Friday, April 29, 2011

The Buffalo Bills Sexiest Draft Ever

Let's make no bones about it -- people are weird. Everywhere you go, there's a good chance you're going to be surrounded by oddballs, freaks, and people who make eye contact just a liiiiiiiitttle too long.

Many of these same people also care far too much about sports in general, and pro football specifically (I'm guilty here - and yes I'm staring right through you).

Now when you combine both of these elements - the weirdness and the over enthusiasm for pro football, then add in the fact that some of these people root for the Buffalo Bills and haven't had anything to cheer about in YEARS -- it makes perfect sense that the proper way to celebrate drafting a defensive tackle is to to dry hump everyone you see.

Check out more crazy draft reactions at Guyism. And a big Hat Tip to the World of Isaac for the info.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Ebay Item of the Week: El Dictador

Coming off a one-run, eight inning effort versus the Chicago White Sox, Bartolo Colon is the latest athlete to be honored with our Ebay Item of the Week.

An early season surprise, Bartolo has quickly become my favorite Yankee that resembles former Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega.

Speaking of Panama.....David vs. Sammy, who you got?

Happy NFL Draft Day

The NFL labor situation is still a mess -- and the best take I've read on it so far comes from baseball writer Joe Posnanski.  Seriously, go read it now, it's far more intelligent than anything you'll ever get on this site.  However, even though both sides are doing their best to alienate fans, the show must go on - and that show is the NFL Draft, which begins tonight and will continue through Saturday.

We here at T3I do enjoy the draft, however dragging out the event for 3 days seems silly to us. In fact, our exclusive sources say one of the hold ups in the labor negotiations is Roger Goodell's insistence that the draft be spread out over 255 days -- making one pick a day -- because "the fans" want more football.

So, that little rant aside, let's celebrate the draft in true T3I style - by hopping in the way back machine and enjoying some classic draft moments.

First up is the comprehensive history of Jets draft blunders.  I'd tell that blowhard Rex Ryan to suck it, but we know that has a whole different meaning to Sexy Rexy these days.

And let's not forget the old Mel Kiper - Bill Tobin feud from the mid 1990s. There's so much to love here. From Keith Olbermann's porn-stache, to the part where Tobin rants about Kiper "getting to your sister," to Buddy Ryan saying Kiper has a better track record than Tobin - it's pure awesome.

And finally, let's remember that the draft is a crap shoot people. As evidence, just a few short years ago people saying nice things about the codeine-loving JaMarcus Russell. My favorite might be -- "JaMarcus Russell is going to energize the Raiders."

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A Nelson Muntz Moment

In yet another lame weekly (we'll see) feature that you've come to expect from this crappy blog, T3I is proud to recognize a story that we take particular interest in through the words of The Simpsons character Nelson Muntz.

First up, long time enemy of Orange nation Keith Smart.

Take it away Nelson,

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

This Apple Fell Pretty Far From the Tree

It's been an odd week for the LaRussa family.  A few days ago St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony did his best Al Davis impersonation and scared the living hell out of the free world with one of the ugliest cases of pink eye you'd ever want to see.

This week his daughter Bianca announced via twitter that she's made the Oakland Raiders cheerleading squad.  This is Bianca:

When the LaRussa family gets together over the holidays they can all look back and laugh at their own personal beauty and the beast week.....or at least they should.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Welcome Home Adrian Autry

According to the Washington Post, former Syracuse point guard Adrian Autry has accepted a position on Syracuse basketball coaching staff, filling a void created when Rob Murphy took the head job at Eastern Michigan.

Autry played for Jim Boeheim from 1990-1994 and had a very, very good career.  He was most recently an assistant coach at Virginia Tech.  I couldn't find any videos of him during his playing days, so instead, lets check out a video of a weird dude holding a couple of autographed pictures of Red.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

eBay Item of the Week: The Rob Murphy Special

News broke this week that SU assistant coach Rob Murphy will be named the new head basketball coach at Eastern Michigan.  We here at T3I wish coach Murphy nothing but success and want to acknowedge all he's done to help the SU program.  He turned out to be another great hire by coach Boeheim.  In addition to some amazing recruiting success, he also had one the shiniest heads in basketball and it won't quite be the same without him on the SU bench.

However, as he heads back to his native Michigan, it's time for Coach Murph to get caught up on the heritage and tradition that is Eastern Michigan basketball -- it's more than just Earl Boykins you know. That leads us to this week's eBay items of the week -- old school Eastern Michigan basketball guides.

For the low price of $14.95 you can get the 1972-73 media guide - complete with this awesome cover photo:

$14.95 will also score you the fall themed 1981-82 edition.

Or if you are on a budget, the 1976-77 guide goes for the low, low price of $9.99 (the team went 9-18 that year)

Best of luck to coach Murphy and please, stay off the cover of EMU's basketball guides.

Caleb Walker Knows How to Slide

The web site TNSP brings us the story of Caleb Walker, a Mississippi high school baseball player that pulled off an amazing slide into home plate recently.  Let's just say I don't think we'll see Prince Fielder doing this any time soon.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Real NFL Schedule Announcement

The NFL announced the 2011 schedule yesterday and it features many interesting nuggets like a NY Giants-Washington Redskins game on the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks. It is also normally the time of year when fans start speculating as to how their favorite team will do and what stretch of games will be easiest and toughest.

