Monday, January 24, 2011

Coach Bobby Finstock's Keys to the Game

Bobby Finstock is a basketball coaching legend
Here at T3I we are lucky.  Over the years we've had some pretty special people visit us and give their unique take on the world of sports.  Last fall Mr. T. was kind enough to take a break from promoting the DVD release of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs to help us predict Syracuse football games.

And this year, in an announcement that dwarfs Oprah's lame half sister news, we are pleased to announce we'll have another celebrity stopping by.  From time to time Coach Bobby Finstock will help us preview Syracuse basketball opponents and break down upcoming games with his unique point of view.  I don't have to tell you that it's a special day when Coach Bobby makes an appearance.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Coach's qualifications, we'll bring you up to speed.  Bobby led the Beacontown High team to the 1985 state title.  Much like Phil Jackson's first title, Finstock relied on a star player -- in this case Scott Howard -- to carry a scrappy bunch to an unexpected title. Here are a few highlights from that season.

Finstock showed his sports versatility by then accepting a job as the boxing coach at Hamilton University, however, no one seems to have noticed.

He returned to basketball in 1988, coaching at several institutions of higher learning but was unable to replicate his success or find a suitable werewolf that could thrive in his revolutionary 1 on 5 offense.  However, Larry Brown was intrigued and very quietly hired him as a consultant and the two men implemented Bobby's offense. Brown used Allen Iverson in the role of the wolf and took the 76ers all the way to the 2001 NBA Finals.

Citing burnout, Finstock again left the game of basketball and took a job as a manager at Harold Howard's hardware store -- unfortunately Home Depot came to town and ran it out of business six months later.  However, he's now rejuvenated and looking for work so Coach Finstock has agreed to periodically stop by and break down upcoming Syracuse games for us.  Today he breaks down SU's Tuesday rematch against Seton Hall.  The words below are his - take it away Bobby:

Coach Bobby's Take

From the Syracuse perspective, this is a classic trap game.  It's kind of like the time I was banging Chubb's mom on the side -- don't laugh, she was thin -- her son was the only fat one the family. Well this lady tells me she can't have kids, so the second I hear that, the condoms go out the window.  Bobby Finstock doesn't wear a raincoat when the sun is shining. And boy oh boy - I hit that thing more times than Charlie Sheen hits a pile of nose candy. 

Things are going well enough until I find out one day she CAN have kids - and she isn't even divorced.  Turns out, she wanted to make a Bobby Jr. and was trying to trap me into knocking her up -- and her husband was OK with it.  I guess he didn't want another fat kid in the family and let's face it, Finstock isn't making any chunky monkeys. 

What's worse is this pervert was actually hiding in the closet filming us! Can you believe that?  I never would have found out if I hadn't been talking to Stiles one day and he told me he sold the guy some black market video equipment on the cheap to pay off a gambling debt.

So that's how I see this game.  Syracuse needs to protect itself and wrap it up. Jeremy Hazell is like Chubb's mom - he used to be hot and even though he's not what he used to be, he's still dangerous enough to cause trouble.  And Herb Pope is like the old man - hiding in the closet but you never know when he'll come out and do some damage. They take care of those two things and everything will be cream cheese.  They don't - and who knows who gets knocked up.

There it is folks, you won't get analysis like that anyplace else.

No comments: