Jared Lorenzen is Still Playing -- and Eating Footballs

This man has 69 TD passes this year, or one for every chin

Jared Lorenzen rose to prominence as a record setting quarterback at the University of Kentucky. The Hefty Lefty was known for having a cannon for an arm, wearing the number 22, and being so fat you'd think he ate the only other QB that wore 22, Doug Flutie.

Even given his girth, Lorenzen had talent and actually was a back up for the NY Giants from 2005 through 2007, racking up career totals of 28 yards passing, 2 yards rushing, and 8 trips a week to the Rutgers grease trucks.

So what's J-load up to these days -- besides about 400 pounds? Why playing football of course, and playing well. Granted, he's playing in something called the Ultimate Indoor Football League, where, as you can see from the photo above, he's getting paid in Hardee's Monster Thickburgers.

The fact that a guy that easily weighs at least 400 pounds and is leading the league in passing yards per game tells us that UPS drivers in Northern Kentucky make terrible defense backs -- but that's not  really surprising.  What is surprising is that next year you can own your very own Ultimate Indoor Football expansion team.

Seriously, there's a form on leage's web page where you apply to be an owner -- and much like when you try to finance a new Kia, they ask for your annual household income.  Our advice - when the finance guy tries to sell you the undercoating and the extended warranty, take a pass.  You've got an indoor football team to buy. And since it's a fat-friendly league, we'd suggest getting Gilbert Brown to be your coach.  He's getting some solid experience in the lingerie league right now.

Tip of the hat to @AndrewMangini for the info - especially the part about getting your own expansion team.