Thursday, June 30, 2011

Claire Kelly is Determined to Get Tattooed to Chase a Dream

Claire Kelly is dedicated
The other day we mentioned that Australian volleyball player Claire Kelly was looking get a sponsor logo tattooed on her body in order to raise enough money to play pro volleyball and then hopefully qualify for the Olympics.

While the idea certainly isn't for everyone, it's also innovative and kind of cool. Plus, you have to admire someone's dedication if they are willing to walk around forever with a tattoo of Bob's Chicken Shack to try and realize a lifelong dream.

However, she was forced to pull the offer from eBay and has now moved on to slightly different version of the project. She is seeking donations and design submissions from artists and if they raise enough money, Claire and her partner will put up the top 10 choices and the public will vote on which design gets permanently engraved on their bodies.

To donate or check out all the details of the new offer - go to Team CK Plan B.  We would suggest someone submit a picture of Doug Marrone's face, but we doubt that will make the final cut.

We wish Claire the best of luck and we'll be watching the outcome. However, one person who will never be able to pull of such a stunt -- Chris 'the Birdman' Anderson. There's no room left.

Not much canvas left on the Birdman

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Andrea Adelson is Beginning to Understand Doug Marrone

We've taken issue with some of the things ESPN Big East blogger Andrea Adelson has written in the past -- but we're forgiving idiots and more than willing to let go of past perceived slights.  And since Adelson is the new ESPN Big East blogger, we will all be reading what she has to say about the entire conference a lot more often.

The good news is that she's only on the job a few weeks and it's clear she's learning the language of Doug Marrone quickly, as evidenced her post yesterday about Big East coaches and job security.

Here's what she wrote about the SU coach:

 Now if she can work "standpoint" into something soon, it will be abundantly clear Andrea has a tremendous grasp on how Doug uses the English language.

Tattoos as Billboards - Why the Hell Not

An enterprising Australian volleyball player named Claire Kelly is attempting to make some extra scratch by sporting tattoo advertisements on various parts of her body, and we're not talking about the temporary kind either -- we're talking the real, permanent deal.

That got us to thinking (something we generally avoid) -- in these tough economic times, other figures in the world of sports could certainly use some extra-income, and this seems like the perfect way to do it.  However, they need to be matched up with the perfect corporate partner because after all, tattoos are forever.   Luckily for the following people, we've got the answers.

LeBron James

Sponsor: Tony Robbins.

Potential Tattoo: Awaken the Giant Within

Dana Holgorsen

Sponsor: Golden (you can't get kicked out)

Potential Tatto: This would work well with his receding hairline

Dana's got a lot of room for this one

Jim Tressel

Sponsor: Fine Line Ink Tattoos

Potential Tatto:

Frank McCourt

Sponsor:  Bayer, Wishman & Leotta -- Certified Bankruptcy Attorneys

Potential Tattoo:

This would look sweet on Frank McCourts bicep

Greg Robinson

Sponsor: Aaron Goldfarb - Author How to Fail

Potential Tattoo:

This also doubles as Greg Robinson's autobiography

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Ebay Item of the Week: The Jim Boeheim Workout

Otto, before and after the Big Orange workout

If you're interested in getting jacked up like our boy Otto then Jim Boeheim's 1994 Big Orange Basketball Camp Workout is for you. As the seller is quick to point out, it's 14 typewritten pages that any Syracuse collector would want.

We at T3I take a different approach to our fitness and look to former '80s WWF announcer "Mean Gene" Okerlund and wrestling icon Hulk Hogan to keep us in shape.

2 Legit Tuesday

My Tuesdays aren't complete without a little MC Hammer...I mean Hammer, with a side of Jose Canseco, Rickey Henderson, Chris Mullin, Roger Clemens and Jerry Glanville.

Editor's Note: Skip to the 3:50 mark to enjoy some early '90s superstars from the sporting world.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Dodgers File For Bankruptcy, Bake Sale Ensues

Dodger owner Frank McCourt filed for bankruptcy protection according to today's Los Angeles Times. Let's see...second largest market in the country, check. One of the iconic franchises in Major League Baseball, check.

In between changing diapers on my 1 yo daughter, I caught a little of the Dan Patrick Show today. DP had some fun with the list of creditors due money from the Dodgers. Manny Ramirez ($21 million), Andruw Jones ($11 million), and iconic broadcaster Vin Scully ($152,778) are among those still owed money.

Our hard hitting investigative reporting unit at T3I takes us behind the scenes of Mr. McCourt's decision:

To Catch a Competitor

Syracuse hired a new video coordinator late last week.  Steve Scarnecchia, a Syracuse alum, returns the hill after a stint in the NFL. And what was the reason Mr. Scarnecchia was available?  Let's just say his last gig with the Denver Broncos didn't end too well.  Apparently the NFL is a little touchy about video-taping other teams when you aren't supposed to.....and they are especially touchy when it's not the first time you are implicated in suspicious video-taping practices.

So while we here at T3I have no doubt that Doug Marrone will keep Steve's extra-cirrucular taping activities under wraps, if he does decide to "act alone" and maybe get a little extra B-roll of some other team's practices like a cameraman on 'To Catch a Predator', here are some things we'd like him to find out about SU's Big East competitors.

Connecticut:  Paul Pasqualoni was the head coach while Scarnecchia was at SU, so we want to know if he has the same playbook.  We're not talking actual plays, that's pretty much a given, even if you believe George DeLeone is a genius.  We want to know if he just went in the basement, got his leftover orange playbooks and spray-painted them blue.

West Virginia: Does Dana Holgorsen split 10s?  He looks like they type that would. We need proof.

Pittsburgh: Did Dave Wannestedt leave his mustache trimmer in his office before he left? Now that he's re-creating magic with Chan Gailey in Buffalo, he can probably afford a new one, but you never really know.

South Florida: Does Skip Holtz have a "Lou to English" dictionary on his desk?

Louisville: Are people really forced to eat crappy Papa John's pizza in the football complex?  If so, that makes the job Charlie Strong did last year all the more remarkable. It may also explain why Darius Ashley is drunk all the time.

Cincinnati:  Will Butch Jones bring in guest speakers to talk about success all season, since he didn't have any last year.

Rutgers: Is this really Greg Schiano's trophy case, or does he prefer oak?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

John Thompson Rehires Kevin Broadus

Breaking News - New hire proves NCAA rules are mere "suggestions"

John Thompson III has added a new/old face to the Georgetown Hoyas coaching staff -- former assistant Kevin Broadus, who left in 2007 to coach and destroy the Binghamton Bearcats basketball program.

In just a few short years, Broadus compiled an impressive record of achievement. Highlights of his tenure include:

- Getting himself "fired" while still swindling a $1.2 million settlement from the University.

- Getting his athletic director fired.

- Creating a culture within the athletic department that led the Chancellor of the entire State University system to bring in the former top judge in the State to investigate the mess. That cost the State University system almost a million bucks.

- And led to the "retirement" of Lois DeFleur in 2010.

- He left the program in such a mess, with so many players getting kicked off the team (for things like dealing crack) that they had to hold open tryouts to field a team.

Well done JT III, we take it Dave Bliss wasn't available?

Monday, June 20, 2011

Florida's Youth Movement

Florida turned to Jack McKeon after first choice Connie Mack was unavailable

The Florida Marlins named 80 year old former manager Jack McKeon as their interim manager. More power to the man. When I'm 80 I just hope I'm in good health and not wearing adult diapers, nevermind managing a Major League Baseball team.

We'll take this opportunity break out a new feature on T3I:

Am I Older Than The New Marlins Manager? (answers appear in our comments section)

1. Actor Wilfred Brimley

2. The Pontiac automobile line

3. America's new favorite celebrity Betty White

4. Former President Jimmy Carter

5. The Lay's Potato Chips brand

6. Fomer Yankee great Mickey Mantle

7. The Snickers candy bar

8. Former home of the Syracuse Chiefs, MacArthur Stadium

9. South Korean dictator Kim Jong II

10. Fellow Jack, Academy Award winner Jack Nicholson

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Ebay Item of the Week: Shafer City

Calling all collectors of Syracuse special teams memorabillia, we're here for you. Move over the John Biskup figurines and make room next to the Pat O'Neill game worn jersey.

$15.00 will let you take home this signed 8x10 of former Orange punter/kicker Mike Shafer.

Did someone say Schaefer City?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Jersey Sports Fan Loves the Summer

A big tip of the hat to my friend Doug for sending along this video of the "Jersey Sports Fan" breaking down the world of sports while on a fishing trip at the Jersey Shore.  It cracked me up - especially the Mets jokes. Let's face it, if we can't make fun of the Mets, the terrorists have won.

A word of warning, if you're offended by a little bit of rough language, don't watch the video.  Or walk down the street for that matter - we're all adults here. Enjoy.

David Tyree Pulls a Tim Hardaway

Breaking News - This catch now overshadowed by crazy comments

We don't delve into politics around here because let's face it, we can't afford to lose half our audience.  Going from 10 readers a day to 5 would be devastating.  Our egos DEPEND on the sweet, sweet page views that can soar in the hundreds per day around here.

However, other people aren't so shy, we'll be glad to report what they have to say.

New York is on the verge of legalizing same-sex marriage -- and that's a topic that has generated quite a bit of heat here in Albany.  Let's face it, Vermont can recognize same-sex couples and no one really cares because well, it's Vermont.  When New York does something, people take notice.

Into this debate enters SuperBowl hero and former Syracuse Orange wide receiver David Tyree -- who doesn't tip toe into the discourse.  Rather he walks in with a flamethrower and says that gay marriage is the first step on the road to ANARCHY.   In the sports world, this is called pulling a Tim Hardaway

The good news for Tyree is that with the NFL lock out still on-going, he can't get banned from the Pro Bowl, like Hardaway was banned from the NBA All Star game -- so he's got that going for him, which is nice.

And since Hardaway doesn't hate gays anymore, maybe Davey boy will backtrack on his comments and possibly downgrade his assessment from causing anarchy to merely creating chaos in a few weeks ......we'll have to wait and see.

Keith Bulluck Wants to Make the Lions More Orange

Could these former SU linebackers soon be teammates?
Former SU standout linebacker Keith Bulluck has an interest in joining Detroit Lions rookie and former SU star Doug Hogue as a member of the Detroit Lions linebacking corps. It's funny how once you take the Millen out of the situation, things seem more desirable.

Provided there's some gas left in his tank, Bulluck would be a good fit for the Lions, who are young and in need of leadership on the defensive side of the ball. While we'd like to think he wants to go there to mentor Doug Hogue and form and an Orange linebacking crew, the real reason Bulluck is interested is that it would reunite him with his former defensive coordinator in Tennessee Jim Schwartz, who has a done a good job since taking over Detroit.

According to our analysis, all Schrwartz needs to do is wait for the lock out to end, sign Bulluck, and then hire a witch doctor to cast a spell over Matthew Stafford and keep him healthy and the Lions are SuperBowl bound.  If that happens there's a 60 percent chance it will work every time.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

John Sterling Continually Fails to Reach Ever-Lowering Bar

If John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman were soft drink executives, they would have been the ones responsible for New Coke. If they were Broadway producers, they'd be working on Spiderman. If they were NFL owners, they'd hire Matt Millen as their next GM. It's no secret they are terrible at their respective jobs -- and we're Yankee fans. In fact, I don't know a single Yankee fan who likes either of them - and there are a million of us out there.

So we had to chuckle when we saw Awful Announcing point out Sterling's latest broadcasting gem.....otherwise known as the case of disappearing base hit, foul ball, out....Although you can't blame John, Nick Swisher is getting harder and harder to see these days.

Monday, June 13, 2011


Congrats Dirk! You're closing in on Dirk Benedict for the title of "Coolest Dirk Alive."

Now excuse me while I blast my abs...Faceman style:

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Loss of the Rings

As you know, even though they held a celebration nearly a year ago, the Miami Heat did not win the NBA Championship this year.  A pesky little Dallas Mavericks team had other ideas.......and once the loss was final, the Internet took over.  The following is an amazing photoshop that sums up how 90% of America felt about LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzki.

From Vegan Chef Steve via JE Skeets.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Ebay Item of the Week: A Hat Cooler Than Airwolf

Who would drop $100 on a mesh, snap-back hat from the 1980s? Count me in if we're talking about this cool mama-jamma.

This thing is badder than Jan-Michael Vincent!

Tale of the Tape: West Virginia Football v. The Dukes of Hazzard

So by now you've certainly heard about the little coaching debacle going on in West Virginia and unless you're a fan of the Mountaineers or toasty couches, it's pretty freakin' hilarious. Let's put it this way, when a website dedicated to following West Virginia mentions a 100 year flood of incompetence and this situation is worse, even Anthony Weiner realizes that this is an embarrassment.

However, it got us thinking -- which southern-fried institution is more incompetent - the West Virginia football program or the Dukes of Hazzard? There's only one way to find out, let's break it down scientifically using the tale of the tape.


The Dukes: Boss Hogg - a man who can't capture his rivals the Duke Boys thanks to his inept sheriff - who also happens to be his brother-in-law.

WVU: Oliver Luck - a man who is his first attempt at picking a head coach couldn't catch enough common sense to realize that when you bring in a coach-in-waiting when the current guy doesn't want to go, things will end poorly.

ADVANTAGE: The Dukes -- only because Boss Hogg has got a longer track record of incompetence, although Luck is off to a good start.

Head Coach/Top Official

The Dukes: Roscoe P. Coltrane, a man that's wrecked more cars than a NASCAR driver.

WVU: Bill Stewart, a man that's wrecked more potential conference championships than Terrelle Pryor in a tattoo parlor.

ADVANTAGE: The Dukes -- at least Stewart was hired after a big victory and has won some games, whereas Coltrane was simply the a benefit of nepotism.

Top Lieutenant:

The Dukes: Enos Strate, a bumbling deputy with a heart of gold.

WVU: Dana Holgorsen, a bright offensive mind who hates being home so much he chooses to live in a hotel Rick Majerus-style.

ADVANTAGE: WVU - Enos was at least lovable, Holgorsen, not so much....especially if you're a casino employee.

Top Lieutenant's Vice

The Dukes: Enos' love of Daisy Duke often led to the Duke boys getting away.

WVU: Holgorsen allegedly enjoys a lot of drinking and gambling (again - allegedly)

ADVANTAGE: Push - there's no way you can decide between a hot woman and boozing and gambling. Everyone is a winner here.

Preferred Ignitable

The Dukes: Outhouses

WVU: Couches

ADVANTAGE: WVU -- a nice couch is expensive these days, whereas no one gives a crap about outhouses anymore.


The Dukes: The Confederate Flag on the General Lee.

WVU: Interlocking WV mountain logo.

ADVANTAGE: The Dukes - you don't get more inept than a flag that represents racism.

The Program's Low Point:

The Dukes: The Coy and Vance Season.

WVU: A winless 1960 season.

ADVANTAGE: The Dukes -- Coy and Vance were the Greg Robinsons of network television.

Theme Song

The Dukes: The Dukes of Hazzard Theme Song

WVU: Hail West Virginia

ADVANTAGE: WVU -- a crappy fight song that sounds like every other schools can't hold a candle to Waylon Jennings.

