Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Thank You Notes: Penn State 23 - Syracuse 17

According to the Post Standard Terrel Hunt was amazing on Saturday

Penn State defeated Syracuse 23-17 on Saturday, moving to 0-2 in games played in the house Dr. Gross wishes he built -- but that was three days ago and you already know that.

Our good friend Jimmy Fallon* likes to write thank you notes from time to time and we thought that it would be nice to honor Jimmy as he takes over the Tonight Show next year and write some thank you notes of our own. Here goes.

Thank You Post Standard, for crediting Terrel Hunt with the game of his life. Only in the world of wildly inaccurate box scores can an interception also count as a completed pass - when no passes were actually thrown.

Thank You George McDonald for letting your inability to commit to a woman manifest itself in an inability to continue giving Jerome Smith the ball even though he was having a better game than Prince Tyson Gulley.

Thank You Doctor Daryl Gross, no one can turn New York's College Classic into a road game for the team from New York while playing in New Jersey quite like you.

Thank You Scott Shafer, the vigor and frequency with which you throw your visor ensures thousands of Malaysian children will have visor making employment for years to come.

Thank You Allen Robinson, for mysteriously getting suspended for the first half. Your absence did to the Syracuse secondary what Joan Rivers' plastic surgeon does to her face - it made them look smooth.

Thank You Chris Carlson, your obsession with Scott Shafer's sideline demeanor makes stalkers everywhere feel a bit less creepy while staking out their exes apartment at 3 am.

Thank You Drew Allen, for giving Christian Hackenberg time to catch up. The last time you played a meaningful game was 2008, he was in the 8th grade.  Most guys won't let snotty nose kids catch up and pass them all once.

Thank You Ed Cunningham, your obsession with seeing the referees throw a flag for targeting was so distracting that we barely noticed how terrible Mike Patrick is - and for that, we thank you immensely.

*I've never met Jimmy Fallon, but was once in a bowling league with a guy who does know him, so that counts....sort of. Also, I'm a terrible bowler.

No comments: