC
#13: 2005 UNC
#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

The Glory of Gus

Gus Johnson and Len Elmore will be calling the action in Salt Lake City, including the Syracuse-Butler game which tips at 7:07 pm Thursday.

Listening to Gus Johnson work a college basketball game is pure joy. Gus' energy, enthusiasm and wild over reactions to nearly every play are things I personally love. Is he over the top? Absolutely - but if you can't have fun watching a game while Gus is absolutely losing his mind, you need to lighten up. Or your team is getting upset -- in which case I'll give you a pass.

Here's how you know Gus is great - Phil Mushnick, the definition of miserable prick, misses Billy Packer and criticizes Gus - for having the gall to report that Syracuse was on a 15-4 run in the game against Gonzaga, when Syracuse was on 15-4 run.

By now you are well aware of the Gus Johnson soundboard and are surely using it for good instead of evil - but while we anxiously wait for tip off on Thursday, let's go back in time and revel in one of the most classic Gus Johnson clips ever. The video below is from the Xavier (playing the second game in Salt Lake City against Kansas State) Ohio State game from three years ago. It's where there great HAHAAAA line comes from.

Take it away Gus:



And when you're done with that, make sure to head over to the Sport Hump and play One Cool Guy and Two Douchebags - it features someone even worse than Mushnick.

#10: 1987 Indiana

Settiling in at #10 on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, Of The HumpIdiot Era Countdown is some team from Indiana.


Poncho, " I was 12 years old watching this game with my dad which ended with him throwing a glass mug at our Zenith television and breaking the tube. From that day on, I hated Bobby Knight and Hoosier red. We now have the nephew of Howard Triche to remind us of that day – all season long. That was the first time as a young man I felt like a bottle of ass. "

Editor's Note: All photos and videos of this game have been forever removed from this blog. Interestingly enough, this was the first year of "One Shining Moment," but I'll be damned if I'm playing it here.

The Complete List:

#11: 1997 Arizona
#12: 1993 UNC
#13: 2005 UNC
#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

NCAA Jam

Halfway through the second half of the ass-kicking Syracuse administered to Gonzaga, a tweet appeared in my twitter feed that said, "I feel like I'm watching a game of NBA Jam." I apologize to the author because I can't remember who said* it, but the sentiment was perfect. Playing without Arinze Onuaku, the SU perimeter guys scored like they were in a video game.

I'm not going to lie, going into this game, I was nervous. Gonzaga had the size to give SU fits down low and the discipline and coaching to attack the 2-3 zone. If Rick Jackson got in foul trouble, disaster surely would follow.

Well, we now know a few things:

1) I am an idiot (this is a well established fact)
2) When Wes Johnson and Andy Rautins combine to shoot 9-15 from three point range there's not a team in the country that's going to beat the Orange.
3) DaShonte Riley, when asked to take up space, can take up space.

Let's get to a few observations:

- Brandon Triche, it's nice to see you again. After struggling through almost all of February the freshman has saved his best for last. He's got confidence in his jump shot again, and more importantly, he took the ball strong to the rim and remained under control.

- As was mentioned above, Riley took up space on the defensive end of the floor, put a body on Robert Sacre and and that allowed Kris Joseph and Wes Johnson to clear the glass. Syracuse went from a potential disaster when he entered the game to a 15 point half time lead. That's almost more insane than Kansas losing.

- 31 points on just 16 shots for Wes Johnson. Andy Rautins only needed 13 shots to get 24 points. You don't get much more efficient than that.

- I was less than impressed with Matt Bouldin. That's your WCC player of the year? Really? He was non-existent when his team needed him the most. Robert Sacre and and Elias Harris - those guys can ball.

- Scoop Jardine scored 9 points - but 7 of them came early in the first half when Gonzaga was really executing on offense and the game was tight. He has an incredible knack for playing his best when his team needs it the most.

- In 2003 SU beat four Big XII teams on the way to a national title. With Butler up next, and Xavier still alive in SU's bracket, the potential exists for the Orange to beat 4** mid-majors on the way to the Final Four.

- With the Orange blowing the Bulldogs out early in the second half, we were robbed of any dramatic Gus Johnson calls. Don't fear - Gus is always available at the Gus Johnson soundboard. Go nuts, Gus always does.