Of course, right now the NFL is in lock-out mode, so all of that speculation is more pointless than usual. As such, we took a page from Sean and gave the announcement a comix twist -- which is more realistic than the sham that was presented to us yesterday.

The NFL Announces the 2011 Schedule

Carmelo's 42 Points - in One Video

The Celtics beat the Knicks again last night, but you can't pin this loss on Carmelo Anthony.  The former SU star scored 42 points last night, and you can see the best of them in the video below.  He looked like a more athletic Bernard King. It was one hell of an impressive display.

Video via the Big Lead.

Michael Irvin Enjoys Eagles Road Games

Michael Irvin - the Playmaker - is still making goofy faces.  The former Cowboy, whose career came to a sudden halt on the fake turf of Veteran's Stadium, was all smiles yesterday discussing the 2011 NFL schedule. Whether these games ever get played or not is another matter but when you combine the dopey grin with the graphic on the Eagle's schedule I'm pretty sure Mike still feels the same way about Philly as he does about Everett McIver cutting in front of him to get a haircut.

Photo via Scott Johnson

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

New York State Cracks Down on the Scourge That is Kickball

From the only in New York file we bring you this story from the Albany Times Union.  Apparently, thanks to a law passed a few years ago, the state may be regulating recreational games like wiffle ball and kickball that kids play in the summer.  Unbelievable.  And this is the same state that is trying to encourage kids to play more to cut down on childhood obesity.....

The good news is that at least adult kickball is taking off.  Here's a refresher course on the rules for those of you who are thinking of joining in this summer -- unless the state decides to save us all from ourselves and shut this down too.

Monday, April 18, 2011

The NFL Draft Wasn't Always So Slick

While Orange fans wait to see what happens with Dion Waiters and speculate about what the Spring football game truly means, we here at T3I will do what we do best -- hop in the way back machine and enjoy a decade everyone loves -- the 1980s.

From the excellent blog the Lost Letterman, we bring you this video of ESPN's coverage of the 1983 NFL Draft.  Needless to say, the coverage is a little different than it is today. Of special note -- a set devoid of graphics or color, Chris Berman with all of his hair and without the extra 75 pounds and the music playing behind the Dave Rimington highlights that is slighly porn-esque.....oh 1980s, how we love you.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Income Taxes - A Refresher Course

Income taxes are due Monday. If you don't bother to do these, eventually your friends at the IRS will pay you a little visit and that visit won't be pleasant. And since we care about our readers and understand that you only do taxes once a year, we know how easy it is to forget the ins and outs of tax preparation.

That's why we here at T3I have developed a quick 3-step refresher course to help you, using the nation's foremost tax experts -- the Simpsons. Hopefully it's of great use to you this weekend, and don't say we've never done anything for you.

Step 1 - understand what you are paying for.

Step 2 - get down and dirty and do the paperwork.

Step 3 - appreciate the men and women who will audit your results.

Finally a Golfer We Can All Relate To

Readers of this crappy little blog know that I enjoy spending time on the links. Just last I week went to Myrtle Beach and spent 5 days hacking up fairways and 4 putting greens. I even managed to accomplish what has become one of my specialties - the 3 putt par. On our last day I managed to reach one of the par 5s on the back a Wild Wing Plantation in two -- I then promptly 3 putted. It was a smooth 5 to say the least.

Welcome to golf, where we all suck -- except for players on tour. Well most of the time except for players on tour. I'd like to thank Kevin Na for making a 16 on the ninth hole of the Valero Texas Open. To Mr. Na all I can say is -- I feel your pain.  That and I would have picked up and put down a 10 -- I'm sure you would have done the same if you could have.

Thanks to Dogs Chasing Cars for the info.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Boxer Splits a Double Header, Loses to Opponent, Beats Ref

From the blog Ted Williams Head, we get the story of Khoren Gevor, a boxer who didn't take kindly to the referee's decision to disqualify him.  Clearly, he felt like he still had some fighting to do.  Unfortunately for the ref, he was the next opponent.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Sweet Caroline

A week into the season Boston and Tampa Bay have truly separated themselves from the rest of the competition in the AL East as predicted by many preseason experts.

In related news, T3I is reporting that the Boston Red Sox are on pace to break the 1962 Mets' record for most losses in a season (120).

Who Says There's Anything Wrong With College Sports?

It's about time. Champions like this really restore our faith in major college athletics. It's time for T3I to put our dislike of Storrs aside and offer up our heartiest of congratulations to the National Champion* Huskies.

While we aren't going to order the Sports Illustrated fan pack any time soon, we do officially endorse a worthy t-shirt to commemorate this year's champion.

* until title is vacated

Ebay Item of the Week: Axeman Special

Photo: Frank Ordonez, Post-Standard

I remember the 1994 Syracuse football season for two reasons: first, the Orangemen opened the season with a heartbreaking 30-29 loss to Oklahoma which I had the pleasure of attending with my good friend and long-time T3I poster "The Captain." Second, it was the year the team decided to remove the names from the back of their jerseys. Well for only $249.99 you can get your hands one one of these 125th anniversary jerseys.

What the heck does this have to do with our buddy The Axeman? Well, Axe loves taking a musical trip down memory lane with us. So, let's fire up the Idiot Hot Tub Time Machine and take a look back at the #1 hits of 1994: