Tuesday, February 22, 2011

What Will The ESPN Ticker Do Now?

Photo: NY Daily News/AP
First Brett Favre retired (again), and now the much talked about Carmelo Anthony trade has finally taken place. With two of ESPN's "Bottom Line" favorite subjects now out of the rotation, the poor interns who program it will be left scrambling for other meaningless updates to scroll across America's TV sets.

In a T3I exclusive, our "ESPN Mole" gave us an inside look into what will take the place of Carmelo Anthony trade rumors on the Bottom Line in the coming weeks:

* PUJOLS: In case you haven't heard, the best player in baseball hasn't signed an extension....the ticker is here to remind you.

* AROD: Expect continuous updates on the snack foods being fed to him by Cameron Diaz during Spring Training.

* NHL: Up-to-minute playoff updates....wait a minute....who are we kidding....half the NHL news ESPN reports is completely made up by some guy in Canada.

* XGAMES: Like the NHL, I can't even make up a joke here.

* NFL LOCKOUT: It's a long off season, which means lots of Bryant McKinnie bar tabs to be picked up.

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