Top 10 Rejected Tiki Barber Prisoner Analogies

Photo: NY Daily News

Former Giants running back, failed broadcaster and husband of the decade Tiki Barber created a stir when he compared hiding with his 23 year old girlfriend from the media in the home of his agent  Mark Lepselter to Anne Frank. His exact quote was, it was "Lep's Jewish, so it was a reverse Anne Frank type of thing."

Here are the top 10 hiding/prisoner analogies Tiki first considered, then rejected, because they weren't "jewy" enough.

10. Lep didn't have a mask so it was like a reverse Hannibal Lecter type of thing.

9. I don't have weird tattoos so it was like a reverse Prison Break of Fox type of thing.

8. We weren't on an island, so it was like a reverse Alcatraz type of thing.

7. I've still got both arms so it was like a reverse Richard Kimball type of thing.

6. I don't have any hair, so it was like a reverse Carson Palmer type of thing.

5. I was having sex with my girlfriend and we were both trapped, so it was like half-reverse John Jamelski type of thing.

4. It wasn't a game show and I eat caviar 3 times a day, so it was like a reverse Survivor thing - although that Boston Rob seems like a nice guy.

3. I've never been a winner so it was like a reverse Charlie Sheen at the Plaza type of thing.

2. There was no plane crash, polar bears or strange numbers, so it was like a reverse Lost type of thing -- although we did once do it in a monkey cage at the San Diego zoo.

And the number 1 considered and then rejected Tiki Barber hiding/prison analogy is.........

1. I don't work anymore so it was like a reverse Tom Coughlin practice type of thing.