The question is this -- would you wager your life on the fact that the UConn women's team will win the National Title in exchange for a million dollars? Meaning, if you accept the bet and UConn wins the title, you get a cool million. If they don't win it all, you get killed.
Being a wise ass, I usually have a quick retort when things like this are posed to me (which happens more than you'd think) - but on this one I've really had to think about it. On the one hand, UConn is a virtual lock to win the title. No team can come within 40 points of them. They have won 76 straight games and in those games have trailed for a total of 3:37 total in the second half.
On the other hand, while the chances are remote, there's a chance they could actually lose. Half the team could simultaneously blow out ACLs or something and the last time I checked, being dead would suck. I don't think my family or friends would be happy with that. Plus my fiance always forgets to feed the cat, so the little bastard's death is all but inevitable if I'm not around.
So let's break this down point by point and see if we can come up with an answer.
Pros to taking the bet
- A million dollars is nice. It's not enough to retire on, but it's a really good start. And it's almost a million more than I have now.
- There's very little chance of losing. UConn's smallest margin of victory this year is 12 and they are winning tournament games by an average of 47 points per game. Lawn mowers versus grass is more competitive right now.
- I work hard and earn a decent salary but it's my dream to do nothing and be given a large sum cash. Working blows.
- Without having to work 50 hours a week, there would be more time to write on this blog (this is a pro for me - and a con to you, since you'd be reading a lot more posts like this).
Cons to Taking the Bet
- I'd have to watch women's college basketball since there's a little something riding on it. This would be tough.
- As stated above, I have a strong desire not to die.
- I'd have to root for a team from UConn - which is worse than watching a Kathy Bates nude scene -although both instantly induce uncontrollable vomiting.
- There was no method of death specified. If you have to die there are ways that are far more preferable to others. I'd hate to lose the bet and find out I'm going to be killed in some painful horrifying fashion. That would be adding insult to injury right there.
- My life would be in the hands of Geno Auriemma - a fantastic coach, but a Hall of Fame douche. In a perfect world if my life is dependent on one person I'd prefer that the person not be a world class jerk off, but hey, that's just me.
- A million isn't what it used to be -- especially after I buy a lifetime supply of Cheetos and purchase a controlling interest in Jolt Cola.
After breaking it down, I don't think a million is enough, but I think for 10 million, I might be in. So what do you think - and how much would it take for you? Also, someone get a hold of the new Nets owner, I think he might be crazy enough to finance something like this.