Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year's Resolutions

Well 2013 is two days old and already big things are happening - Jim Boeheim has passed Bob Knight, winning his 903rd game, Louisville upset the Florida Gators in the Sugar Bowl, and the fiscal cliff has been averted....for now. However, there's a lot of 2013 left and that means one thing - resolutions. Here are mine and please keep in mind I can't speak for Champ. Hell I can't even locate him right now, I heard he's on the West Coast negotiating to bring Greg Robinson back to coach Syracuse.

With that being said, in 2013 I do hereby resolve:

* To not engage with, read, or give attention to the growing legion of sports media figures whose soul purpose in life is to troll their audiences to solicit a reaction and attention. I'm tired of guys like Doug Gottlieb, Skip Bayless, and Marcus Hayes. In order to survive, they need you to be enraged with their BOLD OPINIONS and ABSOLUTE TRUTHS. They will tell you they deal if FACTS when in reality they deal only in the currency of pissing you off to chase page views and rating points. If you really want to get to these guys, ignore them. Unfollow them on Twitter. Turn the TV when they invade your set. Change the channel when they come on the radio. Embrace serenity.

* To tell as many people as possible to follow Celebrity Hot Tub on Twitter. While he's a college football specialist, the man is a master of humor, mockery, sarcasm and insanity - all delivered in a 140 characters or less.

* To not go shopping with Michael Carter-Williams.

* To find new analogies to truly paint a picture of how bad many of the broadcasters are that work college basketball games. I understand eight million games are televised a week and someone has to call them. However, just because these idiots butcher the English language and offer trite bromides and tired platitudes about the play on the floor, that doesn't mean you should have suffer through my old jokes mocking them. I resolve find new ways to excoriate them.

* To write more on this dopey blog. Our son turns one this weekend and while he's beyond awesome, these little bastards take up insane amounts of time and energy. I have no idea who Champ manages to get anything up, as he's had kids about as long as this blog has been in existence.

* To not change the name of the blog, even though there are only two of us. It adds to the idiocy of the space.

* To grow my own version of a Duck Dynasty beard. This resolution will not last, but a man has to have dreams. Long, hideous, facial hair dreams.

I can only dream of growing facial hair this glorious

* To never buy a T-shirt SU Athletics creates to commemorate an event.  I've still got my Gerry McNamara OVERRATED T-shirt from 2006. It's covered in paint and doesn't fit great anymore, but it looks great.

* To finish the damn book I've been reading since my son was born. I used to read when I didn't fall asleep on the couch in a puddle of my own drool every night.

Happy 2013 friends. Thanks for still reading after all these years - we're looking forward to continuing to bring you idiocy.


Anonymous said...

Great Post Neph and Happy New Year!

Great 903 win for JB. I'm surprised you haven't posted anything about Andy Reid. I agrree with your posts re;Gottlieb, Bayless,etc. Gottlieb is vile and Bayless looks like he needs an enema!
Take care and keep posting. I was going into withdrawl!

Uncle Dave

Russianator said...

Thanks Dave! going to try and ramp up the content a little more, with the important word being "try."

As for Andy Reid, we was a good coach who did some really good things, but it was clearly time to move on. I wish him well. I think he'll win games wherever he goes next.