- Wes Johnson's hand obviously feels better. So much better, the mainstream media is intent on telling us how he can now handle a laptop.

- Something tells me Arinze's Quad is going to be watched more than Barbaro's leg this week. Let's hope the ultimate result is better.


* By using the team "saying it" I meant someone typed it into twitter. Since no one actually speaks to each other anymore, this now counts as speech. 10 years from now evolution will have phased vocal chords out of the human body, that's a scientific fact - or something.

** Technically I think Vermont is actually a low-major, the America East is brutal, so humor me on that point.

#11: 1997 Arizona

We're closing in on the Top 10 of this stupid countdown. Holding down the #11 spot on the Top NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, Of The HumpIdiot Era are the 1997 Arizona Wildcats.

Russianator, "For whatever reason, this team was memorable to me. Miles Simon was great and listening to the announcers talk EVERY GAME about how Mike Bibby hated his dad was a bonus."

Captain, "Arizona beat 3 - #1 seeds to win the championship. And the fact that they beat Kentucky that beat SU the year before is a good thing too. "

T3I Video Bonus: 1997's One Shining Moment:



The Complete List:

#12: 1993 UNC
#13: 2005 UNC
#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

Creepiest Pep Song Ever

There are few things in the world that leave me speechless - but the song below might be one of them. It's supposed to be a song for Syracuse. Enjoy "We Are Orange" the latest song from whoever the hell this guy is......

Gonzaga-Tube

Let's get ready for the Gonzaga game by watching a few videos. First up, coach Mark Few talks about facing the Orange.



Gonzaga's Matt Bouldin talks about the crowd and the zone.



Robert Sacre talks about beating the zone.



And Elias Harris is ready to go to war.

Syracuse - Vermont Highlights

Relive Syracuse's win over Vermont with the highlights below. Gus Johnson + Scoop's killer crossover = video gold.

#12: 1993 UNC

Dean Smith's 1993 team finds themselves holding down the #12 spot on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, of the HumpIdiot Era.


The Captain, "Counting with Chris Webber is easy kids."

Poncho, "One long word – Timeout! Also, Eric Montross was a large fella."

T3I Video Bonus: Chris Webber's Memory Lapse

1993's One Shining Moment:

The Complete List:

#13: 2005 UNC
#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

Fill Out Those Brackets

There are a few short hours left to complete your brackets so if you haven't done it yet, get moving. There has been a lot of talk about expanding the tournament, which would make last minute selections even more difficult for you procrastinators out there, however, if you want to see what a 96 team tournament would look like this year, the ACC Sports Journal put one together using this year's field.

Let's just say - it's not good, unless you're dying to see Illinois State and UAB go head to head or watch Kent State and NC State go at it. Because, you know, these teams are legitimate title threats. Ugh. It's reassuring to know that tournament expansion is an epically bad idea that will happen anyway.

ACC Sports Journal -Putting Together A 96-Team Bracket

Ebay Item of the Week: Express Lighting

If there's a better way to celebrate the life of Syracuse's only Heisman trophy winner than by owning an Ernie Davis switch plate cover, we want to know.

#13: 2005 UNC

Checking in at the unlucky #13 spot on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, Of the HumpIdiot Era Countdown is the 2005 North Carolina squad. After a steady diet of Duke and UConn, we've got another unpleasant taste to shove down your throats.

Poncho, "That freshmen Hansbrough was a scrappy kid. Two years after Roy Williams didn’t want to answer questions about UNC after his big loss to Syracuse in 2003, he ended up winning a national title in Carolina….Go figure? Roy Williams, you’re a Ass-Jacker.

Champ, "There was a ton of talent on the UNC team. This win deprived me of one of my favorite rites-of-March: watching Roy Williams cry in the post-game press conferenced."

T3I Video Bonus: 2005's One Shining Moment (Vermont game warning)

The Complete List:

#14: 1999 UConn
#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

We Believe In: Cheese Curds

Mmmmm......cheese curds

Having grown up in Central New York, The Idiots are big fans of these things. During a T3I tour stop in Montreal, we quickly developed a new appreciation for these beauties combined with french fries and gravy.

We're spoiled in CNY with the fine folks at Heluva Good just down the road producing this staple of our March Madness grazing menu. These make for a perfect gametime snack. We're big fans, and if we keep eating this crap, we'll soon be even bigger.