So there you have it. When you break it down scientifically, the Dukes of Hazzard are slightly more incompetent than the West Virginia football program, but it's clear the Mountaineers closing fast.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Greg Robinson Weekly: Offseason Edition

Besides perpetuating the "GRob to Ohio State" rumors, it's been a while since we last checked in with a peek at the latest Greg Robinson news from around the internet. Let's get to it:

"Maybe we are being to hard on Greg Robinson, but then again the only reason Michigan had to score 67 points to beat Illinois last year was because they gave up 65 points to a red shirt freshman QB led offense. " ~Indiana SB Nation Big 10 Preview

"Had he not made the fatal error of trusting Greg Robinson, Mr. Rodriguez would undoubtedly still be coaching the Michigan Wolverines today." ~A Modest Proposal for West Virgina,

"One could certainly make the argument that it was the continuing ineptitude of former defensive coordinator Greg Robinson that cost former head coach Rich Rodriguez his job in Ann Arbor. After all, Robinson's latter year spearheading the Wolverine defense was, by far, the worst in points allowed in Michigan history..."

"If ever there was a case for addition by subtraction, Michigan ditching defensive coordinator Greg Robinson and his preposterous 3-3-5 defense is it." ~Off Tackle Empire

Monday, June 6, 2011

Orlando Sentinel is Still Not in Love With Syracuse Football

Each off-season the Orlando Sentinel college football blog ranks every team in Division I football.  Last year, we took issue with them ranking the Orange 104th -- which ended up being wildly off as SU went 8-5 overall, 4-3 in the Big East and beat Kansas State in the Pinstripe Bowl.

This year Syracuse moves up 33 places in their rankings, checking it at number 71.  According to the Sentinel, the only team Syracuse is better than in the Big East is Rutgers.

The rankings are a fun exercise and ultimately meaningless, so we're not going to get all fired up over this year's position -- even though it once again is about 20 spots lower than it should be.  While the Orange lost a lot of talent on defense, this year's team will have a very experienced, deeper offensive line, a vastly improved receiving corps, and a quarterback with a year of valuable starting experience under his belt.

The defense will be young and undersized, but Scott Shafer has worked miracles in his first two years with the Orange and if he can utilize the speed of a small, young crew and continue to play a style that attacks the ball and creates turnovers, that will be enough to keep Syracuse in games.  We actually believe this is the year Syracuse can out-score some opponents, so they won't have to rely on the defense as heavily.

We'll leave the real complaining to Rutgers Scarlet Knights fans as they checked in at number 107 on the list, and that's especially awkward since the picture of the coach used in the College GridIron 365 logo looks a lot like Greg Schiano.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Must See TV?

In case you haven't heard, the SU-Wake Forest game has been moved to a Thursday night. Let's not sell the braintrust at SU Athletics short. I'm sure NBC is looking for some quality programming to join their "Must See TV" Thursday night tradition, and those fine folks on the hill might be onto something here.

Editor's note: here's a fun read on the history of NBC's Thursday night lineup.

Cosby Show, A Different World, Cheers, and Syracuse Football this fall on NBC!

Syracuse to Out of Town Football Fans: Drop Dead

On this site we like to have fun. Making bad jokes, mocking the inherent stupidity of sports and generally being goofy is what we do. So if you don't want to read a rant about Syracuse football, ticket prices and scheduling, you'll want to skip this post and go check out the eBay item of the week - Champ nailed that feature as usual.

For those you of still reading, here it goes. Syracuse University announced that the home football opener against Wake Forest has been moved to Thursday, September 1, at 8:00 pm. According to the announcement on the SU Athletics web site, the only stated reason is to kick off the Labor Day weekend and let the fans enjoy "all the other activities the region has to offer," which roughly translates to -- we don't think anyone is going to show up, so let's get this out of the way.

To make matters more baffling and infuriating, the game wasn't moved so it could take place on national television -- rather it will be streamed in on internet via ESPN3 -- and about 10 other web sites that will show the game illegally.

The move makes absolutely no sense -- but given the fact that in the press release announcing the change Daryl Gross is quoted as saying "To host the first Thursday night football game in school history" which, as Sean pointed out isn't close to true -- I guess we shouldn't really be surprised. I was actually at that 1989 game with my family -- filled to the gills with turkey and mashed potatoes, but I guess in Dr. Gross' world, if it didn't happen while he was at SU, it didn't happen.

