Thursday, September 29, 2011

Syracuse - Rutgers Prediction

The Syracuse Orange open Big East play against the Rutgers Scarlet Knights Saturday at noon.  With the Orange ACC-bound, this series is most likely coming to an end at some point in the near future.  Since he's now retiring from 60 Minutes and has some time on his hands, we've asked Andy Rooney to predict the outcome of the game. Take it away Mr. Rooney:



Syracuse plays in a dome. I've never liked football inside. It seems unnatural, like trimming your eyebrows. The last football game I went to was 1956. It was an Army game and it was so cold that my pocketwatch froze and I had to put it under my balls to get it to work again. But I still don't think football should be played inside.  People should have to use their testicles to warm up their timepieces.

I was in the Army and would have played football, but I decided to eat a can of chick peas instead.  I like chick peas. Army men have strong chins. So does Rutgers coach Greg Sheeeeanu.  I like that.  For the life of me I can't figure out why he stayed in that crap-hole in New Jersey.  It seems to me, he should have got out in 2006 when the gettin' was good. I know a little something about leaving at the top of your game. He should have asked me for advice. I would have brought him over, sat him down on my davenport and set him straight.  

So who wins this game - the team that refuses to play outdoors - or the team that has a coach with a strong chin and bad sense of timing?  I pick the chick peas.  I like chick peas.

Syracuse - 31
Rutgers - 30

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

When he looks in the mirror does he really not notice those armpit clumps above his eyes. The PIRATE does. Hire him. SU-22 RU-21 on a successful 2 point conversion. Toledo = a bunch of whiners.

Anonymous said...

P-I-R-A-T-E
Without a doubt he would have won this game.
Marrone acts/talks tough but cant coach.