#14: 1999 UConn

The dirtbags from Storrs land at #14 on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, of The HumpIdiot Era Countdown. I had a really cool picture of the '99 squad to post, but then Khalid-El-Amin ate it.

Poncho, "Anytime a Big East foe beats Duke in a national title game, they deserve some street cred. Rip Hamilton led this squad which cememted Uconn’s status as a perennial basketball powerhouse."

Editor's Note: I hate UConn.


The Complete List:

#15: 1991 Duke
#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

Jay Bilas on Syracuse

In this very shiny video Jay Bilas discusses the Syracuse 2-3 zone and how hard it is to prepare for the Orange.

Fran McCaffery is no Fan of High Majors

Let me say as a coach I have the utmost respect for Siena coach Fran McCaffery. He took over a program that won 6 games the year before he arrived and almost instantly turned things around. Playing an uptempo brand of basketball, the Saints are fun to watch and have qualified for the NCAA tournament for the third consecutive year. They have won first round games in each of the past two years.

This year they are a chic pick to upset Robbie Hummel-less Purdue, however a word to the wise, if Clarence Jackson can't go, I'd think long and hard about picking Siena. He's athletic as hell and the team's best three point shooter. They have very little depth and losing Jackson would be a big blow.

So while I think the world of McCaffery as a coach, as voter in the USA Today coaches' poll, he's a bit of a clown. Now obviously these rankings don't mean anything since college basketball actually decides its champion on the court, but McCaffery's ballot, revealed here, has Syracuse at number 9, behind teams such as Butler, Temple and Northern Iowa.

As the Times Union points out, his ballot has been favorable all year to mid-majors, but putting Syracuse 9th - five spots behind Butler is just plain dumb. The Bulldogs are a fine team but they wouldn't win the Big East by two games. Temple had a very good year in the A-10, but they aren't 4 spots better than the Orange. And Northern Iowa is a 9 seed in the NCAA tournament.

Of course the common denominator regarding Butler, Temple and Northern Iowa? They all beat Siena. So maybe the key to getting Fran's vote is to get on the Saints' schedule and toss them a quick beating.

We Believe In: Kill The Man With The Ball

We believe in America's favorite recess pastime: Kill The Man With the Ball.

For idiots, we're huge fans of games with one rule; we can handle that.

Fun times indeed.

Scenes From Old SU Game Programs

Don't even ask what neighborhood Greg Robinson Blvd. was in.

#15: 1991 Duke

Checking in at #15 on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, of the HumpIdiot Era are the 1991 Duke Blue Devils. T3I just recevied word that this year's NCAA selection committee has asked us to bump '91 Duke up to the #1 spot, we respectfully declined.

Boss, "They took down defending champ UNLV in the Semifinals...that made Coach K cry, much like everything else."

T3I Video Bonus: '91 One Shining Moment (Richmond Spider Warning)

The Complete List:

#16: 1986 Louisville
#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

The Early Show Thinks SU Wears Blue Jerseys

From Deadspin we learn that CBS morning show host Harry Smith knows nothing about basketball. This does not surprise me in the least. What is surprising is that CBS has some mannequins wearing the jerseys of the four number one seeds and the Syracuse jersey they show IS BLUE. They chose to show the dreaded bad luck blue jersey that has only been broken out twice in more than 20 years -- and both times SU lost while wearing that color.

Most of the video is unwatchable -- it explains things even a 5 year old understands like how a bracket works, so skip to 4:30 mark of the video to see the offending jersey. Clearly the Early Show is now added to the enemies list.


Watch CBS News Videos Online

NCAA Tournament - the T Shirt!

The folks at SU and Holy Shirt love making t-shirts. They make them for 6 OT games, they make them when Boeheim swears at a presser, and they make them when point guards transfer in from another school and become quarterbacks.

I know this well, I own a couple of the items referenced above - so it wasn't a surprise to get an email from the Syracuse Bookstore this morning advertising new NCAA Tournament t-shirts. While I don't have a problem with them peddling merchandise, it does seem to have a Mel Brooks like quality to it at this point......