The move means that three of the seven home football games this year will not be played on Saturday. Two of these changes have been announced AFTER season ticket renewals were due. So basically people who live out of town and are season ticket holders -- and I am one of those people -- are flat out getting screwed.

It takes me over two hours to get to games (on a Saturday morning, this doesn't include dealing with 5 o'clock Friday traffic) and many people travel a lot farther than that. Boss got season tickets last year and traveled from Maryland every weekend. I have another friend that comes up from NYC. To accommodate the change in the schedule we've now got to get out of work early or take entire days off to get to games we've already paid for. And here's the kicker - the people who are most affected by these late changes are the diehards. We've been supporting the program for years. For that support, we get a sharp stick in the eye. The University doesn't care - they've got our money and most likely they will get it again next year. They know that and are taking full advantage of it.

The Wake Forest game is especially egregious since like most people who are gainfully employed, I'm expected to be at work on the Friday following the game. Since my job is also in the private sector, I have limited time off. I try very hard to apportion this time off in a manner that lets me spend time doing things my wife wants to do -- since she indulges my over-consumption of sports as it is.

So, the program's most loyal supporters now need to take multiple days off from work, rearrange travel plans, negotiate with spouses over the use of vacation time and try and unload tickets to games we can no longer make because the athletic department wants us to get a head start on the holiday weekend. Lovely. Here are the four games SU will play on Saturday in the Carrier Dome.
  • Rhode Island
  • Toledo
  • Rutgers
  • Cincinnati
Be still my beating heart.

This doesn't even take into account the disruption to local fans and those that want to tailgate -- which includes our group. While tailgating is still possible on a Friday night, even people that live locally will have less time to get to games, set up and enjoy the pre-game festivities because the last time I checked most of us are working until 5 o'clock.

Look, I understand there are multiple reasons for moving games and playing once on a Friday night to get on ESPN 2 is something I can live with. However, playing 42% of your home schedule, including the two biggest home games of the year on week nights is unacceptable and it sends a clear message - the athletic department doesn't give a crap about fans -- especially its most loyal ones.

This latest move comes on the heels of the following:

- Four terrible years of football brought on by Gross' decision to hire Greg Robinson.

- Playing two 1-AA opponents back to back at home last year.

- Moving match ups that should be home games against USC and Notre Dame to the Meadowlands for the next 10 years.

- Steadily escalating ticket prices, while the quality of home opponents quickly goes down.

So, what's fan to do? Realistically there's not much we can do. We know this - the athletic department knows this. I'll be the first to admit that while ticket prices aren't wildly expensive, they aren't a cheap proposition either. Do out of towners give up their tickets? Rant on the internet? Make voodoo dolls of Daryl Gross?

It's a complicated issue. I've been a Syracuse football fan my entire life. I went to the Carrier Dome for the first time at the age of 8 and have been back to the building more times than I count over years. That fandom has turned me into an adult that supports the program. My step-father has had tickets to for football and basketball since the Dome opened. For the past 10 years or so, I've purchased two season football tickets through him. They are great seats, situated in the second row of the upper deck, at the 45 yard line. Seats don't get any better.

Since these seats are in a prime location, we have to pay a preferred seating fee. I split my fee with my aunt -- who takes the corresponding seats for basketball (which I can't get to since most games are played during the week). All told, my bill for two tickets to 7 home football games this year comes to $1,200. While I don't have past bills in front of me, I'd estimate this has gone up about $300 over the past five years.

However, there are much cheaper ways to watch the team -- but I've been paying the higher number because the seats are great and I want to do my part. I know Syracuse doesn't have the resources of larger schools and I'm making OK money. Even though I was paying to watch Greg Robinson piss on his own shoes while SU got pummeled every week, I knew the turn around would happen and I wanted to support the program and be there when it did. Until today that is.

Enough is enough. I'm pissed off that my reward for sticking with this program through lean times has been higher prices, marque games being moved to venues hundreds of miles away, and moving game times to accommodate the freaking internet -- after I've already been shaken down for ticket money.

So here's what I'm going to do. Next year I'm not re-upping my season tickets. My step father will turn them back over to the school because he's not going to pay for the extras. I'll cherry pick a few games I know I can make because they are on a Saturday, buy the cheapest possible seats in the building, pay a private vendor for parking (instead of paying SU for a parking pass), and get in the door dirt cheap.

And while my seats are great, what I failed to mention is that my section has been very empty for a long time. Mostly its because the prices are so high that in such a small building people are paying a 10th of what I pay and sitting the end zone -- which isn't much farther away. I can't say I blame them.

I never wanted to do that though. I wanted to support the program. However, the athletic department keeps taking advantage of that support and treating me and many others like like a shithead - so I'm going to start treating it like shithead in return. Will it make a difference?  Of course not.  Ticket holders come and go, it's the nature of the business.  But at least I won't be rewarding bad behavior.

And once I'm in the building I'll walk over and sit in my old seats -- which will be empty because people aren't going to pay you pay SU top dollar be abused. It's something Syracuse doesn't understand.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Ebay Items of the Week: Otto Through The Years

Our boy Otto is one of the most recognizable mascots in all of college sports. We've had some fun at T3I taking a look back at the various incarnations of our favorite fruit.

Well, with the lack of originality you've come to expect from this blog, here are some more takes on Otto that appear on apparel and memorabillia in the fun world of EBay:

Old School Otto: At first look, I really thought this was a picture drawn by my 4yo son.

Propecia Otto: There's something really creepy about this hairless, apparently naked Otto gracing a t-shirt.

Celbriduck Otto: Otto the duck? Sounds better than Harold the Duck.

Greg Robinson Really is Perfect for the Ohio State Job

Deep thoughts from Greg - derp, derp, derp, derp

As Champ pointed out, we here at T3I truly believe Greg Robinson is the man to restore honor at Ohio State. Let's face it, anyone that knows the Little Engine That Could as well as Greggers knows how to instill hometown values in his players.

Do you think Ohio State players are going to get free tats and discounted rides after Greg repeats to them, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can? We certainly don't. That's free tattoo repellent right there. It's a scientifically proven fact that its impossible to get a tattoo after having a children's book recited to you for hours on end. It's a little known fact, but Dennis Rodman was actually going to get more tattoos until Dr. Drew held an intervention and read him Dr. Seuss books for hours end. True story.

Champ pointed out some of Greg's qualifications and since we feel so strongly about this campaign, let me add a few more that will hopefully put his candidacy over the top. Let's see Urban Meyer match these.

Greg has a spotless NCAA record. He's had no transgressions at any of his college stops....and we're not counting Rich Rodriguez's little dust up when he got in trouble for having Michigan practice too much. All you had to do was watch Michigan play last year and its clear the defense wasn't putting in any additional work.

Greg has experience recruiting Ohio. Arguably the best player he ever brought to Syracuse was Ohio native Delone Carter. We won't mention the fact that Greggers essentially benched him for his entire sophomore year. It's the recruiting that counts -- just ask Charlie Weiss.

Greg is one of the few candidates out there directly responsible for beating Michigan -- and beating Michigan often. At Ohio State there is nothing more important than beating UM. Jim Tressel was 9-1 against the hated rival, but Greg has him beat. In two years Robinson was responsible for more Michigan losses than Tressel was in a decade. Even when Greg didn't beat Michigan, he tried like hell. I mean if your defense gives up 65 points, you can't pin that win on G-Rob.

So there you have it folks -- when you look at all the facts it becomes abundantly clear that there's only one person to coach THE Ohio State University, and that person is Greg Robinson. Who knows, after Gene Smith gets fired -- and that day is coming in the not too distant future -- Ohio State can hire Daryl Gross and reunite the SU Football dream team.