The Warts of the West

While most people agree that Syracuse should have been the third number one seed instead of Duke, overall I think the Orange drew a favorable bracket by being sent out West. For starters - Louisville isn't in the region - and after a few hours of sifting through the bracket, teams in the Midwest clearly have the hardest road to the championship.

While we will hear the virtues of all the teams in the tournament repeatedly over the next few days the simple fact remains that in three weeks time, 64 teams will have ended their seasons with a loss. With that in mind, I thought I'd take a look at who the teams in the West lost to, and what kind of losses occurred. That way we won't all be shocked when some teams put up the inevitable clunker.

Below I've compiled the biggest loss for each team in the West bracket terms of point differential and also the worst loss each team suffered to a team they should have beat throughout the year. Now a few of these teams really didn't have any bad losses, so keep that in mind as you sift through these failures.

(1) Syracuse

Biggest loss: 78-68 to Louisville on 3/6
Worst loss: 66-60 to Louisville on 2/14

(16) Vermont

Biggest loss: 106-64 to Providence on 11/24
Worst loss: 56-50 to Delaware (finished the year 7-24) on 12/20

(8) Gonzaga

Biggest loss: 76-41 to Duke on 12/19
Worst loss: 81-77 (OT) to San Francisco (finished 12-18) on 1/30

(9) Florida State

Biggest loss: 68-52 to Florida on 11/24
Worst loss: 88-81 to NC State (finished 19-15) on 1/12

(5) Butler

Biggest loss: 67-57 to UAB on 12/22
Worst loss: 67-57 to UAB (finished 23-8) on 12/22

(12) UTEP

Biggest loss: 75-65 to Houston on 1/13
Worst loss: 81-73 to Houston on 3/13 (almost cost them a spot in the tourney)

(4) Vanderbilt

Biggest loss: 72-58 to Georgia on 1/30
Worst loss: 68-63 to South Carolina (finished 15-16) on 3/6

(13) Murray State

Biggest loss: 83-72 to Western Kentucky on 12/22
Worst loss: 87-81 to Louisiana Tech (finished 9-7 in the WAC) on 12/15

(6) Xavier

Biggest loss: 90-65 to Dayton on 2/6
Worst loss: 90-65 to Dayton (8-8 in the CAA A-10) on 2/6

(11) Minnesota

Biggest loss: 90-61 to Ohio State on 3/14
Worst loss: 81-78 (OT) to Indiana (finished 10-21) on 1/17

(3) Pittsburgh

Biggest loss: 78-62 to Texas on 11/24
Worst loss: 74-64 to Indiana on 12/8

(14) Oakland

Biggest loss: 92-60 to Syracuse on 12/22
Worst loss: 72-60 to Oregon (finished 16-16) on 12/19

(7) BYU

Biggest loss: 88-74 to UNLV on 2/6
Worst loss: 88-74 to UNLV on 2/6

(10) Florida

Biggest loss: 85-73 to Syracuse on 12/10
Worst loss: 67-66 to South Alabama (finished 17-15) on 12/22

(2) Kansas State

Biggest loss: 82-65 to Kansas on 3/3
Worst loss: 85-82 to Iowa State (finished 15-17) on 3/6

(15) North Texas

Biggest loss: 71-56 to Arkansas State on 1/2
Worst loss: 80-70 to Florida International (finished 7-25) on 12/20

#16: 1986 Louisville

Flying ito the #16 spot on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, of the HumpIdiot Era is "Never Nervous" Pervis Ellison's 1986 Card squad.




Boss, "Navy beating the Orangemen at the Dome in NCAA 2nd round...still can't get past that!

Poncho, "Denny Crum and Pervis Ellison took this Metro conference team to the title. This Louisville team helped me realize how much I would detest Duke basketball in the forthcoming years. Although, I am a bit slated by recent events with Louisville basketball as an Orange Fan."

Video Bonus: Watch The Title Game in 2 Minutes Here (Extra Bonus, Jay Bilas in really short-shorts)

The Complete List:

#17: 1995 UCLA
#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

Female Football Coach Hired - Goldie Hawn Unimpressed

Natalie Randolph is the new football coach at Calvin Coolidge Senior High in Washington DC. People are excited over this news - but we here at T3I want to remind people that this is not new ground. Goldie Hawn was coaching Central High in 1986.

She won with Woody Harrelson playing quarterback, and every one knows he was baked out of his mind. This makes her 100 times more successful than Greg Robinson. So while we congratulatuon Ms. Randolph on the new job, let's not forget Goldie.

Ebay Item of the Week: Add To Queue

I've serached high and low on Netflix to find the best in Jim Boeheim's film work. This week's Ebay Item of the Week might be his best work since Blue Chips. For $38.77 you can own his 2-3 Zone Defense DVD.

#17: 1995 UCLA

The 1995 UCLA Bruins claim the #17 spot on The Top NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, Of the HumpIdiot Era Countdown.


AJV: "The early/mid-90's were college basketball's glory days. Cameron Dollar's full court drive in Boise was the signature play of the tournament and before the O'Bannon boys were NBA busts they were pretty good college players."

Russianator, "Jim Harrick won a national title, beating Nolan Richardson and the Arkansas Razorbacks in the title game. Both men would melt down spectacularly years later. In Harrick's case especially, it proves sometimes it's better to be lucky than good - and Harrick was when Missouri decided that guarding Tyus Edney was too much work and Edney went coast to coast to get the Bruins into the sweet sixteen. "

Champ, "'95 tourney thoughts: Toby Bailey had hops, Arkansas had no business in that title game (Moten TO game), Big Country Mania was runnin' wild brother!"

T3I Double Video Bonus: Tyus' Coast-To-Coast and 1995's One Shining Moment:

The Complete List:

#18: 2008 Kansas
#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

Others Receivng Votes: 1988 Kansas, 2009 UNC

Doug Marrone Will Come to Your Bar Mitzvah

I've been a little swamped at work this week so I apologize for depriving you of my mellifluous prose. Something tells me you'll survive. In the meantime, forget about me, you can hire Doug Marrone for your next event. According the Athlete Promotions web site, the SU Coach is available for:

"Corporate event appearances, personal appearances, casino appearances, tradeshow appearances, corporate golf tournaments, sports camps, autograph signings, endorsement deals, television commercials, radio commercials, store grand openings, new product launch campaigns, spokesperson campaigns and speaking appearances."

Of course, how much it costs to book the coach mystery, you'll have to 888-246-7141 for booking fees. If any one does call, drop us a line and let us know how much cash it costs to get the coach to come to your house. Who knows, if it's reasonable he could be the featured speaker at The Three Idiots Expo that we aren't planning.

Whatever the cost, I'm sure it will be a tremendous bargain. Let's be honest, Coach Marrone could fire up someone in a coma. The man does not lack passion. However, what he does lack is a bio that contains certainty. On the aforementioned web site, Doug's bio says:

Reportedly, alumni such as Tim Green and Floyd Little wanted Marrone from the moment Robinson was fired, and when interviewed by Green, it was learned that Marrone had kept a folder of current high school players in the Syracuse area to get a head start in recruiting.

"Reportedly?" Call me crazy, but if Doug is a client, shouldn't his bio be free of rumors and conjecture? Would it be so hard to just confirm the info? Might be time to bump up that booking fee and hire someone to write a bio.......

#18: 2008 Kansas

Bill Self's 2008 Jayhawk squad claims the #18 spot on the Top 20 NCAA Champions, Other Than 2003 Syracuse, of the HumpIdiot Era Countdown.

Captain, "Not a fan of either of these programs, but when Calapari looses, it makes me happy. This guy is a virus, and what ever he touches suffers. Wait till he leaves Kentucky, you'll see."

Russianator, "Mario Chalmers made one of the most memorable shots in NCAA history to help Kansas beat Memphis, although the record books don't reflect it. I can't wait for Kentucky's next final four appearance to be wiped off the books 5 five years from now. "

T3I Bonus: 2008 One Shining Moment

The Complete List:

#19: 2004 UConn
#20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (Tie)

#19: 2004 UConn

Checking in at #19 on The Top NCAA Champions of The HumpIdiot Era, Other Than 2003 Syracuse Countdown is fellow Big East brethren, the 2004 UConn Huskies.



AJV, "Okafor and Gordon were a dynamic inside/outside presence. "

HumpIdiot Bonus: 2004's One Shining Moment:



The Complete List

20: 2001 Duke and 2006 Florida (tie)

Others receiving votes: 1988 Kansas,